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Original poster

Would a vet help me in this way?

73 replies

SMJYellow · 21/11/2017 16:52

The familys dog is old. 13 years this winter.

She was diagnosed with arthritis last year and needs monthly medication. She was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. We didn't operate due to her age.

I think its long past time to put the dog to sleep. The dog is deteriorating. Not majority bit slowly. Like, she's not able to hold for toilet for long any more. I think she is also deaf.

Me wishing to put the dog to sleep is a battle with the family. My mother and one brother living at home.

I have a brother coming home in December around about the 10th. I was told, well wait for him to come home and then we will see what he thinks and decide then. I know in my heart and soul it will be delayed further. Its not fair on the dog any more. She has a lump the size of a deflated football or breakfast bowl on her belly.

I need to go over to the vet later in the week to pick up more medicine. If I was to talk to them and tell them what's happening,would they help me. I'd like to book the dog in with the pretendance of a blood test. The dog does need regular blood tests due to her medicine so it won't be far fetched. Then when the dog is in, hopefully put her to sleep.

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 21/11/2017 18:26

I am confused tho. You said 'another brother brought the dog home many years ago. He is now in Australia'

But the dog was registered in your sister's name?

GerrytheBerry · 21/11/2017 18:31

Bloody awful why is it your decision are you God?
If the whole family decides then it's the right decision but are you for real? You can't do what you are talking about.

Original poster
SMJYellow · 21/11/2017 18:31

Another brother brought the dog home. He did f all for the dog and emigrated to Australia. My sister took on the care of the dog as a puppy.

Eventually then, it was on me. Before the arthritis diagnosis, the dog was clearly in pain and my mother and the other brother living at home turned a blind eye to the dog and gave out to me for taking the dog to the vet and occurring more costs.

Mam helped me with the monthly cost, the brother at home was more than happy to turn his back and not help with the dog or costs.

OP posts:
Original poster
SMJYellow · 21/11/2017 18:32

If the rest of the family cared so much, maybe they would like to help with the cost of the dogs care. They don't care. Thy only calling the shots and that's about it.

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 21/11/2017 18:33

So i'm guessing you don't live at home? Who walked, fed etc the dog on a day to day basis? It sounds stupid to ask but if you took the dog on fully then the decision is yours. However if you moved out & your mum or someone else did the day to day care, you would be massively out of order to have the dog PTS behind her back

littlemissneela · 21/11/2017 18:33

I would say if your dog is suffering you need to talk to everyone.

The person who is not due back for aother few weeks needs to be contacted either by skype or phone and explain what is going on. It sounds like your poor dog is suffering and its not fair on it. Maybe they will say to go ahead and would rather remember the dog with good memories.

You could go to the vet for the bloods and ask if the dog is suffereing, just to have that information to give to your family.

Do not take it and have it put to sleep behind everyones back like that.

I hope you all come to a mutually agreed decision.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 21/11/2017 18:40

If the vet says PTS then tell the family that you’ve made the decision, it’s not up for discussion, advise them to say their goodbyes because it is happening. You cannot keep a dog alive who is suffering for the sake of family peace. Sorry but no, someone has to do right by the animal that has no voice.

Original poster
SMJYellow · 21/11/2017 18:43

Littlemissneela,

I've been talking about it for weeks but it's not happening from the family. They are turning a blind eye to the tumour on the dogs belly that's tripping up the dog.

I think given the dogs age, all the other problems with the dog, and indeed the families situation (my brother at home has no time for the dog and has no affection for her. The dog leaves the room whenever he comes in). Also the dog has lost interest in the stuff we used to enjoy together and she just sleeps and I think it's definitely time for putting to sleep. My mother isn't on board with this at all.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 21/11/2017 18:45

So take them and the dog to a vet or call the vet out.

mustbemad17 · 21/11/2017 18:47

In that case OP don't ask them. Tell them. If the dog is that unwell & the vet agrees, book an appointment - then tell the family. Your initial post came across as tho she was a much loved family pet; your last comment not so much. So do what you feel is right for the dog

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/11/2017 18:48

Take your mum to the vet with you, if she's the one who cares about the dog.

GardenGeek · 21/11/2017 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess · 21/11/2017 18:58

I would take the dog to the vets of arrange a home visit for the sole purpose of getting their professional opinion. Speak to them beforehand and explain the situation.

If the dog is suffering then I'm sure the vet will apply the correct amount of pressure to get them to agree to it.

Sad it's horrible they are putting their sentiments before ddog welfare Sad

Original poster
SMJYellow · 21/11/2017 19:01

I've been talking about it for weeks and it's not happening nor will it happen if it's left up to them. I have two brothers in Australia. One is coming home in December. The other one coming home in January. Once Christmas passes it will be another excuse to keep the dog going. How much more longer are we going to hang onto her for? The lump on her belly is huge? How much more bigger is it going to get?

As far as I'm concerned, the family has had a chance to be on board but they keep kicking the can down the road. Enough is enough. It has to happen.

Look it, would a vet help me at going down the route of the underhanded way. Book the dog in for a routine blood test but it's just an excuse to get the dog into the office and put her to sleep. I'm not willing to keep the dog going any longer.

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 21/11/2017 19:03

Unlikely they will take part in it. Don't book her in for a blood test, take her for a general MoT. Then you can discuss things with the vet & tell him how you feel. But be honest with your family. Don't lie to them. You're doing it for the dog nobody else

Original poster
SMJYellow · 21/11/2017 19:08

Mustbemad,

The only other option is for me to pull out from the dogs care completely including the organisation of the arthritis medicine and if the family care so much for he dog l they can pick it up and leave me out from everything. If they want to prolong her life, they can but leave me out from it.

OP posts:
Migraleve · 21/11/2017 19:09

Look it, would a vet help me at going down the route of the underhanded way. Book the dog in for a routine blood test but it's just an excuse to get the dog into the office and put her to sleep.

Just book the dog for PTS? Why does it have to be underhand? None of your family will be there when you phone to book the vet so won’t hear whether you say blood tests or PTS Confused

Important factor is the dog.

Wolfiefan · 21/11/2017 19:11

Bloody hell OP. This is a family pet. Take the dog and your parents for a vet consultation or ask for a home visit.
Seriously.
Do not sneak the dog away and lie.

mustbemad17 · 21/11/2017 19:14

If the dog is seriously unwell no decent vet will say no. They won't however take part in the underhand tactics, hence why I said book her in for an MoT. But TBH i'd just book her in to be PTS, tell the family this is what is happening, that's that.

A vet won't deny you putting the dog out of her misery if she is suffering. They just won't play supersleuth about it

QuantumPixies · 21/11/2017 19:15

If you do it in such an underhanded way, it will kill your relationship with your family. I don’t think I could forgive someone who did this to a pet of mine. Surely they have the right to say goodbye?

lljkk · 21/11/2017 19:16

I'd do it SMJY. Guilt Free, but be prepared for a ruckus. Pretend to family it was only after I asked a lot of questions to the vet. It's the kind thing to do. Good luck with your difficult situation.

RandomMess · 21/11/2017 19:17

Yep take them all with you to listen to what the vet says. Ddog needs to see vet I don't think she'll be coming home do you want to come and say your goodbyes?

BrioAmio · 21/11/2017 19:29

I’m with you OP, I had the same problem with DS’s family, it was done too late and the dog had been collapsing whilst people were out of the house at work.

If it were my family I would put my foot down and say that you are taking the dog on X day because she is in pain and suffering. It’s not a discussion.

littlemissneela · 21/11/2017 20:12

Fair enough. In light with how your family are with the dog, and seeing as you are the only one who shows her any affection, I would go and speak to the vet about what is going on. Is your dog usually asleep when having bloods done? Quite often vets will say during the procedure that it might be best to let them go then and not wake them up. Just tell your family you are taking her to the vets and if they say she is suffering you wont let it continue. Its up to them if they want to be there or not to say goodbye to her.
Poor dog :(

NoSquirrels · 21/11/2017 20:26

I think you've posted on this before, OP, and my opinion is the same.

Call vet, make appointment- any appointment! Take dog ("review of medication" if you need to tell your family why) and ask the vet their medical opinion. Fully brief them on your family's views and your concerns.

Get vet to call your mum - or you call and say vet says it's time, please come to say goodbye if you want to. PTS, but only after telling your family that it is vet-advised.

Any decent vet will help you with your family and persuading them if they also believe it is in the animal's best interests. They won't lie for you, but they'll help you by providing a strong medical opinion and then you can take the decision above board.