What do we do?!?!

[ratfly]

WE have had our dog1 for 12 years, since he was a pup. He has always hated the postie since one tormented him through the door years ago. He has bitten them on 2 occasions (with 2 near-misses), and regularly eats the mail.
In the 6 months since ds has been born, the following things have happened:
He destroyed his change-mat, which was left on the floor while we were out, probably when the postman came. (He does attack items near the door if he can't eat the post, but this wasnt near the door).
Since then he has been muzzled when I am on my own with him and ds.
Then, dh was in the garden when the postie came and dog1 was loose. Dog1 attacked postie, but dh got to him first and dog1 bit him (not hard, and also immediately realised his mistake).
Then today, I came back from visiting friends, and dog1 was unmuzzled when we were out. Dog2 got excited, as always, and tore around the house, with his bone. Dog1 attacked Dog2 and I had to literally kick him off twice. This is while I was carrying ds.

Dog1 has grown up round other people's children, and has never bitten them even under duress. He has never shown any aggressive tendencies towards ds. He is also extremely obedient in every way, except when it comes to the postie.
Dad has offered to take him, but he doesnt really want him. He has had dogs all of his life, and his died recently. Dh wants to keep him, but have him muzzled whenever ds is awake. This dog is an old family pet, and we love him dearly, but obv ds's safety comes first.
What do we do?!?!

Dog has gone with dad. this is a temporary thing, then we will try 1 month of dominance etc.
As I was explaining to dad the 30+ commands he understands, it did occur to me that he has been neglected recently. Less regular walks, less training etc. Maybe this is the major reason he is unhappy.

Awwww It's awful I know but If he is happier then it's for the best. It's easy to get sidetracked with family life and animals can become haredr to give constant attention to.
I often feel like our 2 dogs don't get the same amount of walks now we have another baby and dh is working more.
I hope it's temporary and gets better xxx

Sounds awful but I do think you need to consider him permantently going to your dads. I wouldnt keep him in your situation as although it may all be fine it needs a lot of work and even then you cant guarantee there will be no risk and you really cant take any risk.

I would still advise though having an appointment with someone from the earlier link.

Well, called dad and dog is behaving impeccably. No barking or anything. Also the behaviour of our other dog has changed for the better.
I am wondering if it their being together that is the problem. Before we got dog2, dog1 was never aggressive in the slightest, but since we had him he became moody. I am toying with the idea of dad taking dog2 for a couple of days to see what that does to dog1's behaviour in the house.
The only things he has ever had a problem with are the postie (for which we can get a box outside) and dog2. As I said before, never with anybody's kids either...

i think wannabe's points are correct if you are just adults having problems with a dog, but your son will be at risk while you're trying out the retraining. if he seems settled at your dads house, that does seem the best option and he won't have to deal with the interdog hierarchiesso will be a lot less stressed. also consider that at his age he may have medical problems that may make him less tolerant. also consider what would happen if your son got in the way of a fight between dogs. and at the end of the day consider how stressed and guilty you are going to feel if he is in the house but penned away.

Can you not see a dog behaviourist?

The pack thing is a little discredited in possibly more forward thinking doggy circles these days.

I agree about the whole pack thing being pretty much discredited too which is why I think she should speak to a apdt trainer for help. I know my dog trainer doesnt go for the whole dominance thing.

Well we swapped dogs til tuesday, so we have dog1 back again. I need to make sure it's the right thing to do before we say goodbye
When both dogs met round dads, dog1 was a different dog again. He snapped at him, barked a lot and was generally more attention seeking. Seems like there is something going on between those 2.
Today at home, dog1 was much calmer, did not sit in front of the front door, obeyed our commands, and came and sat near ds (he used to keep his distance).
Unfortunately, I think dog2 is too loopy for dad to keep, but I think it is best that they are separated, so I will probably be saying goodbye anyway..