Should I get a dog if my boyf is against it?

[Warrior93]

I know this question has been asked before, but most posters have husbands or partners who they actually live with.

I’m in a LDR with my boyfriend. We’ve had a rocky relationship, but have been together for 2 years. He has a complicated situation and lives quite a nomadic lifestyle. We take it in turns travelling to see each other.

I have my own house, garden, a good job etc. I’ve wanted a dog since forever and grew up with them. Very active etc. I have an opportunity to get a whippet puppy and am 100% up for it, except that he hates dogs.

He hasn’t told me I can’t do it, but I know that I will not be able to bring the pup with me when we meet up at his, because he won’t want it in his space. So it will mean either finding someone to look after her, forcing him to accept her, or not staying at his anymore. Which does seem a bit harsh. I know I’ll be a great dog mum, and I live alone and only see my BF a couple of times a month, so it seems like a big sacrifice to make proportionate to how often I go to his.

All of my friends say I should get the puppy and that if he really cares about me, he would try to get on board with it. I think it would be very different if we lived together. My point is that it’s my life, but if I’m basically not going to be able to stay overnight at his and bring the dog with me, it’ll be really inconvenient.

Any advice appreciated!

less about the boyfriend and more about the job. Do you have the time to put into a puppy. Do you not think maybe an older calmer dog that can be left might fit in to your life better?

By getting the dog you're essentially deciding that either your relationship is not a long term, moving in together, building a life and home together kind of relationship, or that forever more you'll be in a LDR with him.

Because if he doesn't want to live with a dog he's not going to just change. In which case just split up with him and get the dog.

I know, I’m a big animal lover and he isn't and it causes problems. Just to add to it, I also don’t eat meat and will save wild animals and stuff, and he is the complete opposite. The truth is, I probably see a medium term future with him, not a long term one. But I’ve probably gone off the whole concept of marriage, kids and happy families anyway...
As for getting an older dog, that was 100% what I was planning on doing when I was working in the office full time, though it is difficult to rescue when you work. But I’ve now got a flexible work arrangement so have a window of opportunity to get a puppy and raise it to fit my life etc. I mean, I really have no excuse not to be able to look after something - single, house, decent income, hardly ever go on holiday, outdoorsy.

But yeap, the dog thing is probably a major incompatibility, and maybe it will be a catalyst for us moving on from each other...

my teensy wee dog is my buddy.. we walk beaches and woods galore together... she's my best friend 💕

Get the puppy This opportunity to train a puppy won't come round again, all this time of Covid lockdowns and WFH

BF isn't a keeper
So meh, seeing bf fits in or not with dog... you won't care after a while

Expecting to see pictures of your lovely whippet pup sometime soon, please, OP.

Not very helpful but whippets are the absolute best! We got one two years ago and he is the most affectionate, cuddly, playful dog I've ever had. If you get the pup be prepared for it not liking kennels - whippets can be very sensitive - home boarding etc are better. Remember you likely won't be able to use these while it's young and not spayed / neutered and when it's very young.

I went to see the puppy yesterday and it hasn’t really helped! But my boyf has come to see me this weekend and is being very irritating, so I’m tempted to just get the puppy and let the cards fall where they will...

And thanks for the pro whippet vote, I know, they’re lovely and would suit me I think. Plus a great way to meet new people!

Oh and it wouldn’t be kennels, it would be proper boarding in a person’s house :)

I think it’s quite telling that your friends tell you to get the dog, I would take that as a sign they think the dog will bring you more happiness than the boyfriend.

I'm not a dog person but you clearly are and getting a dog seems very important to you, so
I think it you have a partner they should also be a dog person or at least willing to tolerate a dog. If the relationship was great and you were compatible in every other way, you might consider sacrificing dog ownership for the sake of the relationship, but that's not the case here.

LTB, no point wasting your time with someone when there's no future, not unless you want to keep it very casual, but what's the point when he irritates you?!

Hi all, just wanted to update you and thank you for your advice again. Basically, I reserved the puppy and she’s arriving at the end of November! I had a horrible weekend with my boyfriend and that tipped me over the edge and made my decision much easier. I’m going to go with the flow and enjoy my new buddy and see what happens with the boyf. You’re all right about his nomadic situation, and it doesn’t look like it’s changing any time soon, so there’s really no sense in putting my life on hold while he gets his together.

Thanks again for the advice, it really helped

I think you've made the right decision

Ooh, yay! Look forward to seeing your puppy pics sometime. The Doghouse board is full of people who know what you’ll need to know.