At my wits end! Crying cat.

[rejectangiiexo]

Hello!! I am due in December & ive just finally started keeping my cat downstairs at night, ready for when baby is here. I kept putting it off and half doing it as I just feel so bad and give in to her cries.

Im not sure what I can do :( im at my wits end! She cries and cries and scratches at the living room door all night for hours on end (I can hear this from upstairs ) it properly breaks my heart hearing him like that!! I cant give in it needs to be done, but he's obviously very stressed (& so am I! !) What can I do to help??

I was thinking a calming plug in? Which ones best that doesn't cost a lot? Any other ideas? He is ill atm too with cystitis but i know this isn't why he's crying as I've tried to shut him downstairs in the past when he's been ok and he still cries. Ibe also chosen now to shut him down there as he was going to stay up here until he was better but due to the cystitis he's weeing / bleeding everywhere and i just can't afford to keep washing /replacing everything! One time he riripped my voils down when he was downstairs all night (he's never naughty ).

Any ideas, tips, advice you have is massively appreciated! ! I just hope if anything by time baby's here he'll be used to it & settled & be ok with the baby...

Is it possible to just shut your door and the nursery? He may be happier not being confined to one room.

We bought a cat net for the Moses basket. Cat never showed interest in ds and still doesn't and he's nearly 6. She's always slept on our bed. She's part of the family.

My kitten occasionally sleeps on my face and head! I know it’s extremely rare for a cat to suffocate a baby, but I agree it’s a risk that would keep me up at night,

Poor kitty though. Can you play with him a lot during the evening to tire him out? Also maybe a few new toys that come out when he is locked downstairs - how about some tunnels to explore? Leave the radio on low maybe

Please don’t let him roam outside at night -that is when most cat related road accidents happen.

His cysitis has all cleared up now and he's much better ☺ I managed to keep him downstairs for around a week then gave in due to it getting colder and feeling bad as it's cold downstairs 😂 I know he has furr and I may try it again and leave a blanket downstairs with my scent on. When I finally sort my sleeping pattern out and get myself in routine again it'll all work out fine as he enjoys routine too.

Thank you everyone for your concern & advice I feel better about everything now:)

Glad you are both feeling better!

I bought one of those microwaveable heat pads -it was recommended on the pet forum. You microwave it for 9minutes and it stays warm for hours. Helps ease the guilt if the heating isn’t on

Glad he’s feeling better. You do need to make a decision and stick to it though. We just shut cats out of the baby’s room. Not downstairs. But if you allow the cat upstairs sometimes and not others you will never hear the end of it!!

I'm glad your boy is better. I'd recommend getting a couple of books by Vicky Halls, as they'll help you to get your cat to cope with the impending changes. Vicky Halls is a leading cat behaviourist and is also a qualified vet nurse. She writes about FLUTD and idiopathic cystitis (the medical name for cystitis that doesn't have an obvious cause, e.g. a bacterial infection). She also gives advice about how to get your cat to sleep in another room. I'd recommend "Cat Detective" and "Cat Confidential" as the most relevant for your situation. They're usually available second-hand for £0.01 plus postage and they're available on Kindle too. Her books got me so interested in cat behaviour and psychology that I'm studying it (yes, I have no life).

From my studies I can give the following advice, useful for helping your cat to cope with a new baby in general, as well as preparing him to sleep on his own, (apologies that this is so long):

1. To help prevent the cystitis reoccurring, get him a drinking fountain. I like the CatMate one and, more importantly, my cat loves it. He now drinks much more water and hasn't had cystitis since I got the fountain (touch wood). Cats are naturally attracted to moving water, as it's more likely to be fresh. The fountain also filters the water, that's important as cats can actually taste water. Filtering the water makes it taste better and keeps the water fresh. Put the fountain in a place he can easily reach but not next to his food, cats don't like eating and drinking in the same place. Don't put it near his litter tray either. All of this will encourage your cat to drink more water, which reduces the risk of cystitis.

1. Make your cat a cosy bed in the room you want him to sleep in, so he can get used to it before you start shutting him in at night. It doesn't need to be fancy, you could use a cardboard box with some towels or blankets in it to create some padding. If you can, get an electric heat pad for the bed, so it's cosy. Make sure it's one for cats, as a cat heat pad is waterproof, usually has a chew-proof cable, and only turns on when the cat is in the bed. Most come with a soft cover, it should be on top of the blankets, as they're not as warm as the kind of electric blanket a human uses. The warmth of the pad is a good substitute for lying next to you. By providing this "good place to sleep" during the day, he's going to be less upset at night.

1. If the room you want him to sleep in is cold, try to borrow an oil-filled heater to keep him cosy at night. It doesn't cost much to run one of these heaters and they're safe. If the room is warm during the day, turn the heater on a couple of hours before you go to bed and leave it on all night. Keeping the room cosy will help him settle.

1. To reduce his stress levels, try to play with him twice a day. Fishing rod toys are good as you don't need to bend down to pick up toys. Try the Flying Frenzy, you get lots of different toys to go on the end so he doesn't get bored of the same toy all the time. It'll be good for you too, as it lowers most people's blood pressure. You can sit on the sofa with your feet up while your cat is trying to catch a mouse or swat a bird out of the air. The latter is good for tiring your cat out, if he enjoys leaping up to catch toys. The feather toy that comes with the Flying Frenzy flutters like a bird, which increases the excitement for your cat.

1. Get the Feliway Classic plug-in. If you can, have it upstairs and downstairs as that gives the best results. Unless your house is large you should only need to have one plug-in on each floor. Put it somewhere central, like the landing or hallway, so it spreads the scent to all the rooms. Most people can't smell the plug-in. By using it now, you are reducing his stress levels before your baby arrives.

You said that your cat was rescued from the streets. Part of the reason he becomes so stressed and unhappy with being shut in a room may be because he was dumped. He may associate closed doors with being thrown out. It sounds like you're his security, my cat's the same. For cats like that, not having access to their favourite human is terrifying. If you follow the advice in the Vicky Halls books, you can help him cope with sleeping downstairs.

From what I've learned, cats don't suffocate babies, although I totally understand why you don't want to risk it. The old story was that cats "stole the breath" of sleeping babies. It's now thought that these were cot deaths and that the cat had noticed a change in the baby's scent. As others have suggested, you could use a "cat net" over the cot. I can remember my mum doing that when my little sister was born and it worked.

I'm sorry that this is such a long post. I hope it's helpful. If you have any questions about your cat or about the stuff I've said here, please feel free to ask me and I'll do my best to answer. Good luck for the next few weeks, especially when the big day arrives.