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Original poster

Partner refusing to sleep in bed without the dogs

14 replies

palsaml6 · 14/09/2017 23:17

Hi all,
I'm pretty new to Mumsnet but would really appreciate some advice on this topic.
Myself and my partner have had our dogs for around a year now and originally I wanted to keep them downstairs as puppies. My partner refused and said cause they were pups they had to sleep in the bed (our bedroom was very small so they didn't have anywhere to lay at the time so I understood to a certain extent)
However, we've moved house recently and I've managed to get them to sleep on the floor in the bedroom. We have just had a small infestation of fleas therefore I've said they aren't allowed upstairs because of the carpet. They are now settling downstairs and not crying at night and it's fantastic. My carpet and upstairs is so much cleaner and I'm hoovering half as much. I want to continue this for understandable reasons.

I now have a huge problem.

My partner is refusing to sleep upstairs with me (it's been about 4 days now) and is sleeping on a camp bed downstairs and says he won't sleep upstairs until the dogs are allowed to sleep in the same room as him.

I don't know what to do. I feel I'm being very reasonable and have valid reasons. Especially as my partner does no cleaning in the house so it's all down to me. I don't want our relationship to eventually break down over this but feel it's so unnatural to be apart like this.

Please help. He won't reconsider and says I'm putting our relationship on the line because of cleanliness however I feel he's being disrespectful towards me.

Am I being horrid?

Please help! Thank you x

OP posts:
Margomyhero · 14/09/2017 23:19

Dogs downstairs in someone else's housein my opinion.

Enjoy having the bed to yourself. Grin

Margomyhero · 14/09/2017 23:20

Srirkethrough fail.

Dogs downstairs in someone else's house in my opinion.

singadream · 14/09/2017 23:22

Yanbu

highinthesky · 14/09/2017 23:22

A clear case of dogging.

Travelledtheworld · 14/09/2017 23:23

Heck. Time to review your relationship in my opinion.
Sorry but I think sleeping with your dogs is disgusting.

Properjob · 14/09/2017 23:26

The point is not the 'darling' dogs but that you are having to clean up and your views are not being respected. But fleas. OMFG.
What about sex? Does he want them in the room then? Honestly I think he's weird. Does he ignore your wishes in other ways? That's the real issue.

ScarletForYa · 14/09/2017 23:27

He's being ridiculous. Showing where his priorities lie.

Allowing dogs into beds is gross.

Also he should be doing his share of the cleaning.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 14/09/2017 23:28

YANBU; he is being utterly ridiculous. Let him sleep on the camp bed; he'll come back soon enough when he's had enough rough nights.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/09/2017 23:29

I love my dog on the bed but I still think you're entirely reasonable

But that may be because she is worm/de flead/ de ticked monthly - who wants that upstairs Shock

Just enjoy having the bed to yourself, why should you be blackmailed? I'm sure there's a compromise in there but if he refuses to even discuss one (like he takes over all cleaning and flea treatment) then don't bother talking about it.

Just starfish

TableMirror · 14/09/2017 23:36

Soresto flea collars, only available on prescription but they stop fleas and ticks for 8 months at a time. I wouldn't be without one (for the dog, obvs).

Your husband is odd, I love my dog but DH doesn't want to share a bed with him, so we don't.

ImSoUnoriginal · 14/09/2017 23:38

He's being an idiot. They are dogs, not human babies. They do not need to be in your bed! Leave him on the camp bed. He's acting like a child and sulking.
I have a dog and a cat. The cat is allowed on the bed in the day, when I'm not in it. The dog is banned from the upstairs and has been since she was a puppy. If either of the animals were allowed in the bedroom at night, they would keep me awake and fill the room with hair. Can't be doing with that.
You are being perfectly reasonable OP and this is in no way cruel to your dogs.

ProfessorCat · 14/09/2017 23:39

He's clearly showing who he puts first in his life. Sorry, but he's being ridiculous and cares more about dogs than you. LTB.

CommanderDaisy · 14/09/2017 23:49

Wait him out. If he's on a camp stretcher he may not last that long.
It's not cruel, it creates a better "pack order". Dogs that sleep on beds tend to think they are the boss of the house.
We also have two, one outside ( massive German shepherd) and one Jack Russell. Neither sleep on beds or couches so they know who is in charge.
Buy him a dog training book to read while he is tossing and turning on the camp stretcher.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 22/09/2017 23:49

Let him have his way to have the dogs on the bed but you won't be having sex while they are in the bed......

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