Dogs & babys, advice please!

[McBeasty]

Hello, I've got a beautiful nearly 1yr DD. I've also got two dogs, a border collie and a staffy x GSD, Jack russell, collie........etc who I adore! I was wondering how other mums cope with dogs and babies? We're thinking of rehoming them My staffy is suppossed to be going to my aunts (far away) and I'm not sure about my BC. We've been thinking about it since Jan/Feb as at the time I was finding it impossible to cope, as I also suffer from depression and winter is always very pants for me and we have bought our first house and we're in the middle of doing it up. In the end we decided to keep them, until the other week when I was stroking my staffy and thought ew, what's that smell? Discovered that she'd pooed in the dining room, rolled in it, eaten it, wiped it on the rug and then on me! Great. I freaked out as I thought what if my dd had got it on her. So when dh came home i said we have to rehome her. He agreed, but we decided to keep the BC. But I worry that BC isn't stimulated mentaly enough as it is and worry about how he'd cope (& me) without a doggie friend. Also, really don't won't to lose either of them. I just worry about them being round my dd, though they are just gorgeous, silly, hug machines who love everyone and haven't actually done anything (apart from the poo thing) to justify my fears. I am actually finding life alot easier now, just want someones elses opinion.

Hi honey, Been in your situation and completely sympathise.

We had 3 big dogs and they were fantastic when my dd was a new born. But as she got older I wasnt coping very well at all. I couldnt take them out. Can you imagine a pram and 3 dogs! Or up downs with baby seat and 3 big dogs in car on the way! Nightmare! Because of this they started to poo in the house, barking more etc.. and just couldnt cope. We rehomed 2 of them. We contacted our local rescue centre and they went to a foster home together and then rehomed very quickly with seperate familys. Both very happy and I get photos sent to me every now and again. We only have 1 dog now. He is great. I can take him out with dd, no problem. He gets more attention and is very happy. He hasnt had 1 accident in the house since!

So, it is a good idea to rehome if you can. I was heart broken, cried and cried for days. But i got over it and I know they are happy and living a great life! I am happier too, much less stress and clean (ish) house.

It worked out better for everyone, no matter how hard it was to let them go. I know in my heart I made the right decision.

I hope me rambling on has helped you. Chin up, think of your dogs and baby. xx

i know its hard but imo dogs and little people dont really mix. would it be possible to have them as outside dogs if you have theroom, just until children older? with a big run , not coming in the house at all but still going fro walks? this is what we did but we have a lot of outside space.

With respect mm dogs and little people can work in my experience. The only reason we rehomed was because I couldnt cope. They were fantastic with my dd and were very gentle around her. The 1 dog we have now and my dd who is 2 1/2 are best friends. They are always sitting together, play in the garden together and he sleeps in her room on the floor next to her bed. So in some cases dogs and young children go together perfectly. Its more of a case of us mums coping with it all imo.

Thanks for replying, guys. I really appreciate your advice. The thing is I do seem to be coping alot better now, but there is always the worry of when I next feel down how I'd cope. I'm able to walk them most days and we've got a half decent sized garden for them to run in. My staffy dosen't usually poo in the house, I think it was because she hadn't had her morning poo and had just eaten her brekkie and she may of been desperate (sorry to mention poo so much!). Sometimes I also think that my BC really deserves to live on a farm or somewhere similar were he has a job to do or a home that does agility and all that malarky, as he is such a smart dog. I really, really want them to stay! I think I'm worried about dd picking up germs from them (v.paranoid) and them being too rough when playing with her - not that I'd ever leave her alone with them. I don't really want to house them outside as they're 2yrs old & have always lived inside.

Awwww MCB, I totally understand.

We have 2 dogs and 2 children. DD is 3 and s is just 9 months.
We've had the first dog well before dd came along but the second we got in March. Actually we rehomed her off another MNetter.

Anyway 2 weeks after we got her, I found out I was pg with No.3 and I'm stressing big time!
I suffer with anxiety and sometimes find it really difficult to get out of the house so trying to walk them is hell.

We've had alot of offers from friends who want to take the new dog on because she is so lovely. Shes a little chihuahua but cross with a cat I think lol. Always sits on your knee.

If you feel you need to do that then do it. Especially if you know that they will get good loving homes.

I have two largeish dogs and a 9 month old baby. I find that the most important thing is that the dogs get enough exercise - in our case it's an hour's run in the morning and another one in the afternoon/evening. If they get that, plus a bit of fun training, they just pad around the house lazily or sleep the rest of the time. It was important for us that I could walk both dogs along with the buggy on my own, which meant they had to be very focused on walking to heel on the lead (which they are). We had the dogs a couple of years before ds came along so we had a while to work on their behaviour/training. I work three days a week from home while ds goes to a childminder so have some time with the dogs on their own too, although I obviously spend most of it at my desk!

It is hard work (even more so if you see the amount of hoovering that needs to be done - they shed A LOT...), but both dh and I really love the walks and they are just a part of our everyday routine. They set us up for the day. As for the hoovering, we got a Roomba vacuuming robot, which helps . When ds was born we used a professional dogwalker to help take some of the strain, but don't need that any more. Might be something to consider if you don't think your dogs are getting out enough. Any dog-loving friends who could help out?

In my case dh is a massive help and does his fair share of chores. If it wasn't for him I don't think having the two dogs would be feasible.

With the pooing, it sounds like your dog might be stressed. I think you have hit the nail on the head re them needing stimulation. Realistically do you think you can provide enough and build it into your daily routine? She has almost certainly picked up on your anxiety, too.

Oh, also, there are lots of easy training things you can do at home for fun and to make life easier - when she's older get your dd involved. My niece adores getting the dogs to 'Sit!' and she's only 2. That type of thing will help their relationship with your dd too. Clicker training is ideal for doing around the house. It shouldn't take long at all and if you know you can get your dogs to 'back off' 'go to bed' 'lie down' etc reliably it might make you feel more confident about them being around your dd.

Thanks for the advice bitzermaloney & Nbg. Congrats on your pg, Nbg ! I also suffer from anxiety too. Actually one of the reasons for getting BC was to help me get better, which it has alot. Maybe just having one might be easier - it's just that they really enjoy each others company and when I or dh can't play or fuss them they have each other to entertain them. We've had them 2yrs now and their training isn't too bad. They know sit, paw, lay, wait, stay, excuse me, slowly, come here (not that they always pay attenttion to that one!), in your beds and no. I can walk them on my own with the pushchair though I do need to teach them to walk to heel properly and if I let them off the lead and Rosie (staffy x) sees someone she'll zoom over to say hello even if I tell her not to (I don't let them off unless I'm sure no-one is around). My parents think I should rehome them as they saw how stressed I was a few months ago and they worry about DD. But they aren't really animal people. The reason I was so stressed was because I was going through a really low periond, because of this the dogs weren't getting their walks and I couldn't let them out for a run in the garden as there wasn't any fencing up. Plus we had just moved and had tons of work to do to the house. Now the fence is up so the dogs can run around the garden to their hearts content, they are getting their walks and they get played with and hugs & strokes daily. Now I feel more stressed out about losing them. I think maybe I just overreacted to the poo thing, I think it is more of a one off rather then a regular thing. I think I'm quite hard on myself and don't always give myself enough credit as I worry that I'm not good enough at this mum stuff. Thanks for listening to me waffle, I do really appreciate it !

McBeasty - don't feel bad about the dogs, just make sure they go to good homes. They will adjust and TBH find life alot easier without a baby around. We were going to rehome our rotweiller when DD2 came along, she was a surprise and this dog was a rescue dog with a questionable background with huge possesion issues. All of which were over come and he too was a giant hug machine, until he sank his teeth into DD1 (16yrs) when she trod on his foot. Poor dog, it turned out he had bone cancer in that leg, no wonder he bit her, BUT imagine if it had been dd2 (16m!!!!!) it doesnt bear thinking about. As it turns out nature over took us and we lost our beloved boy but if he had made it we would have rehomed him once a suitable, loving home was found, for his sake and family's sake. Dogs are animals of the moment and yes, they will miss you to start off with but they honestly will be fine in a new home. Seen lots of rescue dogs all very happy, dont feel bad, you will feel sad but thats natural, definately rehome. As for the work, oh yes, my workload is much easier now, i miss my dog so much but i wont be getting another.

oh, sorry, it seems you have decided to keep them, im not on top form today, my apologies, the other posters are right, i do think it is possible to have dogs around children, it simply depends on the dogs, my dog, god rest his soul, was a worry hence my decision (albeit taken out of my hands ). Good luck with whatever decision you make, im sure you'll do whats best

Thanks for the advice lucyellensmum. Sorry about your dog. To be honest, I still haven't decided what to do but I feel alot more confident in making a decision after all the great advice you have all given me. it's really helped to hear other mums' opinions. Yep, feeling alot more rational about it now. Thanks everyone

glad to help, mcbeasty. A word of caution though, do be careful of any dog trainers you enlist, especially if you are paying top doller. When we got our mad dog, he really was a huge problem and we hired a doggie shrink, well that was the biggest waste of 70 quid ever. He told us not to feed our nine stone dog the previous evening and then came round with a pocket full of human yummy biscuits. Then the pompus twat had the audacity to say that our dog was chosing to sit near him because he was the most dominant person in the room and dogs need to be dominanted. Nothing to do with the biscuits and the trails of saliva streaming from the dogs jowls. What really astounded me is that we handed over the money, so desperate were we to be told that we hadn't taken on a demon dog from hell. Well he was a demon to be sure, quite barking mad, although he hardly ever barked (a common rottie trait) just stared you down (a very silly thing to do to have staring compititions with enraged rotweiller i can tell you). As it turned out, we just needed to give the poor dog time and he did turn out to be a lovely sweet dog, who never curled a lip or did anything bad with the baby. Saying all that, it was a constant worry, especially with his background so unknown to us. Also, his reaction to other peoples children had been a big worry in the past so he was an angel with DD really. Sorry, i talk loads about my dog to anyone who will stand still long enough to listen. But just trying to make the point that some dog trainers are more adept at manipulating the owners than the pooch. Good luck with the menagerie, go with your instincts, and of course, never ever, EVER leave the dogs and children alone for a second. I think my concern if i were you would be that you have the two dogs and they will be vying for pack position. They will tend to see a young vulnerable baby as below them in the pecking order as they see the pack leader (you) caring for and guiding the children. That is something to be aware of.

you want to hear a poo story? This will make you feel your incident was just a trifle Our first rottie, appropriately named Tiny (10stone!) managed to get himself locked in the bathroom and that night we got stuck at the inlaws for longer than we anticipated. Anyway, when we got home, no dog to greet us, just a pungent sell OMGG - the poor creature had stressed himself out and had what i can only describe as explosive diarreoh (i will never be able to spell that despite working as a vet nurse) which literally covered the bathroom from about waist height, it was fecking EVERYWHERE, this was 2am and i had to strip to my bra and pants to clean it up, i have honestly never seen so much shit in all my life and didnt think that one dog, although he did have a poo problem, could produce so much. Poor Tiny now he was an absolute sweetheart, we got him from a pup when dd1 was four and he was no problem at all, he lived to be 12 when we lost him about 4 years ago, we still miss him now.

oooohhhhhh NBG!!! im busy trying to persuade hubby to buy me a chihuahua for my birthday. I used to have one that stayed with my mum when i moved out and when we got tiny i used to take them both out together, would get some very funny looks. They are fantastic dogs, what i cant understand is the price tag, there were some in our local free ads for a grand! i mean, the bloody dog only weighs about a kilo, you can get a 30kg labrador for £350! lmao, obviously size isnt everything!

We had a similar prob, with our dog and I would agree about dog behavioursists - the one we paid for (a LOT of dosh) refused to come and see us unless DH was there too and refused to understand he couldn't just drop everything at work. She then asked why we had had children in the first place as they were going to impact unfairly on the dog and said that in her opinion if dogs bit children they were usually provoked.... and suggested some completely unworkable solutions. In the end we foudn a friend who would have the dog for a year and then he came back to us, when ds was big enough to cope, and it gave me a huge rest and helped no end with my PND. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Lordy, that sounds like alot of poop! I remember years ago when me & dh (then just a bf) went to visit my parents for the day and accidently shut the cat in our bedroom. Guess how he repaid us.....he pooed in the middle of our bed. As my mum would say, he's got style .

Thanks BaffledByBabyTights. They haven't really got any behaviour issues, it's more that I worry that I'm not providing a good enough home for them and that I'm doing the best for my dd. I think because my family think I should rehome them because of how things were this winter just gone I'm feeling abit confused. Not too confused now though after everyones brilliant advice. I know my staffy x would have a brilliant home with my aunty and if we rehomed our BC we would make sure he went to the best home possible. I guess I just have to weigh the pros and cons. I know that my dd is safe with them, as safe as can be with a dog and I'd never leave them alone together. I think it is more the worry of want if.