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Original poster

But she's ^so^ good with children [hmm] ...

104 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 04/06/2007 20:02

Said this woman with a nice labrador in the park today. While DS2 was quaking in fear - he doesn't like licky jumpy dogs. The woman said several times how good her dog was with kids.

And then said, 'oh yeah, I've met you before, I think she [the dog] knocked your little boy down', in a very casual way.

I mean, I can totally see that this dog means well and wouldn't hurt my kid, but ffs, knocking kids over is not being good with them!

OP posts:
Pruuni · 05/06/2007 10:42

What slownorris said.
It amazes me that some dog-owners don't see that people who don't know their dog simply cannot tell what sort of dog it is just by looking.

FioFio · 05/06/2007 10:42

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ConnieDescending · 05/06/2007 10:44

NKF - what people???? All the people in recent news stories had dogs with aggresive tendencies. The guard dogs at the pub for example.

NKF · 05/06/2007 10:45

Well, after those sort of news stories, there's usally some nonsense from the owner about how it wouldn't hurt a fly.

ConnieDescending · 05/06/2007 10:45

Pruni - look at the dog. If its wagging its tail thats generally a good sign. If its hackles are up and it is creeping low to the floor bearing teeth then thats not such a good sign. Not rocket science.

ConnieDescending · 05/06/2007 10:49

Interesting link colditz - but again they have specified reasons why a dog may turn nasty and that is the fault of the owner. I'm sure that dog had growled and snapped before.

theslownorris · 05/06/2007 10:49

I give up.

NKF · 05/06/2007 10:50

If it's the fault of the owner that a dog attacks, then perhaps the owner should be put down too.

serenity · 05/06/2007 10:57

It's not even about fear really. I 'm not scared of dogs, I don't hate them, I just don't like them. Just as I stop my overly sociable 3 year old climbing over random people in the park (who might not appreciate her rather full on brand of friendliness), I expect dog owners to do the same with their pets, out of politeness more than anything else.

Incidently, although I'm not keen on them, the DCs love them - DSs don't like them jumping up but are happy to be around them, DD has to be kept in check as otherwise she'll run up to any random dog (which I'd imagine must bug the owner as much as I would be if it happened the other way)

Pruuni · 05/06/2007 11:05

CD, I know that (I like dogs and have owned them). My 3 yr old however does not know that. And tbh a wagging tail is something that he fears - not because I've taught him to, of course i haven't - but because it is no different to him than a stick that someone might use to hit him.
And I don't know that a happy bouncy dog isn't going to jump up on him, knock him to the ground and give him a real fear of dogs (as opposed to an adaptive one).
Look, this thread isn't full of stupid people not understanding dogs, or even their owners. Can you not see why people are wary and get annoyed when dog owners let their animals jump and lick?

ConnieDescending · 05/06/2007 11:07

I can understand that. It is the hysteria around this behaviour I don't get.

Pruuni · 05/06/2007 11:11

It's not hysteria, it's a reaction to the lack of respect for the natural wariness of non-dog-lovers.

ScoobyC · 05/06/2007 11:16

my parent's dog was recently put down because it bit my niece, for the second time, in the face. They didn't train it well enough but then how do you know the person who's dog comes bounding up to your child in the park has either?
IMO dogs should be on leads in parks, no question.
I would be livid if an unleashed dog came up to my ds.

handlemecarefully · 05/06/2007 11:30

"Good point coditz (about respect). Why do some of you seem to think it's the parents' fault?"

But Pruuni in the scenario I gave way down the thread, don't you think it was their fault?

I do accept of course that some toddlers are naturally fearful of dogs and their parents are just supporting them through this

FioFio · 05/06/2007 11:32

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Pruuni · 05/06/2007 11:40

Yes hmc they sound like twats tbh
Just for the record I do not 'support' ds through his fear of dogs. But if he is naturally wary - and I think he has every right to be given that we both of us haven't a fucking scooby what temperament of dog is approaching us - I am not going to try and drum that out of him.
God there really is a chasm of understanding here (no doubt both sides feel that)

ratclare · 05/06/2007 11:53

I am a dog lover and own a big dog ,some small children are scared of him because he is so big.the way I see it is ,to a 2 year old child he is the equivalent of a horse to an adult , would all adults be happy if a horse came running up to them and started nudgeing their faces ? I love horses too ,but I would feel a tad nervous if a strange one came bombing across a field towards me . For that reason ,if there are little people around we dont know he goes on a lead ,simple

CarGirl · 05/06/2007 12:00

I am a dog lover but dd2 was petrified of dogs and it took 2 years of work with her, from the age of about 10 months, to get her over that fear. Before that walking past a dog sent her to a gibberish nervous melt down wreck. Dogs are generally big compared to a child, they can't "read" them therefore they can be very scared. Why is that so difficult to understand?

LazyLine · 05/06/2007 13:02

When I was growing up, we had a dog. It was an Irish Red Setter and my sister and I loved the dog. It was well trained and never violent or aggressive. He was beautiful.

One day, I brought a friend home from school. The dog came to greet us at the door and when he saw her, he jumped up and bit her arm. Wouldn't let go, she had terrible scars.

He had never shown any signs of anger before.

Connie, I think you are acting in a blinkered way regarding dogs and other peoples views of them.

I like dogs, have no problem with them, some of my family own them. But that doesn't mean that if they come and visit that I want a dog to stay as well. It doesn't mean that if a dog runs over to me in the street that I have to stroke it. That's not me being ridiculous, it's not even anything to do with fear.

If someone else is not interested in your dog or doesn't want their children to touch your dog, it doesn't make them strange. They might just not WANT to.

LazyLine · 05/06/2007 13:03

Just wanted to add that I don't understand how it can be anything other than sensible to encourage children to be somewhat wary of all animals in the street.

ConnieDescending · 05/06/2007 14:28

Lazyline I agree children should be taught about approaching strange animals but in a 'that dog doesn't know us' kind of way rather than 'don't touch that dog it will bite'.

I don't care either way if people want to touch my dogs or not but I do care if people who have no real knowledge of dogs and their behaviour start going on about how they are like wolves and intent on attacking young children whilst unleashed in the park.

Of course a big animal can be a bit overwhelming for a child, but not the terrifying experience some are making it out to be. Explain to your children what wagging tales and licking means in doggy language. That dogs like to be patted and dont like their ears pulled etc

charlottelouise · 05/06/2007 14:36

i have 2 dogs, and they are quite vicarious (sp?) and get excited, but do calm down quickly
my dd does all manner of unmentionable things to them (caught her last week trying to put certain items in dogs bottom) and they just lie there or walk off, and im quite certain they would never hurt them
that said, i respect the fact that my pets are animals and will always be, no matter how tame and friendly, they could inadvetently hurt someone when trying to help them etc
(for example when we went to the beach there was a rough tide, and the dogs wouldnt let my dd near the waves, kept stanind in front and grabbing hold of her coat to drag her backwards)

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 05/06/2007 15:26

I just say that some dogs don't like children, some dogs may have been mistreated by children in the past, so, no matter how nice a dog acts, DS1 must always ask the owner before approaching the dog.

I actually prefer dogs off leash though - an off-leash dog can get away from my child much easier than an on-leash one can. I'm in a minority on this one, I know.

OP posts:
Stroo · 05/06/2007 17:21

I just explain to mine that a few dogs out there are like some humans - not to be approached. Some will be turds, most will be lovely.

A bit shocked by the anti dog sentiment here though. I live in a village where everyone seems to have at least one dog. Maybe that's it.....in no way trying to be condescending to people who live in towns / cities as i feel having a dog in that environment with kids and walking them in parks etc. is fantastic!

But then i've never got people who didn't like animals anyway (and as i've mentioned before - i have quite a few in the fambily Stroo)