New puppy: Should we/shouldn’t we

[LindaD25]

Hi All,

Hoping to pick people’s brains! I have been desperate for a dog for a while now and I am getting to the stage where I am thinking no time is a good time so why not go ahead and get one.

I wanted to share my circumstances to see if anyone else is in a similar position and if they have been able to make it work.

My partner and I both work. We are in jobs where we can be at home for a few days in a row then we may have to travel for the odd couple of nights. We are also in jobs where we could be away for a month at a time (up to 3 times a year).

for the longer stints away we have family who would look after our dog, and for the shorter stints we have built a connection with a doggy day care company who also offer boarding.

can I ask if people think we are mad or if there are people out there who have been, or are in a similar situation and have been able to make it work?

thanks all!

It sounds like you’d be away/out a lot during the day so not ideal for a dog.

That sounds like a very confusing life for a dog especially a puppy.

Might sound ok in theory covering your time away. A dog isn’t likely to get used to this and might become clingy and unsettled never knowing when you are going away.

If you had a dog the emotional attachment between you would mean that it would be difficult to be apart for both of you.
Most responsible breeders would not agree to sell you a puppy with your commitments.
My advice would be no sorry.

Thank you - appreciate the reply 👍

Have you thought about trying Borrow my Doggy for a bit, if there's someone who's OK with your availability pattern?

That's a no for a puppy I think. It's too confusing and people often underestimate how tough raising a puppy will be. Sorry!

Totally agree that this would be really confusing and upsetting for the dog. Also that a bond would form and you will find it increasingly difficult to leave your dog so regularly and for weeks at a time.

The dog will have different rules in every place and training could be very difficult.

I've known several people who got dogs believing they could rely on family to look after the dog when they were away/working and they have all been let down - people have other commitments, get ill, get jobs or just get fed up with the tie of having a dog they themselves didn't choose.

I know you say there's never a good time OP, but really there is and I don't think you're there.

Oh, one last thing....not all dogs suit doggy day care. My neighbour had to give up her dog as he would not settle in day care. She tried three different day care set ups and short of leaving her job the only option was to let the dog go. Heartbreaking for everyone.

I spent a horrible few weeks being the person she called when let down by other people and it drove me mad. I have my own dog and love dogs and I couldn't stand this ' dog ownership by proxy role, not least of all because it was upsetting seeing her poor dog pushed from person to person.

Yes I’m already on borrow my doggy and look after one twice a week. I love it but not quite the same!

You are not in a suitable position to own an older dog, let alone a puppy.

I get the being desperate for your own dog OP, I've been there.
But I think right now your situation is just too far away from ideal to consider it.

Your situation has to be more suitable than "barely" because, well, life happens. The doggy daycare closes, or your dog doesn't do well there. Your family can't look after your dog any more, maybe they develop health issues or other responsibilities intervene.
Perhaps the dog acts up in certain places. Maybe it can't be left as long as you'd like.
The dog will get older and require more care. Perhaps it develops toileting issues and there's only so much you can do - and at that point you can't really farm out an elderly and frail dog (prone to poo and wee in undesirable places 'on a bad day') to others.

You have to have SOME slack in the system. But what you describe, not only is there no slack but it's in "emergency measures" already.

Hang on in there - a right time WILL come.

I know you don't mean it like this but essentially you are having a dog for your benefit and not the dogs.

Try to think of a dog as being a toddler. You can't play mum and dad one week and be off the next.

Only left my dog with dog minder for one week on two separate occasions. She was fine, well looked after but is definitely more anxious now that she has been left.

The dog will get older and require more care. Perhaps it develops toileting issues and there's only so much you can do - and at that point you can't really farm out an elderly and frail dog (prone to poo and wee in undesirable places 'on a bad day') to others.

This issue of how dogs need more care/commitment as they get older is rarely spoken of. People worry about the puppy stage, but when your dog becomes older it has a huge impact on family life....dog unable to go on walks and days out or be left. Our dog is 14 now and we have had to adjust our lives and can't go on holiday with her or leave her with anyone else. It doesn't matter because we love her and are retired, but in other circumstances it would be very hard.