[sad] Thinking of taking our dog back to rescue centre today [sad]

chocolatemummy · 2007-10-21T11:04:35+00:00

been posting on another thread all week that someone else started but gradually as the week has gone on he has got more and more difficult. I have been sitting her crying on and off all morning I just dont think i can manage him and dh and dd are away so best time to take him back and avoid the goodbye thing as much as posss

cazboldy · 21/10/2007 12:05

what is the problem?

susiecutiebananas · 21/10/2007 12:07

not seen the other thread so i'm sure all this has been said, but have you considered going to a dog trainng school? a friend of mine had a really troubled rescue dog, it had been terribly abused. it took a lot of hard work, but they did manage to get there in the end.

poor you, and poor dog, he cant help it i'm sure. its so difficult I know, but ultimately, you have to do whats right for you and your family.

twinsetandpearls · 21/10/2007 12:08

what sort of dog is he?

Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:09

he is a lovely dog and has been very goopd lot of the time but we both work full timre and he is not coping with being left alone despite me coming home everyday (which I wont always be able to do)
he is so big and still behaves ,ike a puppy an its dangerous as he playfights and bites which has had my dd and newphew in tears, he has managed to learn how to open the doors inside the house so am worried about the cat now as he tries to get to her, I left him downstairs for 20 minute this morning whilst i had a shower and he went mad barkng and ripped uo cushions and dd toys, depsite over 2 hours of walking him yesterday he still needed more attention and exercise

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themildmanneredaxemurderer · 21/10/2007 12:11

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Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:12

yes we have already taken him to one training class and were going to take weekly, in alot of ways he is very good but just so big and needs so much attention and dont think we can give him that as work full time and have 3 year old and my dh is trying to study aswell, I have shut him in the garden now and he is jumping up bangin on the door to come in, he hates being left outside but I just need s break from him as he just bit me and wrecked the cushions etc and I feel overwhelmed by the repsonsibility

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Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:13

yes we have already taken him to one training class and were going to take weekly, in alot of ways he is very good but just so big and needs so much attention and dont think we can give him that as work full time and have 3 year old and my dh is trying to study aswell, I have shut him in the garden now and he is jumping up bangin on the door to come in, he hates being left outside but I just need s break from him as he just bit me and wrecked the cushions etc and I feel overwhelmed by the repsonsibility

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themildmanneredaxemurderer · 21/10/2007 12:14

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Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:14

we were planning on keeping him the garden during the day in the garage with a bed and food and free reign on the garden amd I can come home most days to see him so never been left more than 4 hours but he hates it in the garden but when in the house he wrecks the place and goes for the cat

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themildmanneredaxemurderer · 21/10/2007 12:15

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Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:17

we are more than happy to give him a good long walk every day and have really enjoyed that as a family, we have had a cat for 14 years, he is very loved by all of us and we really wanted him but just didnt realise quite how muh attention he would require

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RGPargy · 21/10/2007 12:17

I agree that you shouldn't have a dog if you are working full time. It's not fair on the poor thing. Dogs are very social and dont like to be left alone for that amount of time. Cats, on the other hand, really dont give a toss if you're there or not.

If DH and DD are away and it really is too much for the family to have him, then do the right and take him back. Let him get re-housed by someone that can handle an attention-seeking dog like yours.

Dont beat yourself up about it either. You have to look after yours and your families needs first.

Good luck.

Freckle · 21/10/2007 12:17

The problem with rescue dogs is that you don't always know their background. He is clearly distressed at being alone and has bitten you.

If you work full-time and can't arrange for someone to come in several times a day to let him out and spend some time with him, then you are being unfair on the dog by keeping him.

If you do want to keep him, have you thought of investing in a dog cage/crate? Put his bed in there and he will recognise it as his space, then you can put him in there when he needs to be alone, whether that is because you have gone out or because you need a shower.

Also, has he been neutered? If not, neutering can often reduce aggression and boisterousness in a dog.

Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:19

no not in winter and we haven't left him outside for one day as he doesnt like it, we were leaving him in the back room (with wooden floors and easy to clean etc) bought him a great big bed ifront of the radiator which he does like but he just doesnt stay in it for for more tha few minutes and starts jumpimng around biting things and people!

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RGPargy · 21/10/2007 12:20

Seems like an awful lot of hassle tho freckle, to put him into his cage just because CM wants a shower or to have a long poo! Pets are supposed to be an addition to the family in a nice way, not a complete pain in the arse that stresses everybody out. What's the point in keeping a dog that you're going to resent because he takes away alot of your freedom?

IMHO i would just take him back.

Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:22

several people have mentioned a cage but i think he is too big and tis not fair. he is neutered and he is very affectionate and loving and is only playing when he bites but it hurts,he is so gorgeous but I do think he deserves a better home than we can give him, its just packing all his thing up and actually taking him back , As soon as i catually started to think about doing it I just start crying, especially as my dd will com home this evening and be looking for him

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cazboldy · 21/10/2007 12:23

hi. have read the other thread now. what made you decide to get a dog in the first place? more to the point why did they not look into your situation more carefully?
I have never had a rescue dog, so don't know the procedure, but was under the impression that they looked into circumstances quite carefully???
It's probably not a good idea to leave him all day, and he will more than likely chase your cat, because he is bred to chase things!
I don't want to criticise, but think you maybe should have thought things through a bit more.

Freckle · 21/10/2007 12:23

Well, I agree. In the OP's situation, I would never have dreamt of getting a dog, but I only offered the crate suggestion if she really wanted to keep the dog.

Freckle · 21/10/2007 12:26

We have two rescue dogs. The first we got over 4 years ago from one animal sanctuary. They didn't ask us any questions and let us take the dog almost as soon as we'd seen him. They did indicate they would come and do a home-check, but they never did.

The second we got 3 weeks ago from a different animal sanctuary. I had to fill in a detailed questionnaire about our family and home circumstances and they insisted on sending someone to do a home-check before they would let us take the dog. They also do follow up checks in 3 and 6 months' time. They do try to ensure that the person taking the dog is able to offer the right home and environment for the animal.

We have been very lucky in the both our dogs are absolutely fantastic, but we have been and are in a position to offer them the right environment.

Original poster

chocolatemummy · 21/10/2007 12:34

they did a home chck and we have a lovely garden and like I said, ai do work flexible hours and can come home pretty ofetn and have done everyday so far but even leavng him for 20 minuteds whikst in the shower was too long today,
I have called the dogs trust now and they have told me to bring him back today becasue of his agresseive behaviour
so that that I guess, crying now so going to spend half an hour and have a cuddle etc and them take him back, feel shit

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RGPargy · 21/10/2007 12:44

CM, dont feel bad about it. You'd feel worse if he ended up biting your DC would you?

chin up!

elastamum · 21/10/2007 12:50

Really sorry to hear about this, but he does sound like he is not the dog for you. Most dogs dont like to be left for more than an hour or two. Also the playfighting etc sounds like he has not been properly socialised before you got him, also destroying things is usually a sign or boredom / stress. We have a large labradoodle who is an angel but will rip stuff up if she is left in with not enough exercise first. She needs about 1 1/2 hours exercise a day. Fortunately I work from home but she goes to daycare if I am out all day. It is tough but far better to take him back now than let him get worse, develop more bad habits and have to get rid of him later.

Freckle · 21/10/2007 13:23

It does sound as though you've made the right decision. And, believe me, I do know how awful you feel. I had to rehome a labrador once. We'd had him from a pup but his destructiveness started to cause a huge rift between me and dh (who is not a dog person). Eventually I had to decide between the dog and my marriage. I chose to rehome the dog (although at times wonder whether I should have rehomed dh!), but felt absolutely dreadful and was completely distraught.

I do feel it was the right decision for the dog too as he was rehomed with a couple who had no other distractions (I have 3 children who were very young at the time) and absolutely doted on him.

lucyellensmum · 21/10/2007 14:46

chocolatemummy - i am really sorry to hear your story. I am Very on your behalf, and your dogs. The dogs trust were wrong to home that dog with you, based on your circumstances. They have caused you a great deal of distress and i am shocked that they have done this. We tried to get a dog from them about three years ago, and they wouldn't give us the time of day, despite me being a v experienced dog owner and a veterinary nurse. They even turned away my friend who is a vet! We rehomed a dog from battersea who came with problems but they were with us every step of the way, and after about six months of stress we ended up with a lovely dog. The main difference being we didn't have small children.

Your dog sounds like a normal adolescent dog to me, a cage may have been a good bet as i cage trained my puppy and it does work, although i dont have any experience of cage training with adult dogs so cannot comment. Was you given any advice on how to cope with the separation anxiety and the OTT play? I would be extremely angry if i were you because they did not give you the right dog for your family. To be fair it does sound like a dog is not a great bet with everything that is going on just now. To be honest i dont have a problem with the dog being left (i used to leave both of my rotties all day, not ideal but my parents used to take them out during the day for me), but this dog did not sound like it could cope with being left.

As people have already stated don't beat yourself up over this, i think the fault lies elsewhere. It is all very well doing a home check, but anyone can have asuitable garden, it is more about whether that particular dog suits your lifestyle. Can i ask if you have owned a dog before?

lucyellensmum · 21/10/2007 14:48

I do totally agree with the others, it is not worth the risk with a small child. Your dog will find a new and more suitable home, he wont fret as much as you will, he just wants a comfy house, someone to play with and take for walks, that could be you or his new family. So dont worry for the dog, you are doing the right thing.