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Original poster

Death of beloved pet, when will this pain go away

41 replies

Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 18:35

My beautiful little cat was run over and killed on Thursday evening, I have been totally in pieces since I got the call from the vet, some kind soul picked her up from the road and rushed her to the vets, for which I will be forever grateful. The vet said her death would have been almost instant, as she was hit in the head.

She was only 5 years old and ruled us all with her funny, diva like personality. She had a chipped cat flap and loved to go adventuring, usually no further than the back and front gardens and fence, but that evening, she obviously ventured further.

I have cried so much over the last couple of days, the pain at times is unbearable. Every room in my home reminds me of her, I have had to remove all her things, as I couldn't bear to look at them.

I am usually quite an unemotional person. All my family know me as a bit of a cold fish, but this has knocked me for 6 and it's actually scaring me how utterly devastated I feel.

Has anyone else felt this way at the loss of their pet and did this terrible grief subside?

OP posts:
Libre2 · 15/01/2023 18:37

I am so sorry for your loss. It does get easier in time, I promise. Be kind to yourself.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 15/01/2023 18:41

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure she had the best of lives with you. Do you want to tell us a about her at all?

Dragonfly97 · 15/01/2023 18:42

I'm so sorry for your loss op; it's devastating when we lose a precious pet. I lost my dog nearly 9 years ago, and still think of her; I got another dog 3 months after ddog was pts, but you never forget them, it just hurts less as time goes on. The pain is the price we pay for loving them 💔 💐

Dragonfly97 · 15/01/2023 18:45

Also I found it helped to choose a nice photo frame for a photo, and made an album of my ddog ; just doing something seems to help x

Punxsutawney · 15/01/2023 18:46

💐 Really really sorry.

Our little rescue cat was also killed last week. He was two years old. We miss him terribly. He never made it to the vets on Monday night and after being hit by a car in the next road along from us, got himself back to our front garden. Before dying alone.
We don't feel quite as raw as last Monday, but we are all devastated, so I completely understand where you are coming from. Take care of yourself.

Beamur · 15/01/2023 18:46

So sorry for your loss.
We lost our best boy over 3 years ago and DH and I still can't talk about him without getting upset. We had another cat at the time, but he was particularly special. Our neighbours were devastated too as he had lots of friends and admirers.
We've decided to keep the cat shaped gap filled up. We now have 4 cats...

Greyhave · 15/01/2023 18:46

Aww I’m sorry to hear that. It might help to collect her ashes and have a little ceremony where you bury them in the garden and can say goodbye.

Emilia35 · 15/01/2023 18:52

I had a cat who was like a child to me, only 6 when she got run over. Time does make it easier but the pain doesn't really go away when it's your soul cat and when they go in such a tragic way. I lost mine nearly 3 years ago and still miss her like crazy. I really loved cats before and people knew me as a crazy cat lady but I just don't feel the same way about them anymore, even though I have 3 now. I love them of course but they're not my soul cat.

Sending you my condolences through this difficult time. It absolutely sucks.

StarInTheHeavens · 15/01/2023 18:56

I had this last year, only through old age not an accident. I was devastated and I cried a lot. What helped me though was sitting at home with her dead body. I went through episodes of heavy crying and then just sitting quietly stroking her. After 8hrs I buried her. I think I did it hard but intense. I also got a nice photo to put by my bedside. Flowers for you OP

StrikeandRobin · 15/01/2023 19:01

I’m so sorry for your loss. Flowers
I too lost my beloved cat in a RTC. He was only young and I was devastated. I still miss my cat but, eventually, a new cat did help heal my heart.
Im so sorry. There is a memorial thread if you would like to add a picture and tell everyone about her.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_litter_tray/3965838-The-Litter-Tray-Memorial-Thread?reply=115986059

Original poster
Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 19:08

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it has brought me some comfort.

I have been trying to keep busy today cleaning my home, doing the usual Sunday chores. I was hoovering and dusting and her beautiful black fur is everywhere in my home, I couldn't bear to clean it.

It is coming in waves, I feel fine then it hits me again, I can't believe how utterly bereft I feel.

My family and friends have been very supportive. They knew how much we loved her.

She was such a massive part of our family. She was there when I got up in the morning greeting me, when I got home from work, she'd be so excited to see me.

I know she had a wonderful life, her every whim was fulfilled, but I thought I had many many more years to have her by my side, it's all just a terrible shock.

OP posts:
Willowcat77 · 15/01/2023 19:10

That's so sad, I'm so sorry. I'll never completely get over the death of my special cat George, who died 10 years ago. The only thing that helped was adopting another cat... and I deliberately moved to an isolated house in the countryside, far away from any fast roads. I now have 3 lovely cats who live an idyllic, safe life. I'll never forget George though.

Original poster
Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 19:11

StrikeandRobin · 15/01/2023 19:01

I’m so sorry for your loss. Flowers
I too lost my beloved cat in a RTC. He was only young and I was devastated. I still miss my cat but, eventually, a new cat did help heal my heart.
Im so sorry. There is a memorial thread if you would like to add a picture and tell everyone about her.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_litter_tray/3965838-The-Litter-Tray-Memorial-Thread?reply=115986059

Thanks so much x

OP posts:
Bichette · 15/01/2023 19:17

We had our beloved cat pts aged 17 a few years ago.
DH and I didn't really want to replace him but DC persuaded us to adopt a rescue cat after about 6 weeks and honestly it was the best thing.
We still miss our first cat but 2nd cat is so different, much younger and more playful that she has really helped us get over the loss.

Original poster
Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 19:21

Here is my beautiful little girl, Shaye.

Death of beloved pet, when will this pain go away
OP posts:
courgettigreensadwater · 15/01/2023 19:37

Oh wow. She was so gorgeous. We had a very similar looking cat who we had to pts at the age of 17. I'm sorry for your loss. They really are family.

Original poster
Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 19:42

I have been told we will get her ashes back in about 2 weeks. I am going to order a little memorial stone for her and place the ashes in her favourite spot under the bushes, in my front garden, were we spend many days in the summer months.

I have friends and neighbours over when it's a nice day, she always absolutely loved all the attention she would get from everyone. She would also get lots of tasty scraps lol.

At least I'll know she's close.

OP posts:
AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 15/01/2023 19:44

She is a beautiful girl OP, look at all that lovely fur and those gorgeous eyes. I am sorry she was taken so soon

Scabetty · 15/01/2023 19:45

She is beautiful. You are in shock so be kind to yourself. I am glad you can talk to family and friends. Grief takes time and is unique to each of us. Sending hugs (())

Original poster
Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 19:45

courgettigreensadwater · 15/01/2023 19:37

Oh wow. She was so gorgeous. We had a very similar looking cat who we had to pts at the age of 17. I'm sorry for your loss. They really are family.

I have DS, the youngest is 14 so she really was like my 'little girl'

I already miss her so much 😢

OP posts:
megacat · 15/01/2023 19:57

I could have written your post word for word a year ago when I lost my boy to the road.

I too was taken by surprise by the utter grief I felt.

In time it gets easier. Of course we all know this but it's hard to see it in the midst of grief. A year on and I think of him daily and miss him terribly but not like those first few weeks.

She was a beautiful cat. As others have said framing photos really helped me.

Tapitandunwrapit · 15/01/2023 20:04

Our cat Norman was run over 6 years ago and I still cry over him. He was a fluffy, loving cat and let my youngest dress him up and put him in her dolly pram! I think you just want them to know how loved they are and how much they meant to you. The love you have for a pet is so deep but you can never discuss it with them!!! Our pets are family but ones that can’t tell us they love us too 💐

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 15/01/2023 20:06

What a beautiful cat; I'm so sorry Flowers It will get easier in time, but you must allow yourself to grieve at first. You will find it all consuming to begin with, but the windows when you can think of other things and not feel sad will gradually get longer and longer, until eventually you reach a place where you can enjoy memories of the happy times you had together.

Mommabear20 · 15/01/2023 20:07

I'm sorry for your loss OP.
We lost our DBunny in 2019, I miss her every day! Some days are worse than others, but it does get easier.

Original poster
Cozzadelsol · 15/01/2023 20:08

megacat · 15/01/2023 19:57

I could have written your post word for word a year ago when I lost my boy to the road.

I too was taken by surprise by the utter grief I felt.

In time it gets easier. Of course we all know this but it's hard to see it in the midst of grief. A year on and I think of him daily and miss him terribly but not like those first few weeks.

She was a beautiful cat. As others have said framing photos really helped me.

Thank you for this advice. I have lots of photos and videos of her, she made us laugh with her antics, she was such a character.

She honestly thought she was the queen of sheba and would sit on our front fence observing her subjects. All of the neighbours loved her, even the grumpy, stand offish ones had a smile for her.

OP posts:
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