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Original poster

I'm feeling so disappointed with our newly adopted cat

50 replies

Sparkler · 22/01/2008 22:09

Bit of a change from my original thread title

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2340/460327?stamp=080120211705

We are on day 2 of our new found "friend" living with us. She has been settling quite well but there are been a few incidents of her hissing and biting. She bit DH the other day as he got a bit carried away with the fussing. She was loving him rubbing her head and her back, when he tried to rub her tummy she lashed out. I accidently stepped on her tail yesterday - so fair play she had every right to hiss at me .
The thing that's led me to start this thread is the fact that DD1 (8) was brushing her earlier and she was fine and enjoying all the fuss but she suddenly turned and bit DD on her hand. DD was very upset and said that she didn't want the cat anymore and wanted us to take her back.

We are now stuck in a situation and need to make some serious decisions. Do we stay calm and see how things go - it is early days after all or do we draw the line now and say enough is enough and take her back to the Cat Protection.

I'm feeling so right now. I would feel terrible if we sent her back to that place in case she never finds a good home and I feel that we were letting the Cat Protection down too.

OP posts:

redadmiral · 22/01/2008 22:36

I'd think about taking her back. I had a cat like this - she would be stroked for a while then turn on you, and there were areas she wouldn't tolerate being touched at all. She may calm down, but mine never got really better, and she wasn't safe around young children. If they cornered her as toddlers she would go for the face. DD1 still has a small scar just above her eye.

We now have two soft-as-butter cats and it's such a relief - I feel safe when the children have their faces near them, and when other children come to visit. I know people say it's in cats' nature to scratch, but there are some who I think would never attack.

She may be re-homed with an adult who will love her spiky temperament.

redadmiral · 22/01/2008 22:37

X-posted Connor.

boudoiricca · 22/01/2008 22:38

Sparkler, according to your previous post this cat has been at Cats Protection for 9 months. That's a long time for her to be living in a cattery without a great deal of human contact. She's probably a bit overwhelmed by the attention! Give her a break - back off for a few weeks and give her time to settle in and get to know you all.

WendyWeber · 22/01/2008 22:38

She's only been there less than 2 days, redadmiral!!!

redadmiral · 22/01/2008 22:39

Fair enough.

cazzybabs · 22/01/2008 22:41

I think this trait is a female cat thing - most female cats will tolerate you stroking them for a bit and then without warning "attack you". All the female cats we have had have done this - but female cats are more stay at home cats than male cats who tend to wonder. The thing is a cat bite is unlikley to leave you needing plastic surgery unlike a dog.

You could get another cat and it will do the same thing - they are cats - indepdent!

ConnorTraceptive · 22/01/2008 22:41

I have to say aswell that even with the most docile of cats I would discourage children from getting their faces near them, all cats have there limits.

Lets face it cats don't run at you and attack you for no reason, usually they are saying "feck off and leave me alone"

cazzybabs · 22/01/2008 22:42

BTW our vets advice for new cats is to leave them to come to you for affection.

smurfgirl · 22/01/2008 22:42

I think this is very normal cat behaviour - have you had a cat before?

Original poster

Sparkler · 22/01/2008 22:43

Our last cat was a female and she was really placid, loving little cat. Sadly she was put to sleep last year. After being used to having her around for 12 years, it's come as a bit of a shock.

OP posts:

cazzybabs · 22/01/2008 22:43

that is cats for you - you have 1 rule and then 1 comes and buggers it up!

Original poster

Sparkler · 22/01/2008 22:44

I shall definitely take on board the advice from many of year with regards to leaving her be - it is early days. She has done really quite well in the short space of time. Perhaps we are trying to do things too soon.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sparkler · 22/01/2008 22:45

*you (year??)

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 22/01/2008 22:45

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 22/01/2008 22:46

Message withdrawn

ConnorTraceptive · 22/01/2008 22:47

Oh keep her - please!

Once you get used to it it's great having a cat with edge

Except when they come home with part of another cats tail

FluffyMummy123 · 22/01/2008 22:48

Message withdrawn

WendyWeber · 22/01/2008 22:49

Thing is that you know why she's there, and that you want to love her and be nice to her, but she doesn't

She def needs time to get used to you all, and trust you.

redadmiral · 22/01/2008 22:51

All cats have their limits, but some reach them a lot quicker than others...

Depends what you want - a cat who is 'cat-like', in which case you can teach your children to keep them at a respectful distance, or a pair of inbred idiots like mine that the children can cuddle at will and who love all the human attention they can lap up.

Having had one of each before the children I made a conscious decision to get the soppy kind. (To an extent it's luck, but I was fairly sure they would be fine after talking to the breeder and they were.)

redadmiral · 22/01/2008 22:54

She is very beautiful though - she does look like my old mad tortoiseshell...

coby · 22/01/2008 23:12

all sounds very normal to me - esp for a female cat. This is what cats do....or they run off and won't let you near them

Original poster

Sparkler · 25/01/2008 16:16

Ok. Thought I'd give you an update. Things are going very positively. Sasha has settled much more over the last couple of days. She's allowing us to get near to her now without any hissing at all.
I've just been brave enough to pick her up for the first time and she laid on my lap lapping up all the attention.
Although she says she hasn't, I think DD1 has forgiven her for the little nip the other night too. I keep finding her in another room chatting away to her.
Looks like she'll be staying!
I took her for a check at the vets today and she is all fit and well. Vet said she does need to lose weight though and once she is allowed outside some of that should hopefully burn off. She weights 5.5kg when she should actually just be under 4kg.

OP posts:

Flllightattendant · 25/01/2008 16:23

I've had about 12? rescued cats, albeit some were 'fostering' rather than adoption, but still...some were like yours, nice for a bit then got nippy.
Some were downright vicious!

And some would never hurt a fly. The one we have had for the past 3 years (she is 8) has never lashed out - Ok, maybe mildly, about once a year if that - and that is despite having been quite regularly chased, hit and so on by Ds1 who even painted her once which is a whole nother story.

She is what I would call the perfect family cat, totally perfect. Very lucky to find her. TBH I would not want one that lashed out regularly.

The one we had when i was growing up would sometimes have a scratch, but we got used to what set her off and if we avoided those places she was fine - but I am a bit protective of my boys and I did always have cat scratches on my hands as a child!!!

Flllightattendant · 25/01/2008 16:24

Great news Sparkler - perhaps she was just nervous.

I hope it all works out well!!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 25/01/2008 16:25

I'm glad things have improved.

I was about to post that I have had my placid cat since he was a kitten (he is now 8) and if I tried to rub his tummy or brush him I would get a nip from him, so it's nothing out of the ordinary.

I have had to put one of our cats on a diet and it is surprisingly easy, so hopefully it will be for you too.

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