AIBU to think neighbours shouldn't let my cat into their house and feed her?

[WombatChocolate]

So I've read a few threads about this kind of thing from both sides. Currently our well-fed and well-loved cat has been spending time in at least 4 of our neighbours' houses and being fed there. Twice, we have been called by vets to say people have driven the cat in as a stray, but the vet could see she wasn't a stray, scanned her and found we lived a few doors from those who brought her in.

Clearly our cat is a bit 'flighty' and a chancer. We know she loves to go and get attention from pretty much anyone and we are pretty sure can do a good impression of being sad and hungry, but isn't it a bit much of people to allow her into their house and feed her especially on a regular basis?

I totally understand thatbpeoplenwillmstroke her in the street and that she might sit in their doorsteps and try to get in, rather than them luring her in, but really shouldn't people actively shut the door on cat so high are not theirs and certainly not feed them? I just think that this encourages the cats to return to them rather than their own homes and is confusing for the cats and upsetting for the owners. I suspect none of these people would ever consider paying the cats vet bills, yet somehow they seem to think it is okay to take actions which take the cat away for kits home. And I know cats are free spirits and you can't prevent their wandering or being interested in other people, but I think people should take responsibility to shut their door, not encourage them in and certainly shouldn't feed them - it's not being willingness of see that the is isn't really on that gets my goat. Sorry for ranting.

Our girl has been gone for 4 days. I'm sure she's fine and just having a cosy time in shot time with someone else who is probably giving her prawns. What do you think about me making a leaflet asking if anyone has seen her and saying she is well loved and very friendly and gets confused about where she lives so can we ask people to not let her into their homes or feed her, to help her understand where her home is. I won't berate people and do it in a light hearted way. I'd hope that will make people think twice. What do you think?

Thanks

Put leaflets through the neighbours' letterboxes. Maybe a note about the cat being overfed or needing a special diet (don't say what or why)?

You might want to put this in The litter tray section.

Today I took a cat in, we have posters up about a missing cat and I genuinely thought it was the missing cat. Owners came out and said it wasn't theirs.
I asked multiple neighbors if they knew whose he was, none did but most confirmed he'd been at theirs pinching cat food
I took him to the vets, he had no chip (also not neutered, has fleas and worms) I've bought him home with flea stuff on and worming tablet to give him in a week's time. I'll share his picture around to see if anyone comes forward and in the meantime get him squared up.
We lost a cat before, went missing for over a week and I was so happy we had a call to say he'd been found so the idea of not taking a cat in I think is a stray would never occur.
I'd much rather collect my cat 50 times from the vets than not at all

I had this, to the extent I was reduced to arguing with my neighbours as they knew the cat was mine as I'd put missing posters up and had collected him from them before.

One week after the argument he went missing again. Posters went up again. Days on end searching and calling him. Calls to all local vets, even though he was chipped and wore a tag with owner details on.

He never came back.

3 yrs later, we'd moved house. Got a call from a vet. They'd got my cat. I was gobsmacked. Utter disbelief! Apparently he'd been handed in by an anonymous person who didnt leave her details, claiming he'd been hiding in a bush in her garden for 3 days. I was told he was now obese and not well at all.

Just 6 weeks later, despite my best efforts, and hundreds of £££s spent on treatment I devastatingly had him PTS. His obesity had caused severe liver damage and went on to progress to kidney failure. He was so ill. Not the beautiful healthy active cat I'd previously known.

I absolutely believe that the anonymous person who handed him in was the neighbour who'd tried several times before to steal him from me. I believe she locked him in, forced him to be an indoor cat so he couldn't return home to me, which is why he gained so much weight. He was a big outdoor cat who needed daily exercise. And then when he got too ill she just dumped him at the vets as a 'lost'

I'm so angry at the 3 yrs I lost with him, plus the many more years we could've had together if he hadn't been treated like that. Im only glad that I got to be with him at the end.

Since this, despite missing having a feline friend, I can't bear to have another cat as I can't risk the heartbreak again.

I can only suggest as pps have suggested is flyers through neighbours doors and a name tagged collar.

I have to go around to my neighbour to pick up one of my cats constantly. They have very young children and he is desperate to play with them. It’s his dream home🙄They don’t feed him so he comes home to eat and then goes back and sits on their steps trying to get back in. It’s his decision. The neighbours cannot stop him he is so determined.

Agree with you OP. My best friend basically stole someone's cat with this feeding, petting, "oh he's not happy there, otherwise he wouldn't come here!" nonsense. She even ignored their repeated requests to stop, felt them locking their cat indoors was cruel (well, no, they're trying to stop you nicking their pet...) and only backed off when they sent a passive aggressive text saying they were getting the cat a collar with a tracker. Honestly, I was speechless. I love her but animals make her a bit insane. These crazy people do exist, and you should keep making the boundaries clear as much as you can! Good luck to you.

but really shouldn't people actively shut the door on cat

We had a cat in our old street that would jump in any open window we had so he could come and make himself at home on the chairs / beds. We would put him out but he would just climb back in or sit and meow and meow. He never bothered us (we loved him) and we never fed him but I wasn’t keeping my windows closed in summer and unfortunately cats do what they want.

I’d definitely put a poster / letter in the neighbours doors but cats roam for miles, he could be streets and streets away. Can you get collars to put notes in that say don’t feed me?

Can’t you put your address and phone number on his collar?

People keep taking my cat in. He came from a shelter and is a bit of a character. He does a good line in charming kitty looks, purring and generally being fluffy.

They feed him and then he won't leave. He is microchipped but none of the people who have taken him in have ever taken him to a vet to be checked. I have previously got him back with injuries (from cat fights). I'm paying his insurance every month and he lives with other people. Argh!

Also, I miss him, the fluffy little menace.

It is so annoying when people do this! I know it's a chance we take with animals who roam but FFS don't feed someone else's cat. No it might not have a collar but lots of people like me don't like collars (too risky). We had one who would pop in to say hello, he liked some fuss and warmth then off he went.
Our old girl had IBD and was diabetic amongst other issues. She came home one day and vomited up a large amount of food which we hadn't given her. Granted she was thin but she never went far and I think people knew where she lived so why do it? We had a poorly cat for a couple of days and it messed around with her insulin so we made flyers and knocked on doors asking people not to feed her.
You could say your cat is on a special diet and other food gives him the shits? People don't want cat diarrhoea on their carpet....

I've had this in the past too & from that I learnt that when you find out who it is & they don't stop, you can get the police involved. The police were a big help & basically told the neighbour off fir stealing & harassment .

For now though, you can buy collar tags with "do not feed, special diet only" or similar. I'm sure amazon etc will have something. Pop that on its collar & pop leaflets through neighbours doors with a photo of your cat, where it lives & a request not to feed as their kindness is making it sick as they need a special diet. You don't have to give details

When my dcat went missing and I put up posters, 2 people in our village rang me quite indignant that he was their dcat! He was born in my cupboard and I paid for his leg amputated matey!!
Paper collar with a note saying he takes meds if they want to contribute ££??

Next door has a very cheeky little cat who is forever sneaking into our house, it gets in through open windows, it's snuck in past me as I was taking bags of shopping in, the builders let it in assuming it was our cat lol, it's even got in my car while I was hoovering it 😂 It often sits on my front room window ledge looking in if the window is shut!

I never feed it though, I don't even think it wants us to pet it because as soon as it sees us it runs back out 🤷‍♀️

Thanks everyone. From the many many threads on MN about this I can see it’s a very common problem.

Whilst I can see cats are chancers and people can’t always stop them snaking in through open windows, it’s the providing food that is the active choice and persuaded them to come back - that’s where it definitely becomes wrong. Okay, if in doubt take cat to vet as suspected stray but don’t feed it, because anyone should be able to see that will encourage the cat to go to them and not fully to their home. And yes, none of these cat thieves seems interested in the pet insurance or vet bill aspects of having a cat. You either take full responsibility or leave it to the actual owner!

Anyway we did the leaflets. Of course as we were doing the last few our girl appeared and followed us round as we did them!! We had 4 phone calls/texts to say she’d been spotted. She’s been at home more so we hope people have stopped letting her in or feeding her.

We find she’s especially bad after we’ve been on holiday. Although we have people to pop in to do feeding and spend some time with them, of course they get less company for that week and might miss our friend if they come when cats are out. Perhaps then she spends more time elsewhere that week and enjoys it and feels less favourable towards home. We have to have holidays though and I always think it’s better for them to stay at home and be fed than have the stress of a cattery.

Thanks for the suggestions. They seem to just pull any collars off but the idea of saying she is on a special diet and expensive vet treatment to deter people from feeding or stealing her is a good one. If I have to leaflet again I will put that on.

And to anyone reading who has fed a random cat, PLRASE DONT! if you think the cat is uncared for or a stray, the right thing is to drop it at the vet. If not, don’t be taken in by the sad eyes and know that if you feed it YOU are actively encouraging the cat to leave its home and come to yours. Someone else has ownership of that cat, pays for its food and either pays vet insurance or is prepared for vet bills at some point - all part of pet ownership. Your actions could result in the cat leaving their owner permanently and are you willing to then pay its vet bills and take full responsibility? - there is no ‘just giving it a snack’ without possible further repercussions. Think about the owners and the long term welfare of that cat and realise feeding someone else’s cat just isn’t on. Thank you!