As the title suggests I think it’s happening and it’s blatanly obvious to me but my partner appears to be oblivious. We have been together nearly 10 years and this dog has ruined everything. Let’s rewinds 15 months... we bought our house and within a few weeks my partner was already researching puppies! I liked our life... I liked the fact we didn’t have a slobbery, dirty, smelly, 20kg woofer bounding around the house so we change that? Anyway my partner did some research he was after a particular breed... non-shedding (pfft right) anyway that limits you to basically any dog ending in ‘oodle’ poodle, groodle, labeadoodle etc etc etc... he started to show me his research and I showed no interest... I guess I was in denial about the whole thing... that he won’t commit to getting a dog and that the phase will pass. He kept showing my photos of these curly, matted, boof dogs with gross slobber wet mostaches and that nasty red stain around their eyes and mouth... yuck! I didn’t feed into it I didn’t say ‘awww’ once! I did however say multiple times I’m not keen on ‘that’ kind of breed or dog.. why don’t we look for shelter dogs? That went ignored much like I ignored his research. I grew up with bordercollies, smart, loyal, not needy, hardworking. Whilst they did shed I looked past it because I loved them so much it didn’t phase me. Anyway come September last year my partner tells me there is a spare puppy in a litter 5hrs away and we can pick it up in 8wks if we pay the deposit now. My heart sank... I was stuck the deciding moment came out of no where! I had him show me in detail the breed, photos, the cost I then went away and did my own research of the breed ‘groodle’ as well as ‘poodle’ and ‘golden retriever’ which is the mix. It came back to show the dog is smart (tick), the dog will be big (tick), the dog has separation anxiety (fail), the dog is stubborn (fail). I did my research so I knew was I was getting myself into. I went back to my partner with my findings which went unnoticed I then suggested we go to the pound to at least look at what’s there to rescue unnoticed again. The groodle was $2500! Yep you read that correctly... $2500 for a mut basically. Needy pound dog ($180). Anyway the day they were born he was showing my the photos the breeder sent. I was in disgust saying over and over I don’t like that no... then weeks past more photos and I just wasn’t interested. Anyway then came D day where we went to get the puppy. I was dredding it not one bit excited like I thought I would be. I was scared! The days leading up to D day I was the one running around organising shit for a dog I didn’t even want. Bowls, leads, beds didn’t even cross my partners mind to get this stuff. It was at this exact point I should of backed out of it! I knew something wasn’t right here. We picked up the dog ready for the 5hr drive home. I was looking at the dog occasionally while driving it was asleep in my partners arms or in the footwell gazing up at us... all I felt was an insane desire to stop the car and release the dog into the wild. I knew I already didn’t like this one bit. Fast forward months! I’ve spent countless hours training this dog! Coming home in the afternoon teaching sit, drop, come, stay, bed... I’d show my partner the work I’d put in which just seemed all to ‘natural’ to him. It was hard work. Not to mention the toilet and crate training. My partner had a big role with the dog... my partner is the ‘good guy’ the guy who the dog will run to for cuddles my partner picks the dog up and cuddles it like a baby... I told him countless times that the dog will be 20kg+ one day you better not get him used to getting on your lap! At times my partner tried to put the dog on the bed and on the lounge which I reminded him how big the dog will one day get! I was the bad guy here... teaching the dog manners, especially around the house so it doesn’t bowl ppl over or jump on ppl trying to enter our house... I AM THE ENFORCER! And don’t get me wrong the dog is pretty well trained... thanks to me and my efforts. But I still hate the dog and I have feelings of resentment to my partner. Whilst my partner thinks he put effort into training the dog it was minimal compared to what I have done! If my partner did do training I was the one overseeing it and ensuring he knew what he was doing - e.g ensure the dog walks beside him on the lead (no pulling) because the dog will one day be 20kg+. Anyway for the past year we have nearly had the dog for our relationship has changed. Firstly... sex... it has halved! Not to mention the Constance interference of a dog in our house. Trips away when we go away I am always saying ‘where’s the dog going to stay?/who will feed the dog?’ My partner never thinks about those logistics! I don’t know how he can forget the 20kg, smelly, gross, slobber mouth, burden in our life! I organise all the dogs food and vet logistics my partner would just not think about those kinds of things. Anyway this ‘life experience’ has made me realise some serious flaws in my partner, it’s sad really. Its made me mainly realise how selfish my partner is. It’s made me realise he has never changed where I have. We have had countless arguments about this topic, I’ve told him upfront how I don’t like the dog, how I am the one who has trained the dog, thinks about the dogs life and how I am feeling resentment towards him (my partner). He then throws the usual arguement card ‘your overreacting’ ‘we are a team and need to do this together’ pfffft!!!! Team! Anyway I guess the reality is I am treating this dog ownership like having a child with him... which is the biggest resentment contributor. I mean if he is like this towards a dog what will he be like towards a child? A bit off topic I have also been teaching my partner how to meal plan, grocery shop and cook in the last few weeks (after me being fed up of doing it all for years) and he is half arsing that to... we have a meal planner on the fridge and all he needed to do yesterday was buy bread rolls and he didn’t think to do that all day! I know he was at work (so was I) but it wasn’t until I reminded him by text at 6pm that he had to get them! It’s this kind of addititude which worries me... the constant reminder that we have a dog or that we need to eat... I mean where do I draw the line? We have a 3 year old child that needs food! Is these the constant reminders I need to give him for the rest of our lives? Before you potentially bad mouth my partner I won’t you all to know he is very loving and will do anything for me... really he will.