Custody of dog

[Hardheadedwoman39]

Does anyone have experience of getting custody of a dog that they previously owned with an ex?

Any ad five or knowledge hugely appreciated!

No advice but bumping in the hope someone comes along with some knowledge!

Thank you

bumping also. I worked with a woman who shared custody of a dog with an ex - week on week off. It worked quite well for them covering holidays etc too.

My friend tried to help her boyfriend get custody of a dog he shared with an ex. It had turned quite nasty and ended up going down a legal route. In the end, it came down to who had wanted the dog in the first place and who had paid for it despite this being the person who cared for the dog least.

When I split with my ex, we attempted the shared custody route but he really didn’t bother with the dog or demanded short notice he wanted the dog for extended periods of time. I became very paranoid he would refuse to give the dog back after a particularly memorable argument when I logistically couldn’t get the dog to him so tried to arrange another time. He turned very nasty and accused me of being controlling, so I made the decision to just not reply to his messages and block him on all social media. He knew where I lived, so if he was that bothered he could have came and discussed it face to face. It was laughable as it took him four months before he even questioned if I was ignoring him as he very infrequently asked to see the dog. He then threatened “to go legal” but by that point I don’t think he had much of a case, and certainly had no proof who paid (we both did).
I never heard from him after that, so no idea if he even tried to “go legal” or if he just thought that it would scare me enough to give into his demands.

I hope this helps, but it really depends on your situation. I wouldn’t recommend keeping a dog from someone who loves and cares for it, but that was very different in my case and I felt I had no choice but to just cease contact. I had a lot of guilt about it at the time, but I 100% would do it all again if I had to.

Thank you @LampShadeHeid - it's a horrible situation to deal with and as you say when people love and care for that animal it's even harder. Do you know much legally about what an be done?

From the research I had done at the time, it made out that in the eyes of the law there isn’t much that can be done. A dog is classed as a possession, so if one person kept the dog from the other for example, it wouldn’t be classed as a high priority with the police. If courts were to become involved it could become very expensive and proof of original ownership could be difficult to prove. In my situation, my ex had little interest in having the dog full time permanently, and courts will really have no interest in drawing up visitation agreements for a dog!

I don’t know your situation, are things likely to get messy? Prepare yourself if so. My dog was always registered in my name under the vets, the insurance and his microchip. I had the proof that he was more my dog, rather than my ex’s in case it was to go down the legal route.
My advice is though that if it can be kept civil, then keep it civil. Have a bit of give and take. I became very anxious my ex would steal my dog and as I said, the police and courts will not get too involved. I couldn’t lose him and it was a horrible time I went through waiting to see if my ex would retaliate for me keeping the dog from him. Thankfully he didn’t!

A family friend went to court as they had 5 to fight over. They were awarded 2 each and her dsis got the other. A woman I know had a week on /off with her ex for ten years or more. No dc together but they shared the ddog!!

Sadly it is about to get horrible - it's my current partners ex who is 'going legal' but ownership has always been joint so I'm not sure how that will pan out.
They had been doing a week on/off but she has become so abusive and untrustworthy that it's no longer an option.
I just can't face legal wranglings!

I’m sorry, but it sounds like in your situation it would be best going down a legal route. Keep us updated on the situation.

You've probably all lost interest but it's always good to know how a story ends!

So, a joint agreement was drawn up to share the dog and my partner added the additional request that she stop writing libellous things about him on social media. She refused.

Since then she has gone quiet and we are told by mutual friends has 'given up'. In reality she had no legal route she could actually take so I think she has perhaps (hopefully) understood she has been wildly unreasonable....anyway.....that's the hopefully happy ending 😊😬