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Original poster

expecting a baby, lovely but clingy burmese who screams if I nap in the day....

26 replies

AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 13:18

I really don't know what to do about my burmese cat.

I am expecting a baby in March and am really worried about what to do with the cat.

He currently: sleeps in the bed, wakes us up when it gets light by "screaming" AND "screams" when I nap in the day.

He is very clingy and dependant but also very stuborn and I am worried that if we shut him out of the bedroom (due to baby being there, he will simply scream all night. Also worried he will wake the baby (and me) up if we nap at all in the day.

We tried to give him to a very good friend of ours who is a real cat person. He refused to eat, drink or use the litter tray for 3 days, then wet himself all over our friend and scratched him. The friend brought him back as he was worried he would damage himself.

He is now absolutly fine and happy again, but has "won" so will be even harder to rehome again.

He is also a very, very timid cat (though he thinks he isn't) so doesn't deal well with new people/situations.

Any advice? Please!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 14:25

Bump. Anyone?

OP posts:
Yorkshirepudding · 12/10/2007 14:26

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 12/10/2007 14:27

When the baby is born you will not give a toss about the cat

is my opinion

you will also want to kill anything that wakes you up when you are sleeping

I would get the cat used to staying downstairs at night or when you are napping during the day, or locked in one room

I have a VERY noisy cat but after a few days of this they will get used to it

MellowMa · 12/10/2007 14:29

Message withdrawn

CarGirl · 12/10/2007 14:30

our adult rescue cat (somali so also very b***g noisy)cried for the first week of shutting him in the kitchen at night but now he is fine with it and it has turned him into a more "normal" cat as opposed to neurotic pedigree ex-show champion pedigree.

gingerninja · 12/10/2007 14:32

I second what morningpaper says. My cats are sooooo irritating now. I half wish I could get rid of them them DD now loves them. I'd start encouraging some distance between you.

morningpaper · 12/10/2007 14:32

You need a book about controlled crying for cats

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 14:33

Yorkshire pudding, its more that he thinks he's entitled to be in the bedroom, and SCREAMS if he he locked out/he feels we are not paying enough attention. That said, I think its a really good idea to talk to the vet.

Morningpaper. Absolutely agree, won't give a toss about cat - we do lock up up whenever he screams, but he will then scream and throw himself at the door until we let him out (once did this for 8 hours!)

Its also about if its really fair to him, given how dependant he is, thats why we tried to rehome him, which unfortunatly spectucularly didn't work!

OP posts:
Marina · 12/10/2007 14:34

I'd rehome it now to be honest
We are a happily pet-free home until the children are old enough to help look after anything with more than two legs
I've never liked needy cats though

slayerette · 12/10/2007 14:34

It sounds hard but I agree with mp. The cat will just have to accept its new place in the family hierarchy when the baby comes because once you have him/her you will not tolerate any bad behaviour from the cat!

I think you need to introduce a new routine now so that you are not struggling with the cat and the new baby at the same time - the cat needs to be taught to sleep downstairs at night and put out during the day when you need to nap - if it's not in the house, it won't know you're napping! It definitely needs to get used to not being the pack leader which it seems to be at the moment.

When ds arrived 4 yrs ago, our cat moved out! and now lives in the garden shed, popping in to visit us when he feels like it!

MellowMa · 12/10/2007 14:37

Message withdrawn

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 14:38

Mellowma - absolutly have to deal with it before baby comes - thats why tried re-homing him.

Will try the locking him out of the bedroom for a few days and see if he settles down, but he is sooooo stuborn (see the not eating drinking etc for three days) so not sure how well it will work.

We are in London and he is around 3.

Cargirl - thats really reasurring, thanks. Think we will have to bite the bullet and do it. problem is he is used to sleeping in the bedroom, so thinks he is entitled.

Gingerninger - thanks, will have to go for it.

Morningpaper - HAHA - or just CV!!!! I am sure she has a solution!

OP posts:
MellowMa · 12/10/2007 14:39

Message withdrawn

MellowMa · 12/10/2007 14:40

Message withdrawn

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 14:41

Marina - we did try - but he wouldn't eat/drink or use litter tray for 3 days, new owner was worried he would hurt himself and brought him back.

Slayerette - we are currently in a two bed flat, so can't put him that far away (or outside as on fourth floor) Are in process of buying a house, so should be easier then. Agree totally that it has to accept new place in pack, just not sure how to go about it.

Mellowma - he has been spayed, he is show quality, but so timid would HATE being a show cat, so am reluctant to give him to anyone who would do that.

OP posts:
FloriaTosca · 12/10/2007 14:48

I agree; get firm NOW!
No need to rehome, just start distancing yourself a little. Definately shut him in the kitchen/somewhere suitable at night (where the screaming wont disturb you)and do the same if he tries it on when you are napping. There is no need to withdraw affection completely, just insist that it is on your terms not his. And one of those pheromone plug ins from the vet might help him adjust (they release the pheromone that a nursing cat gives off which reminds them of being a kitten and helps them relax)
...we had to do this with our dog 6 months ago when I was pregnant, he didnt like losing his centre of attention position in the household but gradually accepted the new rules and I must say is now a lot calmer and easier to live with...especially now we have a 2 week old baby in the house.

Good luck with whatever new regime you decide on.

Marina · 12/10/2007 14:49

I'm being hard about this Angua (huge congrats on the pregnancy btw, so pleased for you ). If a cat was this much work, this time I'd rehome it with the CPL, who'd be experts at gently helping the cat be rehomed successfully, and not ring you up to tell you he was playing up.
Gosh, I don't hate cats really. I do think they are not good round babies though.

gingerninja · 12/10/2007 14:57

Just a thought but I think that Claire Verity is looking for extra work

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 14:58

Floriatosca - thank you for your story, its reasurring to know that it has worked for other people.

Marina - I am nervous about the cats around the baby (also have a lovely moggy who is nice and calm and placid) Will look into the CPL!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 15:00

Gingerninja - she is perfect for this job, but £1000 a day seems a bit steep!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 15:00

Marina - thanks on the congratulations - very pleased.

OP posts:
Marina · 12/10/2007 15:10

Moggies ideal IMO. Just as mongrels often make the most reliable pets for children.
We grew up with a Siamese/feral cross whom we all loved to bits, but she didn't arrive until I was seven. I am biased in that a friend has a Birman who rules her life^. In her own home . If it's not happy with the room service, it craps on her pillow! (No children in the house though).

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 12/10/2007 15:18

Marina

ours is not that bad, has never been allowed to be that bad - its just becoming more of a problem as I start napping in the day, sleeping later in teh mornings etc - but do recongnise that he thinks he is top cat, adn will HAVE to learn! BEFORE the baby comes!!!! (or its CPL)

OP posts:
Mojomummy · 14/10/2007 19:41

The cat will be fine with the baby - as long as YOU are responsible.

The CPL are FULL of cats being rehomed because of feeble baby excuses & it makes me mad.

What you need to do is take control & within a week or 2, problems should be resolved - of course ask your vet for advice, but please don't expect someone else to pick up the pieces.

Good luck to your cat.

salsmum · 17/10/2007 09:30

I think the best thing for anxiety in pets is if you sleep in an old t shirt and then put it in the cats bed, then he/she will have the 'scent' of you with it to sleep on an it'll make it feel less worried.
My cat used to have this cuddly toy dog that she used to kneed and suck when she wanted to sleep.
you may also consider getting a pen for the cat to sleep in you could put the tshirt in there.
I don't know too much about pedigree cats but do know that some can be quite 'vocal'.