Will my kids hate me if I rehome our kitten?

[Kittythekitty]

I mentioned before that I have a bad allergy to our new kitten (she’s 4 months old).

My kids are 3 and 5 and are so smitten with her.

I go from deciding she’s being rehomed to feeling an extreme sense of guilt and changing my mind. Will my kids forever hate me if we have to rehome her due to my allergy?

I’m very gentle with them on the topic and have discussed in length that mummy is unwell with her.

Help me decide :(

I think I’m mildly allergic to ours. We went away for 3 weeks over the summer and I had quite bad symptoms when we returned home to the cats but these have slowly worn off after exposure. How long have you had yours for?

Saying that, I would not be up for long term antihistamine use for a pet.

Why did you get a kitten and not a cat?
That should answer your question as to why it's easier to rehome a kitten
I'm allergic to kittens and puppies but not cats and dogs. It must be when the hair is more fluffy. I react to some very thick haired cats but not many

I took antihistamines every day, but she was an older cat I rehomed and she would never gotten another home. I’m sorry, I don’t know if it’s possible to take them long term as I guess you’d be on them for around sixteen years. Probably not very practical admittedly but neither is shopping around for the next pet...unless it’s a gold fish!
If replace with another pet that you may be allergic to, your children are touching them, possibly their clothing and then coming into the house, and if YOU have to clean them out - that’s just .
It’s not fair on the animals to keep rehoming.

If you do decide to get a fish or fish don’t be one of those people who goes out and buys an unsuitable tiny tank and the fish on the same day then wonder why the fish are dying or gasping at the surface.

Research new tanks and read loads of what size tank for what fish, are they shoalers, what size filter, how to cycle the tank, do they need a heater etc etc.

Realistically should I even be on antihistamines forever?

I'm allergic to our cat and take a daily antihistamine. There are ways around it, keep them out of your sleeping area, hoover and damp dust lots and brush cat.

Thanks for all your comments. Another pet is out of the question simply because I don’t want to risk having to rehome another animal, it’s not fair on the animal and nor fair on my kids. It’s emotionally really hard to do that.

I’ve had a particularly bad allergy day today, I’ve had to shower three times and change my clothes throughout the day to get some relief. My eyeballs are going to fall out from being so sore and itchy so unfortunately the decision is made and she will have to be rehomed. Now just need to decide do we to cold turkey and give to a nice family we don’t know or to a close friend so the kids have access to photos/videos.

If I could go back I would never have made the decision to bring poor kitty to our home. Heartbroken :(

@Kittythekitty sorry you are finding this hard. Think about it this way - cats die all the time and kids get over it. We had a lovely cat who got sick and passed when I was 7 and my sister 4...it was a million times easier than losing a fur baby as an adult. At least in this situation, the kitten will go on to have a good life and if you have a friend who would be willing to adopt her, at least you'll all know she has gone to a good owner.

Don’t make your life a misery, re home the kitten, explain to the DCs its making you unwell.

Is she spayed yet? Spaying (and castration) reduces the volume of allergens a cat produces, so if this hasn't been done yet, it may help.

I also heard an advert for allergen reducing cat food - no idea if it works but might also be worth a try - Purina 'Live Clear'.

Give her to someone you know, if it’s someone you don’t know then please don’t give her away for free.

Have you tried anything to make the allergy bearable?

I can recommend Petal cleanse for kittens fur once a week.
Air filter/purifier.
Fish oil is meant to help reduce the allergy and can be bought from Amazon to add to the cats food.
This is very good to spray arounf the home once a month.
www.amazon.co.uk/Allersearch-ADMS-Anti-Allergen-Spray-oz/dp/B0010DLYR4/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_2?dchild=1&keywords=cat+allergy+spray+akws&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1601139750&sr=8-2-fkmr1

Grain free food also is reported to help and Purina have a new food out which they have been trying to produce for years called LIVE CLEAR which they sell in Pets at home.

I also find boots allergy nose spray good and allergy eye drops.

Hello. I don 't know if this helps but we we got our last kittens (11 years ago! Can 't believe it!) my daughter and I had a bad allergenic reaction to them. We both took Piriton for a week .... and amazingly the allergies left! Have you tried this?

@Suzi888 why do you say not to give her away for free?

If you give a kitten away for free they are more likely to end up with an owner who doesn't really care about them, they just thought "Yeah, I'll take a free kitten, why not?" I've heard really horrible stories about people taking a kitten for free and then using it as bait to train fighting dogs - pretty extreme but apparently it happens. This link pretty much summarises it (although it's talking about America) - almosthomeadoptions.com/tragedy-of-free-to-good-home/

I think if you know the re-homer really well and you will be able to make sure the kitten is OK, then it's probably fine to give it away free. But please don't advertise it on Gumtree or something, it could end up anywhere.

The RSPCA has advice on rehoming here - www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/unwantedpets

FWIW I don't blame you for re-homing - I don't think you can realistically put up with a bad allergic reaction indefinitely.

Understood, and the thought of this has crossed my mind and my older daughter has mentioned a couple of times “what if the new owners are not kind to the kitten” which broke my heart.

I feel better today about it all as the kids got a bit afraid when they saw my bloodshot red eyes yesterday and I explained it’s the allergy. For those asking about whether I have tried the various things, I’ve tried a few things including antihistamines and putting her on special allergen diet and so far no luck. Unfortunately I don’t have much more patience to trial out new things as I currently hate my house and being in it because of the reaction.

I’ll aim to rehome to someone I know first, and preferably within the neighbourhood.

If I were you, I would first aim to rehome with someone you know well (as you are doing) and after that maybe liaise with the RSPCA/other cat charity. They are extremely hot on welfare and know the pitfalls.

To give you hope of you? My sister was extremely allergic and ended up having to live in a house with cats for a few months. After 2 months the allergies completely went. May not happen for you but there is a chance if you felt you coukd try and push througj

@KittythekittyFighting dog bait (sorry I know it’s grim) but it does happen. Sometimes a lovely woman will pick them up too with her kids in tow, not a dodgy looking geezer in a balaclava.... you can’t be too careful.

oh dear. Please rehome it. Heartbreaking (I just got a kitten and my DC would be similarly upset) but kids are resilient. Just explain it to them and talk it through.
If it was just a bit of sneezing that would be one thing, but if it's bad then constant ticklish throat will surely eventually make you stressed and unhappy - and that isn't likely to lead to a happy and cheerful mother for your kids!