Please bear with me, I want to give background before I ask my question rather than dripfeed. If TL, please skip to last 2 paras.
When v.young DD twice had dogs try to bite her (completely unprovoked, we were just walking) - it didn't help we lived on an estate with unattended dogs regularly roaming. A shame as before then she adored dogs.
We then moved to a village when the dog owners were fab. Everyone was so kind and understanding she ended up being much more confident around dogs, and happily asking for pats (if owner & dog happy).
F.fwd to last weekend. She is now awaiting assessments for aspergers and ADHD. Her anxiety is really bad, and I have lots of meltdowns to cope with. On Saturday we were walking back to a car park and had to walk through a narrow hedged section to progress. A couple were walking their little dogs. Given her anxiety DD stopped and hid behind me (she's 11). I've tried to teach her to stand still around dogs if she's uncomfortable, until they pass, and she did just stand still. The couple waited either side of the path. I didn't realise there was a standoff until DH said something like 'sod this' and literally dragged youngest, who then began to cry, past the dogs (she is little, similar size to dogs). Dog owners then walked past, and one of them turned to 11yo DD and was v.rude to her. I get that she felt inconvenienced (but it really wasn't for long), the dogs were beautifully behaved, but DD really didn't feel able to walk past and it would've been very easy for them to just walk past us. Owner then shouted again from other side of the hedge. DD shaking by this point and very tearful.
Thank you so much if you've got this far...
Walking to a class last night, encountered several dogs being walked. Not a problem, just waited or crossed the road. Eldest's anxiety escalating though. On a quiet resi street, a woman opens her front door (I think to get something from her car) and her dog legs it past her. Dog sees us and wants to say 'Hi'. We stay put - or try to - eldest panics, screams, and runs into the road.
Dog owner was fantastic, called her dog back, dog has amazing recall (seriously, I'm impressed), and held him until we were past. No passive aggressive comments or sarcasm, just kind and lovely.
I know we need to give DD more coping mechanisms, but seriously we have tried bloody everything over the years - I don't want advice on that right now, we're seeing the GP soon to see if they can do anything for her anxiety as well as reinforcing coping.
However, I feel bad for this owner and dog because friendly dog & lovely owner saw us at a really bad time for us and reacted in the best way. I feel v.grateful & quite teary. If you were in this situation, would a nice thank you card (explaining DD's behaviour) with maybe a doggy advent calendar be ok? Or is it OTT?