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Guilt that goes with having a dog

5 replies

missminimum · 20/02/2022 18:38

Just looking for your thoughts. We lost our family dog 18 months ago. She was the only dog we have had and when she died I was very clear I did not want another. Other family members were open to having another but although she was a lovely dog and I miss her, I didn't miss having the responsibility. When at work, even though she had a walker, I felt guilty, if we left her with someone to go on holiday I worried about her. Even going out for the evening, made me watch the clock to ensure she was not left too long. She never had any seperation anxiety, it was me that did! My husband was out the house for long hours, so the responsibility fell to me ( and the children who were brilliant with her). I was the one who stayed with her for her final moments at the vets
Fast forward, we are both working from home, we have an young adult daughter still at home, my thoughts are turning to if we should have another dog. I know they would bring pleasure, get us outdoors more. I am concerned I would regret it (the rest of the family would be delighted to have one). I miss the good things of having a dog.
How long would other dog owners leave their dogs at home to go out? I never left her more than 4 hours
How do you get the balance between attending events without the dog and not feeling guilty?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 21/02/2022 21:15

We don’t leave DDog for longer than 4 hours
I don’t feel guilty if we go out because he isn’t left for long. If it’s going to be longer than 4 hours one of my lovely neighbours who he really likes will take him out and make a fuss of him.
If we are going on holiday he either comes or stays with his Auntie x (who he has known since a puppy and adores) or his Auntie Y (and uncle Z who lost their same breed dog a couple of years ago and who spoils him rotten)

Hoppinggreen · 21/02/2022 21:16

Sorry pressed too soon
It is a huge tie to have a dog though and although we love him we won’t get another one

missminimum · 21/02/2022 22:00

Thanks Hoppinggreen. We struggled to find people who would pop in or have her occasionally. There is a space she has left kn the family, but I don't miss thd commitment

OP posts:
JayAlfredPrufrock · 21/02/2022 22:07

4 hours is the accepted maximum time alone but if we go to friends for dinner it might be nearer to 5. But that might be once a month.

Yes they are a massive commitment but well worth it to my mind.

I once mused on here what people who don’t have dogs and horses do all day.

Tellthemagain · 21/02/2022 22:07

they are very restricting. but the love I find is worth it. we don't leave ours longer than 4 hrs either, unless it's an evening then we would say walk then leave him at 7pm, and wouldn't worry if we didn't get back til 2am as he would just be asleep for the night by then. so just ready for a quick wee whenever we got home.
I also feel eless guilty getting a second dog. although that has made it harder to find dog sitters..

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