My cat has died and I am grief stricken

[Candymay]

I am desperately sad and crushed with grief. My cat has died. I’m in shock. I feel that people may not understand how painful this is so I’m not telling people why I’m upset. I feel like I will never get over this pain.

I'm so sorry, op. The pain of losing our cherished pets is devastating. You'll never "get over" it, but you will move forward in your own time. Hold on to the fact that you gave your precious cat a beautiful life, and remember how lucky you are to have shared so much love together.

The grief is real,when each of my dogs had to be pts the pain I felt was unbearable. I never thought you could feel such loss and grief for an animal. I have cried so many tears and I still do to this day. I promise you though it does get better. That old saying time is a healer is so true. Big hugs op.

He’s being cremated today and they will send the ashes to me on Tuesday I think. I took him to the vet on Saturday. He was 9. I loved him so much. I feel I was never worthy of him.

I’m finding it so hard to parent the kids. Just so low and devastated. Crushed. My heart hurts and I can’t stop crying. Kids are so selfish. (I know that’s not their fault really!) I am full of the Images of my dear sweet boy at his last moments. Honestly I feel I’m in a hellish place. I am full of guilt and sadness. I feel that I will miss him forever. The vet nurse is taking some fur for me. With a bit of his dandruff. I hope she remembers. I had to take my other cat (his twin) to the vet yesterday because of vomiting - same symptoms- and it was the same vet who had looked after my baby at the weekend in hospital. She was so incredibly kind. It helped so much to see her but I can’t imagine my life going on in this pain.

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful one.

Having been there more than once I can promise you that this raw grief and pain does ease. It takes time, but you will remember him with a smile instead of tears

I absolutely dread my cat going and I know the whole family will be devastated. To the point where I don't think I could get another one only to go through the pain again (this is our third cat, but the one the children have grown up with), when it hasn't even happened yet!

I understand the dread you feel about losing your cat. I am crushed and in awful shock. Can barely function. So so shocking. He was so special. And did not deserve the terrible end he had. I feel so sick.

To the people who have said the pain will get better I’m hanging on to that. But I can’t imagine ever being happy again.

Ah candy I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry OP. They are part of our family and of course it hurts to lose them. If you really feel that people in your life won't understand (though you might be surprised), please do keep posting here.

I have an old lady with kidney disease and I know we're on borrowed time. I dread the day she goes and I know I'll be absolutely devastated.

You will feel better in time and look back on all your good memories.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was just coming on here to see how other people handled their loss. Weirdly I also lost my cat on Wednesday - he was 18 and had to be PTS as he was suffering renal failure. I knew it was time but he has been there for me through everything - 5 house moves, 3 children, outlived a dog, always there and the best pet I could ever have had. We chose to bring him home and will say goodbye to him as a family tomorrow - he's going to be buried in the garden and we will chose a tree or shrub to put over him. He was so special to me. My last cat died at the same age with the same thing and it was awful. I am going to put together a photo montage but not yet. I loved him so, so much. I totally get it xxx

alidew What a gorgeous boy. So sorry for your loss but remember you gave him a long happy life.

My girl is the same age and with the same condition, and has also been with me through so much. She's my little buddy. They are so much more than just pets, they're part of the family so of course it's hard. But it will get better.

@Candymay I was just wondering how you were coping now?

My girl died last year, she was 8 and had really severe heart diseases. So it was semi expected. . It was very sad. But it honestly does get better. I remember her now and smile. The thing that Helped the most for me. (May not help everyone) was getting another cat. I was going to wait. But the ideal cat cane up about 10 days later and she has really helped heal my heart. And massively helped my remaining cat. Honestly, one day, you'll be reminded of something he did and smile instead of cry.

Buzz thank you so much for asking. I’m still sobbing this weekend but during the week I coped a bit better. I feel so grief stricken and devastated. I have looked through a few photos. Including the last one I took at the vet when I was almost collapsed with grief. The vet nurse and the vet have been so compassionate. I have had him cremated- can’t believe I’m writing these words- I managed to read the card and look at the box the ashes are in. Still in absolute shock really. And so hard to deal with shouty demanding kids! I’m so alone.

I’m so sorry you must feel awful . I hope as time goes past your grief gets easier

So sorry you have lost your cat,and for how bereft you are right now.You will feel better as time passes. Just remember all the lovely things about your cat,as in playful, loving and funny sometimes.

I have lost quite a few cats over the last 40 years or so,and felt the same as you do now when they died. I have three cats now, but the last cat I had before,died about 14 years ago, and he was 22 years old,he had moved house with me about 5 times,without any problems at all.

i didn't think he was ill in anyway, just an oldie,but he was lying on the rug in front of my wood burner one night,and he suddenly let out an awful cry and passed away in my arms, I assumed that he had had a heart attack.

Hope you will feel better soon.

The awful cry will haunt me forever. He suffered so much. I wish I could hold him again.

So sorry that you're struggling OP . Grief really is quite unique and very suffocating to deal with at times.

My beautiful witchy cat left home to die - 5 years ago now. She was suffering renal failure and we were giving her love and care at home. She just left one morning and we searched and searched for her.

We found out some time later too late that she was picked up by a kindly husband and wife about a mile from here and taken to the local vet.

Her microchip details for some unexplainable reason didn't lead them back to me and she was PTS without my being there. This will haunt me forever.

DD's are yearning for a cat but DH has refused until now because he doesn't want the sadness. He has relented this week and agrees for 2 cats but I'm still wobbling.

Sorry to hijack. I so understand your pain

You’re not hijacking at all. I’m so sorry to hear of your sad story. I completely understand your husband’s reluctance to go through the sadness again. I’m still really struggling with the grief and I have so many regrets and questions. I haven’t been able to feel at peace with it. I suppose the only thing that will help is the passing of time. I do worry that the sadness will suffocate me forever. I loved him so much and I think the process of loss and grief are hard to deal with. Good luck with your two new cats! That sounds exciting- and worth it.

Candy I am so, so sorry you've lost your beautiful little love. {flowers}

My own story may help a bit. We lost our little girl in August 2015 when she as knocked don by a car. She was only 3 years old and we had had her since she was a kitten.

I have had quite a few pets and love them all but I had a very special relationship with this cat. She always wanted to be with me, would come and sit in the sink when I had a bath and always made a game of housework when she could. like hiding in the covers when I was making the bed!

I cried every single day or the first 12 months and often in the years since. It is now nearly 4years and I think of her every single day. I still usually tear up and get a lump in my throat if I think of her and speak about her.

My heart does still ache and I miss her but I can truly say it does get easier with time. I can also look back at her antics and laugh and smile - she still gives us joy!

I still have her ashes as I cannot part with them. When she first went, I put them in a silk drawstring pouch and put them inside a fur toy that was meant to hold on off those heat bags. It really helped as I could cuddle her and hold her when I needed to.

Every time I have a bath I put a towel in the sink like I always used to, just in case.

I know my actions may seem extreme to some but this is my way of coping with losing her and it's been right for me.

Everyone is different and you will be different but I just wanted you to know that there is no timetable or cut off point for missing him/her.

Do what you need to - I have a famed photo on my shelf so I can look at her any time I want.

I still feel she is very much with me and I am so happy that we were the ones lucky enough to adopt her.

Your cat will remain with you in your heart forever. Many, many people here know exactly what you are going through and totally understand. Hugs to you.

Thank you and sorry for your loss too. At the moment I’m still too upset to have a photo of him on display. I am still shocked that it has happened and I keep thinking it’s a nightmare and can’t be true. That’s normal in grief I suppose.

We lost our lovely girl today, I am so sorry for your loss. Coming back to an empty house was horrible, she will never be here again. I am so glad we had her in our lives, she made us laugh and cry and curse, and gave us so much more than we ever gave her. Love is such a great gift, and we just have to hang on to that.