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Original poster

I think I'm going to have to get our dog put down....

10 replies

daisydog · 06/12/2006 22:42

I just heard back from the vets today that our darling dog had got a tumour. She's got to go in again on Friday for more tests, but it's not looking good - how on earth do I break it to my little boys (5 and 4) who absolutely dote on her? It's going to break their little hearts (and mine - she was like our first "baby"), I can't bear it, She's not suffering at the moment -so do I wait till after Xmas, or is that just delaying it? I know I sound pathetic, and there's people with far worse problems, but I'm so upset. My older son will be distraught (when we went on holiday this summer he cried because he missed her so much!) he's so grown up and fiesty in other ways, yet adores the dog and looks after her really well. Please can anyone give me some advice on how to break it to the children - should they come to the vets and see her "go to sleep" - I think my oldest would be more concerned of he didn't know exactly what had happened, but I just don't know what's best - there must be some mothers wisdom out there, please?

OP posts:

fortyplus · 06/12/2006 22:51

So sad, isn't it?
Mine lost a cat when they were 3 & 4 and it helped them deal with losing first their Great Grandad then Grandad.
I would take advice from the vet. Then explain to the children what is going to happen... Dog has had a long, happy life, but her body is worn out so it's time for her to die. She is very lucky that the kind vet will help her by giving her an injection that will put her into a deep sleep, then her heart will stop beating and she will die. She won't feel sad - she will go to doggy heaven and will be able to run around again.
You can get her body cremated and scatter the ashes somewhere that she loved.
Reinforce the point that she's so lucky to have had such kind children to love her.

Then give the children the choice of what they want to do. I'd be inclined to encourage them not to come to the vet as if they get upset it will upset the dog.

They'll deal with it in their own way as long as they know that she won't be hurt or scared.

Thinkstoomuch · 06/12/2006 22:55

I'm so sorry. You don't sound pathetic at all - it's a very horrible time for you. My dog died recently after 12 devoted years, so I know that it's very painful. He was our 'baby' too, before ds arrived.

There may still be hope that medication or surgery can control her condition. If not, then on the timing I'd say to wait until after Christmas, for the children's sake but also so you can devote more energy and emotion towards making your dog's final days as good as they can be.

My instinct is that your children shouldn't be there when it's done. It's very, very upsetting.
My family dog had to be put to sleep when I was 17. Whether by plan or accident it happened to be when I was away on holiday with my mum so my father arranged it and it was all over by the time we got back. My father told me that our dog's last moments were in the sunshine in the garden, and I've always been very grateful that I had that image to hold on to and didn't have to see it actually happen.

PortAndLemonaid · 06/12/2006 22:59

I'm so sorry for you and your family. This kind of situation is so difficult.

If she's not suffering then I would leave it and try to make her last few weeks/months as happy as possible and build some more happy memories. That may also give you some time to prepare your DSs, so far as that's possible.

Some good books for children, if you're interested in going down that route, are

Goodbye Mog
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney
Badger's Parting Gifts

BuffysMum · 06/12/2006 23:04

Our beloved cat had a tumour, he had another 10 happy life to the full months on steroids after that diagnosis. You know beating up the dog next door, playful, happy etc

He went downhill very fast - one morning he was missing, came back after 24 hours & wouldn't eat. I took him and it was very very sad being with him so I wouldn't recommend that.

I'm really glad we had those months with him knowing that he didn't have long left, I really treasure those memories.

Waswondering · 06/12/2006 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

daisydog · 06/12/2006 23:23

Thank you all so much - you all just made me cry for being so kind...and great ideas from you all - great idea re the ashes...I lost my dad 3 years ago on 22nd Dec (not a good time of year for me!) and I was explaining to the children about where we scattered Dad's ashes, so i think they "get" that...thanks for the book recommendations - have alreday bought!! I think I'll try and wait till after xmas, and concentrate on having a really lovely time with her...and yes, i think we would consider getting another dog, although so difficult to imagine how anything could possibly replace the huge hole she's going to leave. Lots of love and hugs to you all- thanks again xxx

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FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 07/12/2006 11:22

I'm so sorry you're having to face this daisy. My dog is 15 and having health problems too. Vet thinks he has a growth on his cheek and it is so upsetting to think of him having to die.

It is just like loosing a person especially as pets don't intentionally cause you stress as humans do. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx

santasaltire · 07/12/2006 11:39

Of course you don't sound pathetic. Our much loved dog was put to sleep in July , she was 15 and we had had her for 12 1/2 years. We cried for days. I felt as though i had lost a family member - which i suppose she was. It was completely painless for her, and she was suffering, so it was a blessing
If it was me, and i had assurances from the vet,that the dog isn't in pain, i would wait till after Chrismtas. i know it's just delaying the inevitable, but you will have lots of happy memories of her at Christmas, and you have said already it's a difficult time for you.
I am dreading putting our tree up this year as our dog used to go and lie under it every year, up until christmas eve, when we put all the present from family under it.
i have another thread going about our other dog, i think she is greiving

MerryPiffmas · 07/12/2006 11:55

If your dog is ok for short term, let the children know she is going to get poorly and what you might have to do to help her as she one day soon will be very unhappy and in lots of pain.
this would give them the chance to get a few special times with her and then they might be a little more prepared when the time comes.

Original poster

daisydog · 07/12/2006 13:21

Big hugs to you SantaSaltire and FairyOTCT.

Santa...I hope Christmas bring back lots of HAPPY memories for you instead of sad ones. I think you're right about dogs grieving- my MIL had 2 dogs - when they had their Westie put down their spaniel went mad with grief, she became absolutley neurotic overnight - couldn't be left on her own for a second as she just howled - they had to take her to work with them, and out to dinner parties! She just got worse and worse and in the end they had to have her put down as she was so distressed.

Fairy - I'm so sad for you - I really hope it's good news ...xxx

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