My cat doesn't want to be at home anymore

[Robbo1234567890]

I've got 2 cats, one older and one younger. The older one we had for 4 years we got her from a rescue and she's really taken with us and we've been really happy since, however we got a new kitten last year and although she wasn't happy initially she came around, but her personality changed. She's generally grumpy and shows displeasure at most things - though she's never aggressive.
However a couple of weeks ago she just left (she rarely goes out) and didn't come home. Only in the middle of the night to eat the dry food and was gone again. Literally for 2 minutes. She did it a few more times then stopped coming altogether. I've collected her from 3 separate neighbours who all say she runs into their house and settles down, and the moment I bring her back she is desperate to leave. She constantly hisses at the kitten but he's the nicest little thing and keeps his distance from her. I've taken to keeping her inside in order to re-introduce her to the home again because maybe she feels she's lost her territory but she just looks miserable. So I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to let her out and watch her disappear, or see if this works and she comes through it to understand this is her home.

Have the kitten rehomed, and make your older cat happy again.

Your cat is unhappy, and it's probably due to the kitten. I've got an older cat (about 14), and he's been here 7 years now. I brought a stray cat home, and my cat hated it. He didn't seem to mind at first but after a month or so, he used to hiss and growl at the new cat - and after 5 months I rehomed the new cat. My boy is happy again now.

Lots of cats don't want to live with strangers. We have two unrelated ones and I think the only reason it works is we got the kitten first and then rescued the older one.

We've had them both for eighteen months now and they're happy enough for two unrelated cats. They play and chase and snuggle together too :)

I think you won't get your older cat back while the kitten is around, I'm afraid.

Have you tried the Felinway Friends diffusers? They are expensive but work wonders

We have a 17 year cat and a 1 year old . We then ended up adopting two 8 week old kittens. The existing two cats declared open war on the little ones who were totally bemused . Constant growling hissing and smacking them . The older ones also became miserable , off their food and restless

Plugged in three Felinway diffusers in the main rooms they all go in and within 4 days, all four cats were playing together, washing each other and sleeping on same bed ! And the older cats were completely happy again !

Yes I recently bought the diffusers so am hoping they will help. We’ve had the younger cat for a year now almost so they’ve been together for a while, and got on well enough before. There were other factors though such as cats coming in our flat at night we noticed and also the odd fox, which I think also unsettled her, so we addressed that with a microchip catflap. Plus we recently had building work and we had to move out for a month while it was taking place so in essence it’s been a bumpy year. I know where she is going so I know that she’s not lost. We’re not going to give the kitten away because he’s a big part of the family now, and I don’t want to give up on either. I think I’m going to let her take time out and trust that she comes back after a time, as she’s gone to the house that backs on to us.

I can imagine. Our older puss, it turned out, didn't really need a little playmate. So Felliway all way round, and my watching that the younger one is not pissing off the older too much. She gets to do whatever she wants and sleeps on my head.

Honestly. Some cats are "single cat in a household" animals.

If on dry food diet & hissing, her internal organs could be showing stress from inadequate amts. of water consumed. Give watery meat drinks from some canned food to Ensure adequate water consumption. She could be visiting neighbours feeling in need of something not getting at home. Maybe needs worming all- wormer or de-fleaing.