Anxious about new kitten

[user2348]

Hi there,
I've just put a deposit down on a British shorthair kitten. I have wanted a kitten for ages. My last cat was an old rescue black cat who I absolutely loved so much, and died at age 20 last year. I would have got another rescue but also wanted a British Shorthair for a while.
Anyway, there was only one kitten left that was available. A lilac boy. He's very cute and let me pick him up but I didn't feel an instant bond with him and he wasn't purry, etc. I know that sounds ridiculous as he's a cat but with my rescue she basically chose me. Whereas this time I"m a lot more nervous as I want him to be an affectionate cat and to, more importantly, feel a bond with him.
Any stories of getting kittens that weren't super friendly to start with but grew more so, and how to stop feeling worried if I've done the wrong thing as it's such a commitment getting a kitten!
Thanks in advance.

My son has two of these. They are very cute but not particularly affectionate, they will play and mess around like any kitten but neither of them wants to be cuddled by me or really purr much, they don't with my daghter in law or son either. I have never seen them curled up on a lap.
Next door neighbour had one and he was a surly git too.
I don't know if it's a trait of the breed. It might be worth talking to the breeder about it before you commit.
I'm not overly fond of them as a breed. I prefer moggies anyway.

I had a russian blue once and they will walk through earth, wind and fire for you, they are just the most incredibly loyal and wonderful cats.
British shorthairs always make me think of little psycopaths

@Borderstotheleftofme Maybe, if you read my post, you'd put it down to having loved my old cat so much it's hard to commit to another and feel a bond at first! But it feels you jump to the negative - that I might abandon the kitten, or I shouldn't get a pedgree and should get an older cat, etc, etc. Rather than seeing it for what it is...just a bit of honest nerves. I realise my initial post was focused on affection, though. All my friends call me the cat whisperer though so I'm pretty sure it'll be ok now and it's nice to have received some other non-judgemental and positive posts!

madcatladyforever Ha ha! I know what you mean! I like an evil cat stare though :) I have met a Russian Blue and they are lovely too! Less chunky! I like the British Shorthair characteristics though and also typically loyal and lovely.

@madcatladyforever Yes, I think they can vary - but the mum cat of the kitten was mega friendly and so were the others I met. They can be aloof, but so can all cats! And they tend to be gentle, so even if not lap cats they also aren't bitey types, in general.

I love British shorthairs. After trying and failing to get a rescue moggy last year we got two BSH kittens. They are very cute looking but not very affectionate. One is getting there, slowly, but the other one is madly skittish and doesn't like being touched. So beware they might never get to the purring on your lap stage.

You and I sound like very different people
Have no idea what you mean by that statement

Your posts gave the impression that cuddliness was extremely important to you, that you were worried you’d made the wrong decision because the kitten didn’t ‘choose you’ like your previous rescue and wasn’t all soft and purry.

Now you are saying that isn’t the case and you don’t really mind and you just have a bit of pre adoption panic.
Which is fine of course.

I don’t think it was terribly unreasonable or harsh of me to say that perhaps an adult rescue would suit better if you after a specific temperament, or that you can’t always judge adult temperament on kitten behaviour or that if you are unsure you should pull out of the purchase.

I’m not really sure how/why any of what I’ve said seems to have riled you a bit
Unless I’m reading your responses wrong of course.

Also, as a pp says about British shorthairs being not very affectionate, I should also mention that I think one of my neighbours cat’s is one, or maybe a cross of one.
It has that distinctive cobby shape and jowly face and plush coat.
From what I hear from my neighbour he isn’t terribly affectionate, rather like a PPs experience of her sons cats.

They definitely are gentle, I have to agree. I have never been savaged by one of my sons teddy bears unlike current cat who is extremely bad tempered.

@Borderstotheleftofme Ok, thanks. Sorry to hear that your neighbour's cat of that breed isn't affectionate. I have a friend who has two and they are super affectionate. It really just depends on the cat, as perhaps it's good to point out.
I meant different because you come across as quite negative. And have completely ignored what I said about loving my old cat and that perhaps explaining some anxiety!

But it feels you jump to the negative - that I might abandon the kitten, or I shouldn't get a pedgree and should get an older cat, etc, etc. Rather than seeing it for what it is...just a bit of honest nerves
I was trying to helpful!
As in I thought cuddliness was really important to you and was saying that you can’t judge adult temperament based on a kitten and it might be better to get an adult rescue because you would know it’s temperament!

I never even said you would abandon it, that was another poster.
All I said was that lots of people do give up animals for silly reasons and that it wasn’t unreasonable for people reading your post to assume you may do the same.

I don’t think I was rude or particularly negative in anything I’ve said.

It seems to me to be a classic case of any response not in keeping with you want to hear is a negative, judgemental attack.

I think it’s unwise to post questions or ask for opinions/experiences if you are unwilling to listen to ones that don’t necessarily fit with what you want to hear and want to brand any alternative opinion as ‘judgemental’ or ‘negative’ or other nonsense.

it's nice to have received some other non-judgemental and positive posts!
I wasn’t even being judgemental!
😂

@madcatladyforever Yes, the gentle nature is appealing. It depends on the cat, of course, but I've never met a British Shorthair who's gone for me and they are relatively calm cats.

@Borderstotheleftofme Ok, thanks for the feedback.

@Borderstotheleftofme YOu are right it was another poster suggesting abandonment! So for that I apologise. Incorrect that I won't like anyone saying something I don't want to hear! I am valuing the opinions of all the posters, when they try to understand where I'm coming from. Hence it's fine people saying these cats aren't friendly, because I know that's their experience of them!! Some are, some aren't.

You feel a bit overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. That's human!

You also loved a rescue cat who chose you. When a cat chooses a human, it is a truly special thing. (Also black cats are quite magical. I have two )

But... this new kitten will find a place in your home, your family, and in time in your heart. Welcome with open arms, mind and heart, and you will surprise yourself!

I adopted 2 kittens - one was inquisitive and friendly, the other timid and shy. They are now 4 and have definitely grown into their personalities. However, the shy, quiet one absolutely loves my DCs, follows them round like a dog and jumps up onto their cabin beds to sleep with them. Licks their hands and cheeks. Only comes to me at 4am when she wants fussing and stroking. They are both the sweetest cats ever.

My cat is affectionate when he wants feeding. Always used to sleep on my lap as a kitten but doesn't so much now especially now it's summer as he doesn't like being too hot. He like to be played with sometimes. I think it all has to be on their terms.

@SoulStarS Thank you!! I will!

I didn't suggest you were going to do that and am sorry if you felt that way. I just feel sad for the poor kitties left behind or to one side because people think they're going to be like how they are on adverts and in films. I do think it's important to be patient with your kitty and i wish you all the best!

I'm sitting in my 10 week old kittens room currently with her tearing round the room like a demented devil. By god I love her already.

When not being a pest she like to sleep on me.