Nearly 2y and 2nd litter. Am I doing things right?

[LeopardLips]

My cat is nearly 2 and she's had her 2nd litter of kittens. She had her first when she was 1 and she lay on 3 in a small bedding space I thought was safe for them and 3 of them died. We still have the other little kitten that survived. The 2nd litter came last night and she ended up having them in my livingroom.. There was nothing I could do our kids were in bed and it was too late to be emptying boxes from my daughters bedroom where she slept. I sorted it this morning and they're all happy and settled in a little box with covers and a small sheet that can go over the top to cut out the bright light. I've had a message from someone who is COMPLETELY obsessed with cats who said she is infuriated with me at the fact I've allowed her to become pregnant again so young and that I should be allowed to have cats at all. She jumped out the window when we were trying to keep her in before we could get her dressed and she managed to get caught that one time she went out.. Which has caused the kittens to obviously arrive now. I don't know how to feel.. I already feel like I do a shit job at being a mother and a wife, now it makes me feel like it's true if I'm being told by someone who knows cats, that I shouldn't even be allowed to have them! I don't know how I'm supposed to feel and it's making me anxious.. Aren't I doing things right?

Can someone take her to the vets for you? A partner or friend?

She really needs to be spayed and so does the other kitten. She looks content and happy in your photo and the kittens are feeding. But you really need to get this sorted which I think you realise.

Would it not be worth trying to mend your friendship with her? Quite frankly if you were my friend I don't think I would have spoken to you particularly nicely either as it's irresponsible to let cats breed time and time again when there are so many cats and kittens being put down every single day.

What about your DH , can he not take them, or go with you?

I want I do realise and I feel like a complete idiot for letting it happen. Knowing that she wasn't actually being mean about it has made me realise that I'm the fool. There's me thinking I knew what I was doing.

DH?

It's done now but you MUST get her neutered. Not only is she miserable when in season but if she gets out an intact Tom can smell her up to a mile away. Who then get lost, become strays or get knocked over. You not getting her done puts her at risk of stis. She doesn't need to have babies, please get it sorted even if you enlist someone to take her and bring her home.

Who takes her for her injections?

She needs to be spayed Leopard, my rescue cat is a girl owned by a breeder, she had 5 litters that were all sold on but its left my girl with some gynae and tooth problems & she's only 5. Repeated breedings do the mother cat no good at all.

Is your partner not able to take her to the vets?

DH is your husband :)

Cute kittens. Presumably your husband is able to leave the house unaccompanied? I would make an appointment to get her spayed at the appropriate time and ditto any kittens your decide to keep when they reach the right age.

Your husband, can he not either take them to the vets or manage it between you both and your gran?

Cats should be spayed at 4 months of age. It reduces the risk of breast cancer and other health problems

House cats should also be spayed as they're often desperate to get out when on heat and almost always get caught.

It basic responsible pet ownership

Shelters in the UK are overflowing with unwanted cats because of irresponsible owners who breed indiscriminately. It's sad that you've chosen to add to that problem. I'm not surprised your friend is upset. She's right - You have no moral high ground here

I didn't mean for the 2nd pregnancy to happen. We've been in the middle of a move from a temporary house into a permanent house. This was when she first arrived and freaked out, she burst out of the cat box.

It's not the end of the world that the cat had kittens.
The best thing for the cats (and for OP's mental health) is to get the cats neutered ASAP. Focus on this & don't get emotional about it.
Setting goals and getting them done will help your mental health a lot, OP.
Glad you found homes for the kits. Focus on now not anything in the past - you can't change the past.

Really, it's happened now, the OP can't magic up a time machine and go back and change it.

Get her spayed as soon as you can, and you might find you have a calmer and happier cat anyway as she won't be in heat and desperate to get out.

And apologise to your friend?

Oh yes, and find good homes for the kittens.

It wasn't what she said.. It was how she said it to me that hurt my feelings and how publicly she done it. It embarrassed me. Then she goes on about my mental health and how I spoke to her about it for help and how she regrets it. That's what hurt.

I can understand your friend's frustration. I understand that you didn't plan this situation but you also didn't take any responsibility in getting your cat neutered. It's frustrating when you care about animals to see them in situations where theses things 'just keep happening'. Why didn't you get her spayed as soon as she'd escaped from the box?

I think you need to accept that whilst you're upset at what your friend said, it's come from a place of frustration at the lack of responsibility you're take for your inaction.

As PP have said, focus on taking responsibility and demonstrating to your friend that you're being proactive in getting your cats neutered

Thank you.