my lovely kitty has been put to sleep

[Kerri28]

hello, i just wanted to share with you my lovely cat mulberry.

he was 13 years old and a red burmese. he was the most affectionate, funny, sensitive little chap an he has now gone

we only had him for 5 years (he was from a rescue centre) and since i had my baby 4 months ago he has been a bit sidelined

just after christmas he wouldnt come out of his cat bed so after 2 days of not eating or drinking we took him to the vets who kept him for 5 days and discharged him, said he was having mild kidney problems and needed to go on potassium supplements as the kidney troubles had led to potassium depletion and also to muscle wastage so he was all wobbly when he walked. he perked up a lot and i made special time for him in the evenings. the vet suggested his illness could be psychological so i felt terrible. he the collapsed on the kitchen floor and was unable to move, he just kept weeing himself . we took him back to the vets where he perked up and stayed for 5 days but vet said he has kidney failure and theres no hope.

the day he collapsed i had shouted at him to go away and leave me alone because i was very busy and stressed, and he was constantly demanding.

so dh and i went to vets on friday and vet brought cat to see us. he was sooo pleased to see us and seemed really well, but it was artificial because he had been on drips and short-term meds to get him this well. vet offered for us to take him home until he got ill again when we could have him put to sleep

we said this was not fair on poor old mulberry, we would only be keeping him alive to make ourselves happy and not for his benefit so we decided to go ahead and have it done before he became desperately ill again.

i just wanted to share this as it breaks my heart to have had him put to sleep when he was soo vibrant and alive-seeming. he was purring at the end as my dh sat with him (i am ashamed to say i couldnt be there i sat in the car sobbing)

i just feel so guilty like it was my fault he deteriorated

thanks for listening.

So sorry

Don't feel guilty.....sounds like he had a lovely home....kidney problems can occur in older toms.....nothing you have done / haven't done could have bought this on....

Find a nice picture and put it in a frame

So sorry

It wasn't your fault, don't blame yourself. It sounds like he had a fantastic loving home.

xx

Exactly the same happened with our Great Cat, Molly. She went downhill when DD1 arrived and she was suddenly being told to go away, get out of here, off the sofa etc. Eventually her large intestine ruptered and we had to get her put down. We were heartbroken and felt it was our fault for being 'unfaithful' to her and neglecting her. She had a long (13 years)and happy life tho and gave us so much pleasure. Oh, my eyes are welling up

Kidney problems are very very common in cats. You gave him a lovely safe home after who-knows-what he'd been through that had resulted in him being at the rescue home. He might have spent his last 5 yrs in a kennel but you gave him a proper family, for which he would thank you if he could. As for him being sidelined - I doubt he felt like that. Cats are very perceptive and he probably realised you had had a baby (a kitten!).
Don't feel guilty at all. 13 is a fine age, and you gave him a happy life. So sorry for your loss

thanks guys, rationally i know he had a lovely home and before i got pg (he hated me when i was pg!) he used to come into bed with me at weekends for an afternoon nap - not many people would have done that for him!! and he wasnt horrendously sidelined, dh would often have him on his knee - mulberry would worm his way onto someones lap if they were still for 5 minutes but i think its the grief, and the fact that he seemed so healthy when we made the decision, that makes me feel guilty.

shitemum, i'm so sorry for your loss and for making you remember her with such sadness.

littlemissnorty - thats a lovely idea, i'll dig out a nice one, think i have one from last christmas with him all tinselled up to make me smile.

think our dog might be in mourning (can dog do that? and how would dog know he'd died, when he's been out of house for a week anyway?) because she's very clingy and keeps looking for something . hope i'm just humanising her behaviour, it would make me feel even worse to think she's grieving too...

How awful and insensitive of the vet to say it was psychological b/c of your new child. I lost my dear 14 yr old cat in November, she also had kidney failure, my heartbroken DCs are 12 and 8.

Please don't blame yourself, you gave him love and affection when nobody else wanted him. He would have known that you loved him. Cats are clever like that, they stay with the people they trust.

When you have children your priorities do change and cats (especially) can adapt and given time he would have, b/c of his illness he was taken not b/c of anything you said to him.

Kerri - my thoughts go out to you. You so made the right decision for your cat. I had to do this for my dog about four years ago. I was a vet nurse at the time, and knew the score. I knew i could give him some extra time, with drips etc, but ive seen it so many times, they perk up and they deteriorate, quickly - i didnt want that for my boy. I too felt wracked with guilt, i mean, i should have noticed sooner surely? But these things creep up, the body compensates and we dont notice until its too late.

I still remember having him pts like it was yesterday, it was peaceful for him, but i felt so so bad, considering i could have tried another drip, but he just looked at me as if to say, please mum, i cant do this anymore The pain was physical, i wanted to scream at my boss to stop. I just sat up in bed for the whole night, and i felt like i wanted to die, so that i could give him a cuddle and keep him warm. I was much happier when i got his ashes home, strange, as now i have the box on top of the wardrobe and not sure what to do with it, sadly have a collection now

I still miss my big soppy old dog, he was my best friend. I remember the last long walk we had alone together. We walked for miles, got lost in the woods and ended up really knackered because we had to walk so far back. But we took lots of rest and he just sat next to me like a comfortable companion. We encountered two loose dogs, a doberman and GSD, i was thinking bollocks!! But Tiny just couldnt wait to play, so i let him off the lead and fortunately they were no longer interested in me. It wasnt so long after that i came home from work to find him looking really ill. I knew he was sick because we would normally have to fight to get back in the door and he just looked up from where he was laying. He had lost tons of weight, and i had put it down to his over sensitive tummy that he has had all of his life, but my friends at work were stunned when they saw him, i felt so bad, but i just didnt notice over the time it happened and he was fine and dandy in himself. He was old, in fact he had a good few years more than his quota for his breed. I have had two dogs since i lost Tiny, but he was my first dog, that was totally my dog - he used to sleep in my bed when DP wasnt living with me and used to sneak in when DP came up later. It was hit and miss whetehr DP would be allowed back in the bed.

Kerri, just try and remember the good things about your cat. He loved you and you did the very best you could for him.

Aaaw no. How sad Please don't feel guilty. It certainly wasn't your fault in any way, and you have been kind to him right down to the end.

Can understand how upset you are feeling though. x

My thoughts are with you - it is really hard. We had to make a imilar decision with one our our cats. I still think of him loads. Infact we have a picture of the two of them on our hall wall

just managed to pull myself together after reading the op and totally fallen apart reading lucyellensmum very moving post.....

i am so sorry for your loss, but i do think you did the best thing.... happy memories of a lovely cat...

i have had my dear grey tortioseshell cat for 11 years.... she has always been in dd1-10 life.. and they adore each other... both soundly asleep as i type (cat has a bed in dd1 room)

and recently i keep thinkin how sad it will be when she dies, as she has been the most wonderful cat , i actullay had 2 when dd1 was born but the other was aggressive to dd1, wheres as my cat has always been so perfect and gentle... she adores the summer sun laying on dd's trampoline, or on a window sill.....
no other cat would ever be the same for us....

(((LEM))). I'm so sorry about your dog. I had my cat cremated (didn't want to bury her in our garden, not in our forever house yet).

I went through yellow pages and got her done individually by a local pet crematorium. The guy who did it was great, really sensitive, didn't mind me blubbing at all.

I had an issue with my vet over how we had been treated so didn't trust the vet to do it individually, they had phoned me to say that my cat was well enough to come home and when me and DD turned up to collect her, I was told they had mixed up two cats and that mine was not coming home, the next day I had the call to say she had kidney failure. I lost all trust in them, I just thought, if they'll get her mixed up when she is alive, they're not likely to care when she is dead.

She is now in her favourite spot in the house.

jelly, thanks, it was over 4 years ago, so i can look back with a smile. He was an absolute star

Sorry to hear about your vet, really shoddy practise!