Complex family dynamics and a long back story (sorry). Both of my daughters have quite serious metal health problems which means we have very frequently had issues which include suicidal ideation, self-harm, social anxiety, eating disorders, recovery, therapy, relapse, runaways, grooming, reckless behaviour, agoraphobia, OCD. I'm not sure exactly what genetic/environmental cocktail led us here, but it is very often tough.
One of the few things that has actually helped has been our cats. The girls have found great solace in our cats, in a way they have been emotional support animals, without the label attached.
Sadly our first cat got terminally ill and died, breaking all of our hearts and traumatising the girls.
A year later we adopted a rescue cat, and it was magical. But once again it became "the only reason to live" during tough times and so on.
Without going into too much detail, some of those MH problems led my daughter to leave home then was persuaded to return.
As part of her returning to the family home, it was agreed that we would get a kitten. We then needed to follow through on that promise. I refused to get a pedigree after the health problem we had with our first cat. So we got a regular kitten off pets4homes from a lovely lady whose family cat had had kittens.
Right from the off there have been problems integrating the cats. My older cat (3 yo) is a rescue, very gentle and timid, and has learned to trust us over the past two years.
The kitten, a boy, is like Tigger. Always on the go, playful, sometimes agressively, curious, not very good at boundaries. My youngest daughter has essentially "raised" him and has spent a lot of time and energy keeping him, and the 3yo apart (as they otherwise hiss, scratch, chase and fight).
He's terrorised her to the point she won't even come in the house. She's stopped miaowing or purring and has spent the past two months outdoors except meals, even at night.
She's also incredibly jumpy, and has almost stopped being the cat we know and love .
I suggested we might have to get rid of the kitten, and am now being seen as Adolf Hitler in our house.
Am I being unreasonable to even suggest it?