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Horrible Gaslight Experience at Vets

62 replies

soulandcats · 23/06/2021 19:01

I’ve been going through the week from hell after my normally very healthy and active but elderly cat suddenly became seriously unwell. She started vomiting, stopped eating, zero energy and her breathing became somewhat shallow and rapid.

I took her to her registered vet’s practice (first visit as I moved to the area several months ago) as soon as possible. One blood test later, the vet said that she was dehydrated with slightly raised liver enzymes. All other organs are in good shape and no diabetes, etc. Some fluid was injected under her skin, anti-sickness given and arranged for her to return the following day to receive IV fluids. My cat seemed a little perkier that evening and ate a full meal, but was still clearly not right.

I returned the following morning to drop off my cat for standard IV fluid therapy. At the end of the day, I made the journey to pick her up. She certainly didn’t seem any better; instead, she was noticeably worse. The vet came to meet me, a different vet who just so happens to be the founding director of the entire veterinary group.

He declared that my cat had “eaten a full meal” and that he was “looking at a very healthy cat!” I next asked why she had become so unwell, and he advised that it was “most likely her teeth.” He explained that the tartar on her teeth might have acted as a toxin and caused raised but nothing to worry about liver enzymes. Once again, I thought this sounded highly unlikely. I asked if it was possible to give my cat a scan of her abdomen.

Unfortunately, in my confusion, I said “CT scan” instead of ultrasound. I was next repeatedly told that they had “no provision to scan an animal.” The vet and nurse must have realised that I meant ultrasound but did not correct me as you would expect and came across as altogether disinterested. The nurse then said that “scans are very expensive”, even though I had made it clear that I had medical insurance for my cat. I began to wonder how I had managed to register my cat with a practice unable to create an image of small animal organs.

Due to Covid, all appointments took place publicly in the waiting area. Sat across the room was an elderly couple who had brought in their cat. This same male vet returned to brief the couple but said that he “couldn’t really examine the cat because she was hissing and scratching”, or words to that effect. I thought it was strange that he couldn’t call in a nurse to help hold the cat. The vet’s tone made it clear that he blamed the couple for their cat’s demeanour, and they looked bemused.

The following day, a Friday, my cat deteriorated further. Concerned, I phoned the vet again for an appointment, only to be told that no vet was at the practice. Another staff member has now advised me that this was ultimately “due to Brexit.” The only option I was given was to drive with my very ill cat for just under 1 hour to visit another one of their vet practices in another county. I failed to see how any part of this is acceptable and was clearly blamed for taking this stance.

The next morning saw the start of the weekend. I managed to get an appointment at 10:40 am for my cat. I arrived on time, to be told flatly by the nurse in reception, "oh, we were expecting you 1 hour ago." I knew that this was wrong, as I'm meticulous about putting all appointments immediately after phone calls in my hardback diary and phone calendar. My mother, who has been helping out with my poorly cat, also overheard the phone call and confirmed that it was categorically a 10:40 am appointment.

There was no apology, and I was left to sit there through 2 other people's appointments whilst my cat's breathing became increasingly shallow. The nurse then said, "why didn't you take her to out-of-hours?" in an accusatory tone. I explained that since the most senior vet in the building declared my cat to be "very healthy" a little over 24 hours ago, I was led to believe that this wasn't necessary. I didn't receive a reply on the matter and began to feel as though I was losing my sanity.

Finally, I saw a vet, who I once again had not seen before. I handed her a bullet point print out list of my cat’s symptoms, which I had compiled the night prior, as I was exhausted trying to fight. The vet examined my cat before admitting that she was incredibly unwell with severe jaundice and that if she doesn’t go to out-of-hours care, she won’t make it. Upset and beyond frustrated that the two other vets had failed to accurately assess my cat (you would have thought they’d be able to recognise a yellow cat), I was left with no other choice but to drive my cat to emergency care. By now, this was my cat’s 7th car journey.

Arrived at out-of-hours care to be met outside by a female vet who was incredibly on the ball from the start. She expressed great concern that my cat had been offered absolutely no pain relief throughout her ordeal and questioned why there was no scan or diagnosis. It was great to feel heard finally. To cut a long story short, my cat ended up requiring emergency 24-hour care for the next two and a half days and nights. It was very much touch-and-go, and her long-term prognosis isn’t great due to the ultrasound results, but for now, my cat is back home, eating, drinking and purring, with a healthy heart rate and breathing pattern. The emergency team went above and beyond; I cannot fault them and remain incredibly grateful and impressed.

The morning after collecting my cat from emergency care, I decided to register with another veterinary practice as soon as possible. The receptionist was very pleasant and showed great concern for my cat’s wellbeing. She advised me that I would receive a phone call from the receptionist at current vets to give my consent for my cat’s medical history to be passed across. At a quarter to noon, I still hadn’t been contacted by the vet practice and so decided to phone.

From the offset, the receptionist was incredibly curt and rude. I was at least expecting her to say something along the lines of “sorry this didn’t work out; I wish your cat well”, but no. There was no apology, and instead she started retorting, “you can think what you think” and “that’s what you think.” She was so bitter and evidently angry, I hung up the phone physically shaking with disbelief.

Within the next 10 minutes, I received a phone call from a staff member from another one of the branches to discuss my reasons for dissatisfaction. On this call, I learnt that in the notes made following my appointment with the senior male vet, the word ‘deteriorated’ had been used to describe my cat’s condition. At no point was this voiced to me; in contradiction, this was the same appointment I was told by the vet that he was “looking at a very healthy cat!” I can now conclude that this was flagrant dishonesty.

I took my cat for her first appointment with her new vets the day after being released from 24-hour care. The vet was fantastic, incredibly thorough, picked up on another condition that my cat was suffering from that the first vet practice missed entirely, and, importantly, seemed genuinely concerned about my cat’s health and wellbeing.

My experience of dealing with the first vet practice has been nothing short of harrowing. I have been gaslighted, brainwashed and vital information was not relayed, and as a result left with no choice but to take my cat to out-of-hours, leaving me with a bill that has wiped out my annual insurance cover. I'm still very much dealing with the aftermath.

Any words appreciated. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
soulandcats · 23/06/2021 21:55

Thank you @Callywalls. It's incredibly difficult, and you feel so powerless.

I'm really sorry to hear that @Barleysugar86. Sepsis is a particularly tricky one - often referred to as the silent killer. I hope that you can forgive yourself in time. I'm mad at the vet who discharged your dog on your behalf.

OP posts:
soulandcats · 23/06/2021 22:18

Terribly sorry to hear about your cat @jakeyboy1. No, not in the Midlands, but a veterinary group largely operating in Southern Central.

OP posts:
soulandcats · 23/06/2021 22:29

@Veterinari brilliant advice, thank you.

OP posts:
Duckiec · 25/06/2021 09:49

You haven’t said how old your cat is…. Elderly….10, 15 or 20 years old? I’m sure as an older woman, and I’m assuming that, you can appreciate the older you get, the more things can go wrong. Does it have a history of illness? It also sounds like you only heard what you wanted to hear… I’m sure that in the stress of the situation it’s hard to take it all in.

Why in this day and age, does everyone post a one sided story? Karen?
I don’t think people who work with pets every day all day would ever treat an animal unfairly, as they dedicate their lives to animals. You also need to think about the pandemic as changing how vets are running their practices to keep YOU safe, the STAFF safe so they can continue to treat our fur babies. Yes, COVID has hit all walks of life and businesses but it Has nothing to do with BREXIT that a vet wouldn’t be on site. Could be someone is isolating and they need to cover other branches.

I hope your cat is stable and you spend some quality time with it, instead of moaning all day long.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 25/06/2021 09:57

oh poor you and your cat!
that's no way to treat people & pets.
what a bunch of shitbags they are.

I can't read the other posts, but there must be a way to report them some sort of higher authority. they should be thoroughly inspected. their conduct with you was unacceptable!

thank goodness for the emergency vets!
hope you are both ok now xx

Sillyotter · 25/06/2021 10:26

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

oh poor you and your cat! that's no way to treat people & pets. what a bunch of shitbags they are.

I can't read the other posts, but there must be a way to report them some sort of higher authority. they should be thoroughly inspected. their conduct with you was unacceptable!

thank goodness for the emergency vets!
hope you are both ok now xx

I really hope you don’t speak to your vet like that. Comments like this are one of the reasons vets have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. There’s really no need to resort to name calling.
Kobayashi21 · 25/06/2021 10:33

Gaslighted and brainwashed? Tbh, you sound completely unhinged.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 25/06/2021 10:35

@FrankensteinIsTheMonster

Wouldn't leave a public review without a great deal of thought about whether it could be considered libellous (even if true).
If online reviews are truthful and an honest opinion they would hardly ever be actionable as libel.
CivilServant1234 · 25/06/2021 11:13

I think gaslighting is the right phrase having been through it myself with a rabbit. To cut a long story short we took him to a specialist vet as he was unable to eat and our local vet was unable to diagnose him.

We were told twice by the specialist vet that he had been eating fine as an inpatient and to take him home. At home he would not eat and was continuing to lose weight. Eventually we brought him back a third time and they diagnosed a blocked tear duct but he had lost so much weight he had to be PTS.

I was fucking lied to and more importantly, my rabbit was in agony unable to eat for about a week before he was PTS.

I didn’t complain but wish I did. My daughter has now qualified as a vet and she would never behave like that. Those that lie or misdiagnose on the basis of negligence should barred from the profession.

Hm2020 · 25/06/2021 11:27

I had A similar experience with my dog was told her throat was swollen when in reality she was having a massive heart attack and then when I eventually got her to a decent vet they didn’t want to pass over her information even when I explained she was dieing and they needed to know what had been done to her previously I really hope you put a complaint in I wish I had done as she only lived a year after on a cocktail of medication your total despair really comes through in your post and I hope your cats ok op.

BIWI · 25/06/2021 11:37

@Duckiec

You haven’t said how old your cat is…. Elderly….10, 15 or 20 years old? I’m sure as an older woman, and I’m assuming that, you can appreciate the older you get, the more things can go wrong. Does it have a history of illness? It also sounds like you only heard what you wanted to hear… I’m sure that in the stress of the situation it’s hard to take it all in.

Why in this day and age, does everyone post a one sided story? Karen?
I don’t think people who work with pets every day all day would ever treat an animal unfairly, as they dedicate their lives to animals. You also need to think about the pandemic as changing how vets are running their practices to keep YOU safe, the STAFF safe so they can continue to treat our fur babies. Yes, COVID has hit all walks of life and businesses but it Has nothing to do with BREXIT that a vet wouldn’t be on site. Could be someone is isolating and they need to cover other branches.

I hope your cat is stable and you spend some quality time with it, instead of moaning all day long.

Please don't use the term 'Karen' @Duckiec. It's horribly misogynistic as well as ageist. And absolutely nothing to do with this OP.
CyberGhost · 25/06/2021 11:48

@Duckiec

None of what you said is actually relevant to what the OP went through, Karen.

Plenty of vets can be assholes, just like medical professionals who are "dedicated" to saving human lives can be. Just because someone loves animals, it doesn't make them a nice person or good at their job.

soulandcats · 25/06/2021 14:30

@Kobayashi21

Definition of gaslighting:

"to gaslight refers to the act of undermining another person's reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or their feelings."

Seeing as the veterinary practice manager I'm dealing with is currently trying to rewrite history by insinuating that my cat received excellent care and that I'm the one at fault, yes, I'd call this gaslighting.

Gaslighting happens in everyday scenarios all the time. It is not the reserve of emotionally abusive relationships.

OP posts:
Kobayashi21 · 25/06/2021 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ScrollingLeaves · 25/06/2021 15:19

My first words are that I am so sorry. You must feel shattered and quite possibly traumatised by this experience and your cat may be too. Well done for persevering to the end and saving your cat’s life.

Secondly, I believe you. In my area there is a psychopath head of a vet practice.

ScrollingLeaves · 25/06/2021 15:30

“Duckies
I don’t think people who work with pets every day all day would ever treat an animal unfairly, as they dedicate their lives to animals“

That’s not always the way it works. Some people, especially with special ‘power’ in the sense that ordinary people who do not have the same knowledge over trust and rely on them, are dedicating their lives to themselves.

longtompot · 25/06/2021 15:32

I'm sorry to hear what your dcat went through. I'm glad they are on the med now, and hope the delay in diagnosis won't have any lasting affects.
I'm astounded (though shouldn't be really) at a couple of the replies on here. Best ignoring I feel.
There are compassionate vets and uncompassionate vets, we have encountered both with our dcat. Our first vets wanted to put him through all sorts of tests, when it was very stressful for him, and he was responding to his medication, which these numerous test all showed. It was when they wouldn't prescribe him any more medication which would have made him, well, die if he didn't have them, if we didn't let him have yet another blood test that we found our current vets. They looked through his history, and agreed to prescribe his medication as long as he was ok on it. If he deteriorated they would want to take bloods, which we have agreed to. They are the kindest people, and truly care about cats (it's a cats only vets)
Go through the steps people have mentioned and I hope you get this resolved very soon.

Veterinari · 25/06/2021 17:33

@Duckiec

You haven’t said how old your cat is…. Elderly….10, 15 or 20 years old? I’m sure as an older woman, and I’m assuming that, you can appreciate the older you get, the more things can go wrong. Does it have a history of illness? It also sounds like you only heard what you wanted to hear… I’m sure that in the stress of the situation it’s hard to take it all in.

Why in this day and age, does everyone post a one sided story? Karen?
I don’t think people who work with pets every day all day would ever treat an animal unfairly, as they dedicate their lives to animals. You also need to think about the pandemic as changing how vets are running their practices to keep YOU safe, the STAFF safe so they can continue to treat our fur babies. Yes, COVID has hit all walks of life and businesses but it Has nothing to do with BREXIT that a vet wouldn’t be on site. Could be someone is isolating and they need to cover other branches.

I hope your cat is stable and you spend some quality time with it, instead of moaning all day long.

I'm not really sure where to start with this incoherent uniformed and misogynistic diatribe.

I can only assume you're unwell

soulandcats · 25/06/2021 21:50

I'm so sorry for what you and your pet rabbit went through @CivilServant1234. It's just absolutely horrible, and I'm really angry on your behalf.

This is a big part of problem - do you trust the inpatient report when your pet's behaviour and exhibited symptoms once home says the polar opposite?

OP posts:
soulandcats · 26/06/2021 00:38

Thank you @Hm2020. I'm incredibly sorry about what you and your dog were put through. Nothing about it is OK. It's horrid to be in the position of begging a person with greater power than you to realise that your pet is dying.

OP posts:
LoveMySituation · 26/06/2021 01:02

I had awful treatment for my rabbit, and when I eventually managed to take her for a second opinion(in a city far away from our little town) their treatment was brilliant,and she was cured(after a year of repeatedly taking her in to my vets, and being advised to stop giving her hay-absolutely stupid advice for a rabbit).I complained about the treatment, and they had the nerve to criticise her treatment from the city vets. I will never go near them again.

LoveMySituation · 26/06/2021 01:03

So it certainly seems there are many crap vets out there. I'm glad your cat is getting better

Regularsizedrudy · 26/06/2021 01:07

That sounds like a really awful experience for both you and your poor cat. I really don’t understand why some vets are so bad, some practices just seem to develop a culture of complacency and superiority - they hate to admit their initial assessment is wrong and instead blame the customer.

soulandcats · 26/06/2021 14:28

Thank you, @Regularsizedrudy. I cannot stand the narcissism of blame-shifting. The practice manager is STILL blaming me for saying "CT scan" rather than ultrasound scan as I assess my formal complaint.

It's like being concerned that you may have symptoms of, say, MS, and going to see a consultant neurologist. However, through a slip of the tongue, you say, "please may I have a scan" rather than explicitly saying "MRI scan", and they refuse to help you, all whilst repeatedly blaming you for missing off those first three letters. Theoretically, it's not your job to even know which scan to request. It's laughable (except it's not).

We pay to see experts on the basis that they lead and take the initiative; otherwise, what's the point.

OP posts:
Clarice99 · 26/06/2021 14:48

What a horrible experience for you and your cat. I can totally understand your upset over this. When our pets are unwell we feel quite powerless and the way you were treated at the vet surgery was unacceptable.

You can complaint to RCVS

www.rcvs.org.uk/concerns/im-an-animal-owner-and-i-want-to-raise-a-concern/

I hope that your cat makes a full recovery and you are feeling okay now too Flowers

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