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Original poster

Who is being unreasonable? She's keeping the kitten :(

22 replies

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 17:56

Hi, just after some outside opinions as I'm too upset and angry to think logically.

In April a colleague of my husband's found a stray cat in her shed who seemed to be nesting. The colleague did call the RSPCA round to collect the car but had a change of heart and decided to keep her, let her have the kittens at home and then try and rehome them herself, she would keep the mum. Now, the colleague of my husband has never owned a cat but I have always had cats and volunteered at Cats Protection for many years so offered to help and provide advice and guidance if needed. Kittens were born at the end of April and all healthy, including mum, she asked if we would like to home one of the kittens which we agreed to. The litter was made up of three ginger cats, a tabby and a black and white - we chose the black and white as, working for CP, I know they are harder to home.

Since the day the kittens were born we have been the permanent home for "Rainbow" (as named by my son) and have recieved daily pictures, bought him a collar, bed and toys and helped her rehome the other kittens. (No money was ever exchanged, the kittens were rehomed so they wouldn't end up at the local animal shelter)

We were due to collect Rainbow tonight and DH received a message from his colleague at 11.30am saying she had changed her mind and decided to keep Rainbow. My son is heart broken, he's cried since picking him up as he was looking forward to collect the kitten tonight. My husband has told his colleague that she is out of line to leave it so long and that she is being completely unreasonable. She says we are being unreasonable for not understanding and shouldn't have got my son's hopes up.

So, am I right to be absolutely livid with this woman? Or is the fact that my son is heartbroken clouding my judgement?

(N.b. yes, I am aware of the millions of cats who need adopting in shelters and would never pay for a kitten from an advert such as Gumtree etc... We were going to have a kitten to prevent more strays going into shelters and will not be persuing a kitten anymore)

OP posts:

Icklepup · 26/06/2018 18:00

She's being unreasonable, who leaves it that long!? So unfair on your son.

lineyturner · 26/06/2018 18:00

I understand why you're upset.

Would it help to try and be pleased that the cat and kittens have a good outcome? Thus freeing you up as a good owner to help another one?

She didn't breed for money.

I mean it kindly, but it's sort of nice to think of more owners than animals so often you think about CP full to bursting etc

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 26/06/2018 18:00

I would be upset too, but, like you, she looked after and has grown attached to the kitten so I don't think she is bu either.

sorry you are all so upset.

niknac1 · 26/06/2018 18:02

Not fair, I think I would reply letting them know how devastated your child is.

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/06/2018 18:03

I would get a kitten from a shelter if my ds were that upset. You're rescuing a kitten in need so it cannot be a bad thing

Halfblindbunny · 26/06/2018 18:06

She is being unreasonable who promises a kitten to a child then back tracks on the very day of pick up! Could you not adopt a cat/kitten from a rescue centre for your son? I would be heartbroken if that happened to me and I'm an adult. What a heartless cow.

Failingat40 · 26/06/2018 18:07

She's being unreasonable.

Do you believe she is actually keeping the kitten rather than has sold it?

Kittens in my area are selling for £100++!!!
I'd be suspicious.

I think since your son had his hopes up and has the bed and collar you should get him another kitten. This will be so upsetting for a child.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 26/06/2018 18:09

I don't think you should guilt trip her, nor do I think she's heartless, quite the opposite. She has done a lovely thing by taking in and looking after a pregnant cat. She has obviously fallen in love with the kitten too so someone would have been devastated, she's the one who took on all the work and financial burdens for the cat and kittens so why should she be the one to suffer? You can get a rescue from anywhere, there are loads of them, and it sounds like you have a great home for some lucky cat.

Original poster

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 18:12

We have contemplated visiting the local cat rescue place this weekend but looking at the older cats. The kittens are normally kept seperately because they get adopted so quickly.

You're right that it's a good outcome that the cats are all healthy and have homes, I will see things logically when the initial upset has calmed down. I think I could cope if it was just my husband and I, its just the hurt it's caused my son.

OP posts:

Original poster

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 18:24

I completely understand getting attached to kittens and she would find it hard to let it go. It's just the timing, why the day we are due to collect? I don't think she had this realisation today. Rainbow is the only kitten who has had a home from the start, she's struggled to rehome the rest which we've helped with (even my brother is taking one)

alas, my son will be fine soon enough

OP posts:

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 26/06/2018 18:29

She maybe thought she could until the last minute. Reality probably hit her this morning.

it is horrible but it's just one of those things, she didn't do it out of spite.

Hope you find a lovely cat for your son soon.

Original poster

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 18:32

Thanks buzz, I'm sure we will. Just getting a bit lioness

OP posts:

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 26/06/2018 18:39

I would feel exactly the same and I would be imagining her head on a stick if I were in your shoes.

It's easier to be objective when you aren't emotionally involved.

Have you considered bribary for your son. His own bodyweight in sweets should help his tears that's how I parent

lineyturner · 26/06/2018 18:41

@Buzzlightyearsbumchin

2 older cats instead? Everyone's a winner then?

PereyButton · 26/06/2018 18:50

Personally think she should've taken it to a vet and had cat checked for microchip. Very sad for your child but also potentially sad for the previous owners who could possibly have been reunited very easily. You should never keep a cat without having it checked for a microchip.

Original poster

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 18:51

It cost me a magnum on the way home

OP posts:

Original poster

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 18:52

Perey she was checked for a microchip by the RSPCA when she was contemplating giving the mother cat up to the local team

OP posts:

LadyPeacock · 26/06/2018 19:01

Could you have the one your brother was going to take, or does he also have a hopeful child waiting?

PereyButton · 26/06/2018 19:09

@StinkyMcgrinky fair enough, I take it back!

Japanese · 26/06/2018 19:09

I understand why you are upset.

But as she has clearly made up her mind, I would try and put a different spin on things for your son.

We rehomed a rescue cat earlier this year. When we went to the home to see the cats, my DS fell in love with one but by the time we went to ask about him, that cat had already been reserved by another family. DS was very upset as he had his heart set on that particular cat. But then the cat we did end up rehoming is such a sweetie, has fitted in so well to our family and DS is now besotted with her instead - we all are .

At the time, I explained it to DS that the original cat he wanted was obviously meant for another family and 'our' cat was meant for us. So, maybe you could tell your DS that this kitten was meant to stay with its mum which means that there is a cat waiting in a shelter somewhere who is meant for you!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/06/2018 19:15

She has obviously fallen in love with the kitten, and the main thing is it will have a good home.

BUT leaving it until the day you're supposed to collect? Totally unfair and I really feel for your son.

Telling you it's your fault for raising his expectations..? That's a bitch move and one that just shows her trying to push her guilt onto you.

I know you mentioned adopting an older cat (and totally understand reasons why) but maybe consider a kitten for your son? The joy of raising a little bundle of fluff is lovely, and might help him to cheer up? Good luck anyway, from a fellow crazy cat lady.

Original poster

StinkyMcgrinky · 26/06/2018 19:22

Ah japanese, that's actually a really lovely way to think about it. I think I will definitely use that the next time my son asks about the kitten (It's been a whole 20 minutes!)

Were going to go to the small local shelter this weekend and take a look around, they have kittens but also older cats so I'll leave it up to DS (within reason, otherwise we'll end up with 12!)

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