To teach a toddler to be nice to a pet?

[xxmumof2]

Hi all,

Recently my family decided we would like to get a kitten. I live in a 1 bed flat and plan to keep the kitten as a house cat (less risk of being ran over, getting fleas, being attacked by other animals and etc) and live on the top floor so wouldn’t be able to let her back in anyway. Pets are allowed where I live as my next door neighbour upstairs has a puppy.

I work from home so the pet won’t be left alone almost ever and will get plenty of attention. I’ve had cats before so I know about general care also.

My concern is: to get 1 year old to be gentle? Of course I don’t expect him to be and it isn’t his fault as he’s only little, but in my book, rather than keeping children away from something, you teach them how to handle it instead - in this case, instead of not getting a kitten, I’d like to teach my son how to treat animals and be kind (I’m a massive animal lover).

I have a 6 year old also and I remember when he was younger he wasn’t the kindest to kittens (he is well out of that phase now as he understands and is lovely to them).

Of course I’d never leave my 1 year old and the kitten together unattended for safety reasons for both parties.

Has anyone any advice on how to introduce my youngest son to the pet? I’d like for him to learn from an early age that animals are important and to be treated gently.

No silly comments please - I’ve had plenty of trolls on previous threads about other things with nasty comments and I will just report.

thanks

I think in a one bed flat with two children youve not really got enough room for a pet too. How do you plan to keep the baby out of the cat litter?

@Unfortun8 ive got more than enough room for a small kitten - How could I not? They don’t take up that much space. As for the cat litter, it’s called… keeping an eye on your children and supervising them? Not at all helpful comment.

I agree that a small flat, with no outside space and at least 3 humans including one toddler is potentially a very stressful situation for a kitten/cat. Toddlers and kittens aren't a good match at the best of times, you really need to think about what you can offer a cat and how you can meet its needs.

I wouldn’t. My sister tried in a similar situation and her dc were hateful to the kitten to the point one day it couldn’t be found and 4 hours later they finally found it wrapped up in clothes in a shoe box under the bed (he was fine but terrified) as their 6 year old had decided that would be a good idea for some reason

Just because you don’t like the answer, doesn’t mean it’s an unhelpful comment.

Not a cat but we have dogs with a toddler. Our dogs were here before DC and while the younger dog was still an adolescent we’d trained him to get on his bed out of DC way. DC has grown up being told to be gentle to the dogs. We show her how to stroke them, she’s sat down, our palms are flat and we go slowly and gently. Heads, tails and paws are also off limits. We watch her with the dogs and move the dogs away if they are having enough. They both know they can go on their beds and DC knows she’s not allowed on their beds, she’ll try but it’s something we’re consistent about. As she’s grown up with the dogs, it’s been quite easy to say to her which are dog toys because we never give them to her and we worked on the dogs leaving her toys when she was tiny. Is there a place for the kitten to escape to to get away from your toddler? How are you going to stop the toddler taking the kittens toys? Or the kitten playing with (damaging) the toddler’s soft toys?

There are other ways to introduce your children to animals and that we need to be kind to them, such as petting zoos. It doesn’t need to be an animal in the house. Having pets and a toddler is stressful. I also wouldn’t want the hassle of kitten whilst I’ve got a toddler.

No, not a good idea. I wouldn't even adopt an adult cat with a 1 year old. Would be different if the cat was already there.
Kittens and small children are not the best combination. Not intentionally, but small children can injure or kill a kitten. Kids can be rough and a kitten can become bitey or scratchy towards them.
I would wait until school age and get an adult or older kitten from a rescue. Yes, rescues do adopt to families with kids but it's on a case by case basis as some cats cannot live woth kids.

Should you still be in a flat, windows need to be secured so a cat can't escape and indoor cats need playing with more and need more enrichment activities.

Indoor cats can still get fleas.

@Unfortun8 ive got more than enough room for a small kitten - How could I not? They don’t take up that much space. As for the cat litter, it’s called… keeping an eye on your children and supervising them? Not at all helpful comment.

HAHAHA. Seriously? Kids move faster than you think.
A 1 bedroom property with 1 adult and 2 children is NOT a suitable place for a kitten.

Your child is far too young to be gentle with a tiny kitten. And kittens often bite and scratch.
If you really want a cat wait until your child is older and go for an adult rescue that is indoor only.

I agree with those saying you don’t have the space. Cats need a place to retreat to where they feel safe.

I've had cats for over 40 years. I really would not recommend your proposal. Cats need space and if living in doors need lots of play space and interactive climbing areas etc.

They also come eh preset as either breathing cushion or absolute nut which needs to zoom around at 3am hunting the unseen. Unless you are a robot you won't be able to keep an eye on very young children and cat. If you had a balcony and had a cat flap to our could put litter box outside.

Three people produce a lot of activity in a limited number of rooms for a cat. They like space to retreat and judge .

Honestly I don't believe you can teach or even expect a child so young how to be safe round a kitten. As they get older the kitten will probably avoid them but cats can do alot of damage if they don't like something being done like tail pulls. If you model gentle handling and don't allow kitten to be picked up it may be safe.

I think any pet (incl. Cat) needs a safe, quiet space away from the busy hands & minds of children.

Can you provide this in a 1 bed flat?

Toddlers are incredibly inquisitive, I remember my DS climbing over a child gate age 2.5 to get to the dog - he tipped over his toy box....

I would either get an older cat used to being indoors or wait. Most places won’t allow you to adopt kittens with under 5s because it isn’t a great combination and stressful to the kitten. It’s usually advised that kittens go in pairs as well.

My 1 year old is so gentle with the cats. Just have to teach your baba 😊 its all I did. Show how to be gentle and they learn.

It is possible. My son is really gentle with my cats. You just show them how to be. He learned very quickly. The cats are gentle with him too

Poor cat.

No they aren't.

really bad idea for the kitten

That's fantastic that it worked for you. It seems a bit risky and very unfair on an animal to be in a small, busy environment with the additional stress and risk of a 1 year old baby. Not a risk I'd take but great it works for some.

A one bedroom flat is not big enough for you, two small children and a cat. Tiny kittens grow into cats.

yes it’s not suitable. I’d struggle to have two kids in a one bedroom period especially if I WFH which I do. To add a kitten seems unwise and surely the 1 year old would be engaging with the cat without you there as you can’t keep eyes on them all the time?

An old friend of mines cat swiped her 5 year old kid near his eye and nearly blinded him because the cat found him annoying. He may well have been but children should be allowed to be annoying without risking their eyesight. Best to avoid this situation.

Absolutely no way can such a young child be gentle enough with a kitten. That’s why rescues don’t rehome tiny kittens with such young children. Children can be injured by sharp teeth and claws. And tiny kittens can be injured by young children.

I volunteer with a rescue and we will not rehome kittens to homes with children under 8, I agree with PP that you don’t have space to offer a good home to a cat that will have no access to outdoors and has to share space with two small children.

I'm sorry if you thought my comment was unhelpful. I think it's realistic. I've kept animals all my adult life and know what a huge commitment they are and how much space they need. Kittens are great but they need more room than you are currently able to offer them.