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*Sensitive post* Is it time to say goodbye?

5 replies

Magicalunicornsandthings · 20/05/2021 09:00

Hello everyone,

Our 12 year old Staffy has been deteriorating for around 2 years now. He has degenerative mylepothy which means his back legs give way under him/he has little feeling in them and he has lost all the muscle from his rear and back. This will eventually spread to his tail, front legs and eventually he’ll be incontinent. He’s probably 4 or 5 months away from that.

He also has myositis which has caused his head to appear sunken above his eyes. Again a similar muscle wasting problem that will eventually cause his muscles to become fixed and he won’t be able to open his mouth. He struggles to chew as it is.

He sometimes chokes on his food, the vet suspects he has a growth on his chest. He’s emitting an awful smell, the vet thinks it’s his kidneys or digestive system. My husband won’t have any investigative work done, he doesn’t think he’ll survive the anaesthetic. And knows they’ll find something.

He’s skin and bone, but when you stroke him you can feel a swelling on his stomach.

He wags his tail when you stroke him, he’s still eating and drinking. He has around 5 mins play time with our other 3 dogs a day, spends the rest of the time at the end of the garden or curled up in the corner of my husbands office. He won’t get up to come for a treat. That’s too much hard work.

He can’t stand for long, his back legs end up doing the splits.

He takes an anti inflammatory once a day, which really helped to start with he had a new lease of life, but we’re back to how he was before even with them now.. only 1 month later.

I’m also worried that one of my children are going to hurt him and he’ll snap (which he did once before we got him on this medication) .

I think it’s time to say goodbye, and my husband is agreeing but doesn’t want to make that decision. I feel like we’re playing God. But we can both see he’s just ‘existing’. I think he probably has a few months left, but I don’t want to leave him too long. He’s the alpha in the pack of 4, and a very strong dog, so I expect he’s struggling more than he’s letting on.... If it was my little Pug I don’t think she’d still be here.

Google doesn’t help much when it comes to googling if it’s time or not. The vet won’t pass comment but has been saying for 2 years we need to think about it.

My husbands previous Staffs have all had cancer younger than this and he could see what was wrong and knew how it was going to go and it made the decision easier somehow.

Any advice from someone looking in from the outside without the emotion attached would be great. Thank you.

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 20/05/2021 09:15

I think you know that the best thing would be to let him go, and I know that it is awful to make that decision, but does sound like he's having a shit time and he's not going to get better.

You are not going to avoid having him put to sleep, and it is going to be a totally shit time whenever it is, but you are just delaying it to save yourself the heartache, and he is suffering while you wait. He has trusted you to look after him and do the best for him his whole life - don't let him down now.

Flowers
AlmostSummer21 · 20/05/2021 09:21

Sadly I think it is. He'll be in a lot more pain than he's letting on. There's no chance of him getting better

It's incredibly hard (been there several times) but if you live him, do what's best for HIM & that's a lot of cuddles, a lot of treats )delivered to him) & then a nice big sleep while you hold his paw🐾

Big love, you're doing it FOR him, not to him xx

SoapboxFox · 20/05/2021 09:24

Sorry to hear this, but I think it's time, yes.

Touloser · 20/05/2021 09:26

Yes - I'd say it's time.

As a comparison I also have an elderly dog with cancer and mobility problems, but today I don't think we're at 'that' stage because: they enjoy their short walks, ask to go out, and will run and play in short bursts; they potter around the house and garden, and will get up to come say hello, watch passers by and greet neighbours; although they are sick more often, and sometimes lack appetite, they're still begging for bits of my breakfast and getting VERY excited about dentisticks, so aren't too skinny. Once any one of those things changes, we'll have to make the hard decision.

I think you're correct - your dog is just existing right now, and that's not fair.

Magicalunicornsandthings · 20/05/2021 09:52

Thank you everyone for the honest words. When I read my post back I’d answered my own question really but you have to have an opinion from someone not attached to the situation really.

@Touloser I’m sorry to hear your dog is unwell, but he sounds like he’s still enjoying life which is great. So to compare, he won’t run, won’t play with a toy, wouldn’t give a thank you for a dentastick. He sometimes refuses food but he does go mad for red meat.
He will greet visitors and gets terribly excited and steals a shoe but slips all over the place. He just wants to be loved.
He was going to doggie day care with the others once a week but comes back exhausted and has to recover over the weekend. He is so upset when we don’t let him go tho, so we did last week because it felt kinder than leaving him out.. although he does love having my husband to himself.

I couldn’t live with myself letting him get any worse than he is, he needs to keep his dignity.

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