Starting to have doubts about getting a puppy help!

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So I have 2 daughters aged 7 and 3.
My older daughter has been asking for a puppy for about a year.
I grew up with dogs and loved them so much I really do think it's good for kids to have them around.
Weve thought about it long and hard, I've avoided puppy farms/backyard breeders etc and done a lot of research.
Sometime late last year I found a lovely breeder who told me her waiting list is already closed for the next litter planned but after lots of chatting and her vetting me she kept my details as stand by.
This was last November, any fast forward till july this year and she phoned me saying that her bitch had a litter of puppies. 4 boys and 1 girl. Other people on the list dropped out as they wanted a girl so a boy is available.
She gave me time to think.
We talked about and decided to go ahead.
Pups are now 5 weeks.
She sends regular videos/photos. Even just chats to me via watsapp and phone about how he is doing etc.
I'm really pleased with all of this.
Now the last few days I dont know why but reality has suddenly hit about what a huge responsibility this is going to be.
Toilet training/grooming/vets/learning recall etc etc.
She has been very honest about what having a puppy will involve
Now my situation is I work 2 x 12 hr shifts per week as a nurse
Example 2 x nights 7pm till 7am, I get home at 7:30am. Partner then leaves for work and home about 5pm.
I sort the kids for school and nursery (chaos) lots of shouting I'm not going to school etc rushing around while I'm dead from a night shift. Then I drop them off and get home by 0915 then I eat/shower/bed. Sleep from about 10am till 15:30.
Walk around like a zombie for about an hr trying to get my head together then go pick kids up at 16:30. Home by 5pm. Cook dinner/homework/bath/bed.
By 1830 I'm either off to work again and partner takes over or I might not be in work till later that week.
Partner is home all weekend
If I do days I work 11:30am till midnight
I sort kids out in morning for school, come home make sure dinner stuff ready for them all tonight, rush around and leave for work at 10:45 am. Then partner is home with kids from 5pm.
This is too long obviously too leave a puppy for up to 6 hrs and it's only twice a week.
I have a friend who has offered to pop in on those days about 2pm to check on puppy etc so it breaks the day up.

I'm just having a reality check, I know it's the school hols and my kids are annoying each other at the moment but it's just chaos with them running around while I'm cooking dinner/tidying up etc. A puppy is going to see this as playtime and get excited and I'll have him running around mad too and at some point i feel it will end in tears.
My plan would be to have a pen and a crate the pen would have puppy pads/water/toys/crate with door open. And someone will check on him.
Now I'm thinking what if he cries all day when I'm trying to sleep for a few hrs?
What if the chaos is just too much of an evening with the kids running mad and a puppy added to that.
I dont want to make a mistake for the puppy as it's not fair on him and I also dont want to upset my kids.
At the end of the day I'm shattered with work and kids I'm worried I just about cope with that and is a puppy going to make things even worse?
I'm trying to think of everything i can and now i feel I'm talking myself out of it.
My partner said his only concern is that the kids have gone past the baby stage and it feels great that we are now doing more as a family and having fun days out that if we have a puppy we cant just go for a random day out just on a whim as we have the puppy to consider
I get that I totally do.
He said whatever I decide he will go with but he feels it would be like having someone who highly depends on us and do we really have the energy?
He thinks of course the kids will love him bit ultimately it's down to us to take care of him/train him/worry about him etc.
Please any advice or stories that would help.
I'm going to have a long hard think and if I decided no then I need to let the breeder know by weekend as it's only fair. Shes been so open and honest with me that she deserves to know
The pup is a cavapoo

Well, all I can say is this is how my cavalier loves to spend her day I think you will have no problem when your past puppy hood with day sleeping.

Don't do it I have always been around dogs they are hard work even small dog's need at least 2 walks a day and the longer the walk the better. I still own a jug dog ( yorkshire ×pug) still hard work. I have recently got 2 farm kitten's and they are so easy and don't wont much and they're litter trained at 4 weeks old. They don't use the litter tray anymore they go out side and they are 8 months old now. A good kitten would be much more fun and easy to look after. I did not like cat's until I owned one. The insurance is so cheap like it costs me under 5 pounds a month for both of them. I have been converted into a cat lover as dog's just want attention and to be petted and trained and to go for long walks all the time. A dog needs love and a cat gives love and they prrrr and that's cute.

That's what the breeder said he will do once hes grown
That and eat eat eat coz hes part cavalier

It’s relevant because unless you have very good personal finances in the event of breaking up (odds of that are more than half) you personally are financially vulnerable. If your DP works FT he has become a parent and retained or built on his position at work.

A dog, if you’re the one putting the work in, would make doing more paid WoH more difficult, for many, many years to come.

If you have doubts don’t do it . I always wanted a dog and we finally got one when our youngest was 11 ( and very ill) . In hindsight it was the best time as prior to that I spent most school holidays away for various short breaks and having lots of days out and that definitely would not have worked with a dog .

I’d be more concerned about the kids teasing the dog and pulling it about. Most shelters won’t allow a dog rehomed with under 7’s for a reason.

Toilet training, we have a dog flap as they want out every 3/4 hours.

Dog howls at the phone ringing, barks at the postman, and any red delivery van.

Kids don’t walk the dog unless bribed!

Unless that is that you might have missed the point that I potentially earn more than him?

Don’t do it. I love dogs, too, but am not getting one until the children can either take it for short walks themselves or can be left alone while I do it, so youngest will be about nine I reckon. And we will get an older rescue dog and try to time it so it is less likely to die mid exams.

If you earn well and are in a good financial position that’s great, and even better if you have financial assets, but working PT is still taking a financial and career hit.

A dog would make it much harder to increase working hoirs should you want ir need to.

You could get a dog walker but that’s not ideal for the dog and is costly.

Don’t do it. I love my dog, we had her before our child but she is hard work.

Dogs are great for kids, the baby adores her and will watch her all day. They help teach empathy, responsibility and selflessness but they are also a huge money and time drain.
Our dog suffered with a number of health conditions and any free time we have feels like it’s spent taking the dog to vet/physio. Her insurance is over £80 a month as she has a recurring illness and we can’t switch providers. We pay another £80 a month on therapy for her taking up 2 mornings each time. We had to cancel our first holiday with the baby (refundable luckily) as our pet sitter fell through.
My dog has always been my baby but she’s such hard work now we have a human baby. I’ve already said that as devastated as I’ll be without her, we won’t be getting another dog once she goes.

I think it’s great you’re thinking about this so thoroughly. It’s such a big commitment. We lost our 12 year old dog a month ago and I miss him so much.

But and I hate to say it, life is easier. We have 2 young dc and we had ddog before we had them. We had all the time in the world to train him and to spend with him. Once dc cane along it was harder to find time to take him out although we still did it twice a day (he was middle age to senior and didn’t want to walk as much or as long). Kennels during holidays were expensive when you’re paying for a family holiday on top, his medical bills and general food/insurance seemed much more once you’re also paying for children and have less disposable income.

We like not having to rush home for him now and during his last months I was up in the night with him many times as he lost control of his bowels and wasn’t very settled. This was hard as i’d just started getting full nights sleep again after dd2. Although our ddog wasn’t massively demanding at night as a puppy I know some can be harder to train/cry more.

We wouldn’t get another dog now until our children are grown. We like our freedom and felt a lot of guilt about not having as much time for our lovely dog after the dc were born. Good luck making your decision.

With your set up op I think an older dog would be a better bet, it will be getting left too long for a young puppy.

Have you come to a decision yet OP ?

Any serious doubts should
Mean a ‘no not now’ from my perspective.
I was in similar situation a few years back - was ok’d by battersea and went a couple of times to look at dogs needing rehoming. As the reality sink in I realised it wasn’t the right timing. I belong to borrow my dog and have fun with neighbourhood dogs and have recently looked after one I know well for 2 weeks when owners were away and took it on holiday to Cornwall (with owners permission obvs). All fun but it’s always the right thing when I hand them back !

Don’t do it. Your husband is right you cannot up and go anywhere for a day without prior arrangements. Puppy walkers are okay but they need paying. Also, for years you have this commitment plus vet bills or vet insurance. I would back out now and reconsider when the children are older and when it better suits your circumstances.