Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Original poster

Feel so trapped, looking for advice

14 replies

Chandos04 · 03/07/2022 00:03

Hello, really hoping someone may have had a similar experience and can help me. I have a cat that my partner and I rescued 6 years ago, when he was 2. We got him directly from the previous owner because we knew how awfully he was being treated. When we got him home he was super nervous, but over time became very friendly and loving. He was perfect, except he kept weeing outside of his litter trays. We tried every litter going, we gave him a tray in each room, we gave him trays of different sizes, shapes, covered and uncovered. We gave him places to hide, climb and play. We got feliway plug ins, we tried zylkene. At one point we gave him the entire loft just for himself, but within a few weeks the carpet was saturated in cat wee and we had to stop him going up there.
He does wee in his trays and he always poos in his trays, but he also constantly wees outside of them and, honestly, I’m at the end of my tether. We’ve spent thousands at the vets getting him checked out and they are 100% confident there is no physical issue causing the urination, it is definitely behavioural. He’s tried antidepressants but is still weeing. I’ve got a 14 month old girl and live in fear of her crawling into a puddle of wee that I’ve missed or sitting on one of the patches of carpet that stinks of wee from being weed on. We keep a really tidy, clean home and sometimes I come home and cry because all I can smell is cat wee and I’ve tried everything to get him to stop over the last six years. I don’t think we can rehome him because he has ongoing health problems that cost a fortune and realistically, who’s taking on a poorly cat that wees everywhere? Does anyone have any advice? I just feel so trapped and it’s genuinely affecting my mental health 😞

OP posts:
blardyblahblah · 03/07/2022 00:20

Hi Chandos, is he neutered?

Original poster
Chandos04 · 03/07/2022 03:05

Yep he’s neutered 👍

OP posts:
DeanStockwelll · 03/07/2022 03:32

I know the feeling , my cat was the same for about 2 years , I was actively looking for a farm / barn type of pace to take him on ,
he is quite aloof most of the time ( about once a week he will look for affection ) my home stunk i had tried all the spays / cat nip / plug ins etc . after a huge amount of effort I took to putting my own smelly ( worn ) underwear , t-shirts , socks etc wherever he pee'd so that I 'dominated' the space , it certainly isnt 100% proof about has improved things about 60%

DeanStockwelll · 03/07/2022 03:34

to add mine is a tom but cant be done as he has heart probs that could be life threating under gen antistatic

NutsandPuffs · 03/07/2022 03:59

Hi, this is such a difficult situation for you to be in, my sympathies.

when you say you tried antidepressants did you specifically try fluoxetine?

have you tried any veterinary prescription diets that combine urinary with anti anxiety features?

Is it an option to try him as an indoor/outdoor cat, see if that helps?

I am a vet and if you were my client and had tried everything and were electing for humane euthanasia I would completely understand and support your decision. It’s not the only remaining option but it is a valid option. Especially factoring in you wanting to keep your floor space hygienic d/t having a young child.

Sova · 03/07/2022 05:56

Hiya, does he just wee next to the litter trays or just around the house in random places. Or are these the same places over and over again? My cat often does a poo next to the litter tray even though I got her two very large trays. I think she does it in there as can smell it from when she did it last time and thinks that’s the place. It helps when I put puppy pads on there so she can’t smell it I think. So if it’s the same place then it a specific texture then you could work with it eg if it’s carpet he likes then put carpet of cut in the litter tray and a tiny amount of litter and then gradually increase. Also if it’s the same place then put a litter tray in there.
Put something over the last place where he weed and use enzyme type cleaner plus something antibacterial.
i think if it’s around the house in random places, I’d see if the cat could become an indoor outdoor cat or even try and built something for your cat outside like a chicken enclosure and only let him home at certain times.
but I agree with the advice above, if you feel you’ve tried everything then sadly maybe it’s time to say goodbye to the cat.
i hate the smell of cat urine and even old food etc. I got an air purifier which helps a bit as well but I know what you mean and my cat does wee in the trays

Original poster
Chandos04 · 03/07/2022 08:25

NutsandPuffs · 03/07/2022 03:59

Hi, this is such a difficult situation for you to be in, my sympathies.

when you say you tried antidepressants did you specifically try fluoxetine?

have you tried any veterinary prescription diets that combine urinary with anti anxiety features?

Is it an option to try him as an indoor/outdoor cat, see if that helps?

I am a vet and if you were my client and had tried everything and were electing for humane euthanasia I would completely understand and support your decision. It’s not the only remaining option but it is a valid option. Especially factoring in you wanting to keep your floor space hygienic d/t having a young child.

Thanks for the empathy, it really is so tough. I’m such a huge animal lover which I think is why I’m finding this so difficult 😞we’ve tried the urinary diet and it didn’t make a difference, he’s currently on a special diet anyway because he has IBD and a damaged liver, such a nightmare!

The antidepressant was Amitriptyline, we haven’t tried fluoxetine but I’ll definitely mention to my vet, thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chandos04 · 03/07/2022 08:27

Sova · 03/07/2022 05:56

Hiya, does he just wee next to the litter trays or just around the house in random places. Or are these the same places over and over again? My cat often does a poo next to the litter tray even though I got her two very large trays. I think she does it in there as can smell it from when she did it last time and thinks that’s the place. It helps when I put puppy pads on there so she can’t smell it I think. So if it’s the same place then it a specific texture then you could work with it eg if it’s carpet he likes then put carpet of cut in the litter tray and a tiny amount of litter and then gradually increase. Also if it’s the same place then put a litter tray in there.
Put something over the last place where he weed and use enzyme type cleaner plus something antibacterial.
i think if it’s around the house in random places, I’d see if the cat could become an indoor outdoor cat or even try and built something for your cat outside like a chicken enclosure and only let him home at certain times.
but I agree with the advice above, if you feel you’ve tried everything then sadly maybe it’s time to say goodbye to the cat.
i hate the smell of cat urine and even old food etc. I got an air purifier which helps a bit as well but I know what you mean and my cat does wee in the trays

It is honestly just random places! The only constant is if we ever leave anything on the floor (clothes, shoes, towel, bath mat etc) then there is a 100% guarantee he will wee on it. I did think about building him something outside but he’s such a loving cat I think he would be so lonely and miserable.

OP posts:
DesignerRecliner · 03/07/2022 09:28

I'd PTS. Something is clearly not right & cats hate being unclean. Also, I couldn't live in a house constantly smelling of cat wee.

I'm a cat owner and totally get how hard you've tried

spanishsummers · 03/07/2022 09:36

Have you considered confining him permanently to the room with the cat flap? And putting him outside immediately he has eaten?

Or you could try the tactic to train kittens-get then to a stage where the one solitary tray is placed nearer to the door, then outside it.

AnnaMagnani · 03/07/2022 09:45

Does he go outside?

I'm currently on my 3rd cat with weeing issues and this one has been the most difficult one to crack - like you we have done Feliway, urinary supplements, different sizes and numbers of trays, Zylkene.

What has finally sorted it is realizing the cat was asking, in a very weird way, to go outside. The more time she has spent outdoors, basically being a cat, the less weeing issues we have had. Previously cat was a home body who would gladly spend all day indoors.

Now she is fine 99% of the time but as soon as we hear a second trip to the tray we take her outside.

She is a very loving people orientated cat but she needed her brain engaged on cat things.

Original poster
Chandos04 · 03/07/2022 11:16

Thanks for all your messages. Yes he does go outside but he’s only ever out for around 5 mins then comes straight back in (unless it’s sunny and he’ll have a little sunbathe in the garden). My vet has never mentioned euthanising him as an option. I’m just worried I would feel so guilty if we did go down that route but as I said, both me and my partner really are out of ideas and patience now!

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 03/07/2022 11:42

Our problem cat was a bit like that in terms of the outdoors. She thought it was more fun/less scary with us but she was bored witless and inventing scary monsters.

It got better after a lot of throwing her outside in the garden.

Have you tried a cat behaviourist? Or reading the Vicky Halls books - these and Jackson Galaxy on Youtube are my bible for everything cat. I thought idiot cat didn't play but it turned out we were just crap at playing with her. After watching a video we now play with her and it's really built her confidence.

NutsandPuffs · 03/07/2022 13:40

I’ve previously had success using specifically fluoxetine (Prozac) for this issue in kitties, definitely worth a try!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page