Cat moved in with Neighbour - Advice please

[samforward]

A bit of background - there's a cat nearby that is very aggressive and has attacked our cat, Bobby, several times, we have spoken to the owner but they shrug their shoulders. We have a water-gun to scare the cat if it comes in our garden. Our cat is deathly afraid of this other cat, and is afraid to go through the cat-flap.

Bobby has started coming home less and less over the last few months. We added a tag to his collar with our phone numbers and received a call from a older gentleman living around 200m away across a main road, he's been feeding Bobby daily and in Bobby's defence he's probably much chiller at the other house not worrying about evil cat next-door. The gentleman lost his own cat recently and enjoys the company, but after asking him politely not to feed Bobby anymore because we don't want to encourage him across the road, he agreed not to. Since then nothing has changed, Bobby comes home 2 of 3 times a week and we can only assume he is still being fed by the same gentleman or has multiple homes. We've tried to have the whole conversation with him about the dangerous road, about who pays for the vet etc etc.

The gentleman doesn't want another cat as he likes to travel, at the moment he has the best of both worlds.

We are in a bit of a loss as to what to do, and would appreciate any advice!

1. Next time Bobby comes home, lock him in and cat-proof the garden. It's only 3m-4m, so very small, and i'm sure this would be a difficult process for him since he's a very outdoor cat. We have another cat that probably wouldn't even notice as she rarely leaves the house!

1. Get a bit more insistent with the older gentleman, although we want to keep things ok with him as he does have our cat round his house for 80% of the time.

1. Kidnap and release the evil neighbour cat in Scotland (joking...mostly).

Has anyone been a similar situation and has found a solution?

Is the bully cat neutered? It might be worth seeing if his owner will get him done if he isn't already. There are various vouchers available to help with the cost.

Otherwise I would go for option 1 - being a cat, Bobby is still likely to go over the busy road even if he's not getting fed, and it would be much safer for him to be confined to your garden. It'll keep bully cat out too. If you look at various cat enrichment options, there are plenty of things you can try which would keep him amused.

Option 1, I’ve had to do it a few times in my cats life as he is super friendly and people seem to want to adopt him!

Build a catio :)

It's a female cat, she rules the whole neighbourhood with an iron fist! She is spayed, and Bobby is neutered. I think you're right and we have to bite the bullet and cat-proof the garden, though we are going to have to put up with tantrums for weeks I'm sure.

We've tried to have the whole conversation with him about the dangerous road, about who pays for the vet etc etc.

I’m sorry OP I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been suggested, but I did read the above and think for half a second that you’d sat Bobby the cat down and tried to have a serious conversation with him about the consequences of his actions

@Snooks1971

We've tried to have the whole conversation with him about the dangerous road, about who pays for the vet etc etc.

I’m sorry OP I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been suggested, but I did read the above and think for half a second that you’d sat Bobby the cat down and tried to have a serious conversation with him about the consequences of his actions

Maybe she did?

@Snooks1971 haha we have had that conversation many times with Bobby directly also, but he never seems to listen.

Can't you let him continue to visit the old chap? They were both enjoying his visits there, from what you've said...or get a microchip cat flap?

What about option 4. Let the cat decide where it wants to live. If you want what's best for your cat sounds like being with the older man is preferable.

I'd speak to the bully cats owners again. See if there can be some sort of resolution reached with times of being let out but this is only viable if the she deviks owners are reasonable.

I'd look into protectapet fencing, it encloses your garden and stops any unwanted cats coming into your cats space.

It would slso be handy to keep the old gentleman on side too though incase you go away for a few nights, I'm sure he'd look after Bobby and it saves catteries.

Good luck OP

He's already said he doesn't want to take on another cat as he plans on travelling a lot, so he would only be feeding him but nothing else. It's all well and good now but if he gets sick/goes missing/gets injured we might not find out until it was too late. If we was willing to take him on properly we might consider it.

If this were my cat I would go and fetch it home and keep it indoors for the foreseeable.

Years ago we had a cat which disappeared every day for hours, and then returned home and we found out why. Another family were feeding it. They lived across the main road.
When the cat was killed by a car it was us who collected it and buried it and grieved over it.
They didn't because they were 'only feeding it'

Let the cat do whatever it wants. Cats are independent spirits.

It really annoys me when people feed cats that don't belong to them (and are clearly looked after and very obviously someone's much loved pet) People wouldn't do it with any other animal, so why they feel they can do this when it's a cat is beyond me. As previous posters have said, the owner is still the one that has to pick up the pieces, and pay the vet bill while someone else gets to enjoy the perks of cat ownership without any of the responsibilities. We had a similar situation with a cat a few years ago. She had various conditions that meant that she needed a special diet, however our elderly neighbour would insist on feeding her, and the poor cat would promptly come home with an upset tummy. We asked her to stop, and explained that she was actually making the cat unwell but she carried on until we presented her with the vet bill and explained that if she wanted to have the upsides of pet ownership then she would also have to take her share of the downsides. She stopped then.

OP - I would go for option 1 & 2. As lovely as it is that the elderly gentlemen enjoys your cat, it's your cat, and he needs to back off.

@Anordinarymum

If this were my cat I would go and fetch it home and keep it indoors for the foreseeable.

Years ago we had a cat which disappeared every day for hours, and then returned home and we found out why. Another family were feeding it. They lived across the main road.
When the cat was killed by a car it was us who collected it and buried it and grieved over it.
They didn't because they were 'only feeding it'

This exact same thing happened to my lovely cat. No matter how many collars/tags/pendants I attached to my cat - pleading 'Do not feed me, I have specific dietary needs' etc, etc, whoever it was ( I never found out, I live on a large estate ) simply removed them immediately and he came home with no collar each time. I was livid and did try keeping him inside, but it was torturous for him.He was used to his freedom and any other life was out of the question. Eventually, i got the call that he had been found killed on a busy main road. His collar had been removed again, but they traced me through his chip. He now rests in his own back garden..

Your neighbour is risking this happening to your own cat for his own selfish pleasure.Horrible. Best of luck Op🍀

I think it's your only option, given that the other gentleman won't take him on properly. x

Personally keep him in and cat proof the garden. What will happen when he goes travelling and the cat goes over and over to find no food so comes home for it instead. So much going over the main road is a risk. The man is being selfish.

@littlejo67

What about option 4. Let the cat decide where it wants to live. If you want what's best for your cat sounds like being with the older man is preferable.

That's all very well and good, but I'm sure OP is still responsible for vet's fees, cat insurance etc! The OP has stated that the guy feeding her cat has been asked not to, but still does, but at the same time doesn't want to commit to a cat of his own as he wants to travel. HE's the one in the wrong - and why should OP - a responsible owner - give her cat over to this guy who may then go on holiday leaving the cat totally confused?

Tell your neighbour that you're ready to transfer all costs to him. Insurance, vets plan, parasite prevention and transfer of chip. If he could just do it now please while you're there. Should put him off.

Do you know that the gentleman is still feeding him? If visiting him is part of your cat's routine, he'll still do it even if there's no food attached to the deal.

Our neighbour's cat moved in with us. We never fed, him, ever. But he still chose to spend most of his time in our house. In his case it was his owner's new baby that was the problem for him. When his owners moved away they asked if we'd like to keep him. So we did. THEN we fed him!

Keep him in and build a catio. The road is too risky.

Tbh I would rehome the cat through a rescue so that it is out of the area.

Truth is that the cat no longer wants to live with you because of the cat next door. Cats are independent creatures, and just because a man across the road stops feeding it doesn’t mean it won’t go further afield to find food rather than come home to you.

The man clearly is responsible as he called you to tell you where the cat was, so people being hard on him are unfair.

But if you live so close to a main road that even going across to a neighbour’s is putting the cat at risk then tbh you’re too close to a main road to have a cat and this is a disaster waiting to happen, and it won’t be the neighbour’s fault.

So I would rehome him to somewhere where A, he’s not so close to a main road, B, he’s not unhappy because of the treatment by another cat, and C, where he can continue to live an outdoor lifestyle to his heart’s content.

@saraclara

Do you know that the gentleman is still feeding him? If visiting him is part of your cat's routine, he'll still do it even if there's no food attached to the deal.

Our neighbour's cat moved in with us. We never fed, him, ever. But he still chose to spend most of his time in our house. In his case it was his owner's new baby that was the problem for him. When his owners moved away they asked if we'd like to keep him. So we did. THEN we fed him!

Same situation, different viewpoint! After baby arrived, our cat waited a few months to see if we'd get rid of the noisy, smelly addition to the household. When we didn't (and it started moving around, ye gods) he presented himself two doors down and to all intents and purposes moved in with them. They did feed him, but even if they hadn't, he didn't want to come to us anymore. They moved house a couple of months ago, and he went with them - with our blessing. He wasn't happy with us anymore 😔

You could tell the man who is feeding him he now needs a special vet prescribed (expensive) diet or he'll get very ill . We did this with neighbours who fed our cat ,they backed right off!