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Original poster

should i get a dog/cat for my kids?

22 replies

osteopriyosis · 14/03/2023 12:15

soo we (my husband, our kids and i) visited my sister's house a few days ago. she has a golden retriever, brie, and my son was with him the entire time we were there. we left her house and the entire car ride he didn't say a single thing just sadly stared out the window (he never does this).

while we're eating dinner, my dh asks him why he's sad and he brings brie up. he says he's lonely at home cause he can't play with his sisters (they're too young and obviously we don't trust a 5yo with babies) basically he wants a pet but i feel like a dog wouldn't do well in our house. should i get a tinyyy dog or a cat or maybe something else or maybe nothing at all? 😳😬

OP posts:
PlateBilledDuckyPerson · 14/03/2023 12:24

No - a dog or cat is not a child's toy. It should be a very careful decision and the animal must be wanted by the whole family. You need to consider whether your lifestyle is suitable for the animal.

crazeecatladee · 14/03/2023 12:27

Getting a pet for your children is OK so long a you think it through. It will not be living in a pink/blue bubble. It will have needs too. A cat or dog may out live your children's childhood -by then it will be firmly a part of the family. It will restrict/determine the type of holidays you can have. It may even determine where you can live. We have cats (hence my user name) but they are a tie - can't be spontaneous for going away except for short weekends. We love every hair on their bodies (except when it's on the carpet) and wouldn't be without them, but choose your pet carefully.

Bunnyishotandcross · 14/03/2023 12:30

So 3 under 5 and you want a ddog? I did but I had wanted a ddog since I left home. Not a whim for a 5yo..

Exasperatednow · 14/03/2023 12:40

Only geta dog / cat if you want. It will be an afitional responsibility and cost. A dog is like having another child. Are you up for that?
Puppies are hard work and rescue dogs are hard to come by with children and will be work. Cats less work but you can't guarantee aplayful one. They very much have there own personalities.

FlounderingFruitcake · 14/03/2023 12:42

If you want a pet and have the capacity to care for it then sure. They not a children’s toy though so take your son out of the equation.

cocksstrideintheevening · 14/03/2023 12:45

The pet will be your responsibility. 100%. You don't get a pet as a toy for a child.

How would you manage the dog around the children? Giving the dog quiet time / space. Have you got time to walk it? Puppies are a pita, have you got time to toilet train/ train/ socialise?

I'm a dog lover, actually got ours a couple
Of weeks after I found out I was pregnant, which was somewhat of a surprise. I had
Time to toilet train / train etc before Dts turned up but I couldn't walk him with the buggy, he hated it, I had a playpen for the babies so I could pop them in there if I went to the toilet / make a drink / answer the door. I would never have left them without supervision / separation

squashyhat · 14/03/2023 12:50

No

Careerdilemma · 14/03/2023 12:58

With at least 3 kids 5 and under, do you have the time, energy and money to spare for a pet? Even a small dog will require at least an hour a day of exercise, a lot of training, shouldn't be left unattended with small children even for a moment and shouldn't be left home alone for more that 4 hours in a 24 hour period. Can you manage that?

TheHouseNextDoor · 14/03/2023 13:00

A child missing a dog isn't a reason to get a pet. Honestly, all pets are added things for you to do.

Going away is a pain and an added expense. As is the food, insurance and equipment needed.

I'd say a cat is the easiest pet I've had, but you can't even guarantee that any cat would be the lovely friendly type !

SBHon · 14/03/2023 13:01

Can he build a bond with Brie instead? All the fun bits, none of the crushing responsibility!

userxx · 14/03/2023 13:13

No. A friend did this, the child does not give two shits about the dog.

SallyWD · 14/03/2023 13:13

It can be a 20 year commitment so I'd bear that in mind. I think a cat is much, much easier than a dog. All I have to do is feed my cat twice a day and then he takes care of himself. Cats are just as affectionate as dogs too (although some dog people will always disagree). Every cat I've ever had has been extremely loving and great company.
I know dogs are great but they are such hard work!

RoseslnTheHospital · 14/03/2023 13:17

No. Only consider getting a dog (or cat, other pet) if you as the adult actually wants a dog and are prepared to put in all the work and the long commitment.

Your child had one day with one dog. That's not a basis for deciding to get your own dog.

Lcb123 · 14/03/2023 13:29

I wouldn’t get one on a whim (which it sounds like this is…) it’s an enormous and expensive commitment. Can you look at borrowing a dog from a local friend or family? Might give you some idea of what it’s like. We did house / dog sitting whilst travelling and it completely put us off getting a dog (and I love them) because we got to trial looking after one and it was too intense for us

pawz · 14/03/2023 13:33

If you don't trust a 5 year old with babies why would you trust them with an animal?!

Trust me, three walks a day and picking up sh*t for ten + years just to have an animal for your son to play with for a few weeks is not right. The dog won't be a playful puppy forever!

SUBisYodrethwhenLarping · 14/03/2023 13:37

Little dogs live longer than larger dogs, I think anyway.

Say to your sister that you will dog sit Brie anytime she wants to go out to a non dog friendly place or when she is on holiday, have the dog round at your house.

That way your DS can look after Brie but not the same amount of commitment when he gets bored

TeenLifeMum · 14/03/2023 13:38

There’s loads of evidence that pets are really good for dc but you need to want them too as they are a tie and you’ll be responsible.

my personal view is that dogs are not great in homes with small dc, especially young dogs - they’re demanding and like toddlers. We had cats which are much lower maintenance. We now have a dog that we got as a puppy when dc were 9 and 13. For us this was ideal but even then, took huge amounts of time training. He fits with our life and gets plenty o f outdoors time but at 3 years old he also is happy to nap in the mornings rather than bounce around.

MissingMoominMamma · 14/03/2023 13:46

I have a little dog. He needs two hour long walks a day. Little dogs often have lots of energy!

Could you get into volunteering, as a dog walker for a shelter, and take him along? It would give him some 1-1 time with you, and you could see how you feel about picking up poo!

Cloudhoppingdancer · 14/03/2023 13:47

I trained my dog really carefully for a few years before having children. You've left it too late really. You can't train puppies and children together.

Original poster
osteopriyosis · 14/03/2023 17:49

crazeecatladee · 14/03/2023 12:27

Getting a pet for your children is OK so long a you think it through. It will not be living in a pink/blue bubble. It will have needs too. A cat or dog may out live your children's childhood -by then it will be firmly a part of the family. It will restrict/determine the type of holidays you can have. It may even determine where you can live. We have cats (hence my user name) but they are a tie - can't be spontaneous for going away except for short weekends. We love every hair on their bodies (except when it's on the carpet) and wouldn't be without them, but choose your pet carefully.

dh and i used to have a dog but unfortunately he passed when ryan was about 2-3yo so we know how it is to take care of one. ryan was doing great with brie! he was really gentle and didn't force himself on her so i just thought he'd be fine with a dog. my sil has a litter of puppies in her house and she's looking for someone to adopt them soo we were considering it before but my mil kept telling us dogs are terrible for kids so we were unsure.....

OP posts:
Original poster
osteopriyosis · 14/03/2023 17:59

thank you all for your comments really 💕 i talked to my dh about it again and we thought it would be better to let ryan bond with brie (like some of you suggested) than get a pet for now. i'll reach out to my sister and ask if she wants us to dogsit brie since dh has time on his hands for that. maybe we'll wait till our kids are older... 🥰

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 14/03/2023 18:07

No. You get a dog for you after lots of time and planning. Your dcs wants aren't relevant here.
My kids want a dog but we aren't getting one.

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