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Original poster

My MIL's dog bit someone

22 replies

Ace95 · 16/03/2018 16:21

My MIL's dog bit someone and she can't understand why I don't want her dog anywhere near my 18 month dd.
The dog is a small yorkshire terrier, and is treated like a king or second child, and she won't have a bad word said about it. Ever since I have met that dog I have always had a feeling that one day it would lash out and the other day it did. It bit my BIL's wife and drew blood.
Now the argument started from when my partner decided that he didn't want our dd near the dog after what happened. MIL allowed the dog to repeatedly jump up at our dd while she was eating, and when my partner asked his mum to pass him our dd. She was more concerned talking to her other granddaughter who is two months older than our daughter.
My partner and I leave straight away, as we felt like we weren't being listened to, and my partner is so upset with his mum allowing a dog who has just drawn blood from a human jump over his daughter.
Since the incident we have been made to feel like we are in the wrong for keeping dd away from that house and the dog because we don't want a repeat of what occured. She is trying to sway us by saying that she is allowed to see her other grandchildren and that their parents aren't concerned. I just feel like screaming at her, but for my partners sake I'm allowing him to take the reigns. I'm at a loss. What would you do? am I overreacting?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 16/03/2018 17:36

Tell her you will go but only if the dog is shut in another room away from your dd

Original poster
Ace95 · 16/03/2018 17:44

I have tried and so has my partner but she won’t. She stated even if it bit our dd she wouldn’t really do anything. I just don’t want to have fear every time going over that it would do anything.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 16/03/2018 17:50

I just wouldn't go then tbh. She is choosing the dog over your dd

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 16/03/2018 18:06

Why did the dog bite your sil? Did she step on it? Although some dogs are fiercely protective of their owners most only bite if provoked.
Your right to be cautious but I certainly wouldn’t fall out with someone over this.
Excellent time to teach your child how to treat a dog.

Original poster
Ace95 · 16/03/2018 18:12

The sil just picked him up, because he was growling she had already done it earlier in the day, just this time he bit her. No reason for the growling.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 16/03/2018 18:18

Was he growling before she picked him up? Growling is a warning so she shouldn't have touched him

ShackUp · 16/03/2018 18:25

I was bitten by a yorkie when I was little. They can be quite vicious!!

chloesmumtoo · 16/03/2018 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nifflerbowtruckle · 16/03/2018 19:08

You have every right not to allow your daughter around what sounds like an ill trained dog but picking up a growling dog is a good way to get bitten. A dogs growl is it's way of saying leave me alone, I don't like this. A lot of people just expect a dog will put up with any behaviour no matter how bad but it's just not like that.

Original poster
Ace95 · 16/03/2018 19:48

He wasn't growling before she picked him up it was after. It was quite peculiar because for the first 16 months of my dd life we had been staying with my MIL. One of the many reasons why we moved out was because of the dog, I'm just glad he didn't go at dd when we were living there.

OP posts:
Aprilmightmemynewname · 16/03/2018 19:52

Tell her if she wants to she can see you all at your house or a cafe but you won't be visiting. No need to justify yourselves to anyone why - she knows the reason. Is there any chance the other dgc parents don't know the dog is vicious?

OutyMcOutface · 16/03/2018 19:56

Just respond that she is allowed to see your DD, just at your house. If she wants to see her she can come tobyou. If she doesn’t, well that’s her choice. It’s a shame that she doesn’t care enough to make a visit to your house to see her. See how she likes the emotional manipulation.

FrozenMargarita17 · 16/03/2018 20:02

The problem is that the dog may well lash out at your daughter because while you can teach her to be well behaved around dogs, there will be times that she will slip up and the dog won't make allowances.

It's better to stick to your guns and stay away. You will have to be firm and if she wants to see your dd, she will see you elsewhere, or lock the dog away (presuming you're happy with this solution?)

Wannabecitygirl · 16/03/2018 20:03

I would say if she wants to see DD then she comes to yours, or you meet out in Public. No way would I take the risk, but that’s mostly because a friend lost his Grandson to a dog.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 16/03/2018 23:28

your sil probably hurt the dog. pinched it or squeezed the ribs something.

BSJohnson · 17/03/2018 00:21

Well, as long as the op reliably trains her toddler not to pinch or squeeze too hard, it'll all be fine, then. Hmm
Sheesh.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 17/03/2018 00:39

Most people who have children with pets in their lives quickly teach the children to respect the animals.
Toddlers quickly learn to stay away from cats.

Raven88 · 17/03/2018 00:47

Honestly I wouldn't take a child near her dog either. It's has bitten someone and jumps at people when they are eating. I grew up with dogs and they never bit and if they jumped up they were told no. She isn't training her dog. The fact that she didn't stop her dog jumping on your child is a red flag.

Greenyogagirl · 17/03/2018 00:49

I’d shut the dog in another room and if mil doesn’t like it then leave.

Original poster
Ace95 · 17/03/2018 13:22

Thank you. I feel I'm not alone in my opinion on this matter. I taught dd not to pull or squeeze and as we lived with them for the first 16 months I had time to show her. She understands how to treat animals.
I am sticking to my guns and keeping her away from that dog, and if mil doesn't like it then she is going to be missing out.

OP posts:
lougle · 17/03/2018 13:47

Your SIL caused the dog to bite. It didn't bite unprovoked. She never would have done that to a bigger dog. I hate the way people think that rules don't apply to small dogs. He growled, but because he was small, she thought she could just say 'oh be quiet! Hmm' and he would say 'alright, only joking, I'm not terrified/stressed/hurt/at the end of all my coping strategies/trying to tell you I have nowhere else to go before I use my teeth because I have no other way of talking'.

You are not wrong to want to protect your DD. You are right and your MIL is wrong, but not in the way that you think. She is failing to protect her dog from being treated like a human, and having expectations placed on it that it can't fulfill. It can't escape that pressure and it isn't fair. Don't blame the dog. Do protect your DD, for the dog's sake.

Thinkingofausername1 · 21/03/2018 11:08

The dog should have a mouth guard put on it around visitors if this has happened. Unfortunately, some people to treat and spoil their dogs like this, and in the end there are consequences.
I can tell which dogs are spoilt when I walk mine, just how they behave towards my dog.

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