we're rehoming our puppy [sob]

8 replies

geekgrrl · 10/10/2006 17:08

We've got a 7 month old golden retriever. Unfortunately he has a possession aggression problem with my little two and has bitten them several times now. Thankfully he has good bite control and has never actually caused a proper injury, but it is proper aggressive biting (including a full snarl, stiff body, growl etc.). The little two harrass him a lot ond to be honest I don't blame him for getting pissed off with it. I keep them apart, but it's not fair on the dog to be shut away all the time when the children are at home.
He's such a loving, friendly and fun dog though.
I've spent a lot of time discussing this with a behaviourist/vet. nurse (old friend of ours and also our local puppy trainer) who has known him since he was a tiny puppy, and she thinks he should live in a household without children. We have found the ideal place for him (good friend of this nurse, lives for the one golden retriever she already has who has had the same problem as ours, would love a second, childless, huge garden, outdoor person) and he's going on Friday.

It's going to be a positive thing for him, but dd1 in particular will be so bereft. She's never had a problem with him and has spent many happy hours cuddling him whilst watching telly etc. I don't know how to tell her.

I feel like a sh*t for bringing him into her life and then taking him away again. My vet. nurse friend says it's not our fault, that it's a genetic thing becoming common in golden retrievers, but I feel like I've failed everybody all-round.

OP posts:

greenday · 10/10/2006 18:04

I had to put our sickly elderly dog to sleep 2 weeks ago. Like you , I felt like I failed everybody (especially felt I let my dog down for not giving her enough attention).
Like you, I was worried that my 2yr old would be sad when she was gone. Like your DD1, she was very fond of our dog and cuddled her a lot, loved giving her breakfast / dinners, etc.
I told DD that dog was going to Doggie Heaven and that she was going to be very happy there (lots of walks, food, squirrels, etc). Didn't know if DD undrestood it but thankfully, she accepted it and hasn't been affected by her absence.
I am amazed how resilient children are and that they can understand more than we think. Maybe its because DD is too young to understand and in that case, I am thankful too. I've been very sad about losing our dog and the fact that DD hasn't been too affected by it has made my grieving process easier.
In any case, children have short memory. Maybe you could take them to visit your puppy if they miss him too much.
I think the fact that you are doing something about your children's safety (which is no.1 priority) and that you have taken the time and effort to find an ideal home for your dog, rather than put him in the dog's home, is a great testament that you have not failed anyone. I think your dog is fortunate in every way.
Good luck!

Original poster

geekgrrl · 10/10/2006 18:13

thanks greenday. so sorry to hear about you losing your dog.

I think I'll tell dd1 on thursday evening (he'll be picked up on Friday). She's 7 and really attached to him.

F*ck.

I do feel happy that at least he'll have a great home. It's too far to visit unfortunately but I'm sure his new owner will send us updates occasionally.

OP posts:

Cackle · 10/10/2006 18:43

We took on a gorgeous 6 month old retriever last year. He had no behavioural problems at all and was a soppy, gorgeous lad.

Within weeks I was hospitalised with the worst asthma of my life. It took us all by surprise, I haven't suffered since early childhood and then only mildly. The morning of telling my children that he was being rehomed was just awful. They were 9 and 6yo.

Children do get over things quickly but cope better if they feel able and allowed to express their sadness. Prepare for your child to be extremely angry. It would really help if she was involved in settling your dog into her new home and could withdraw at her own pace.

I really feel for you all.

greenday · 10/10/2006 22:13

Sorry! I really feel for you! It's good that new owner agrees to send updates. Maybe you could suggest to dd1 about starting a new diary and she could include all the updates from the new owners. All the best!!

Original poster

geekgrrl · 10/10/2006 22:56

cackle, that must have been really hard. And how scarey - I have asthma too and the (extremely rare) serious attacks I've had really freaked me out.

Just come back from meal out with dh. We've gone over this a lot today, spoken to friends and relatives with doggies and small children, and at least fully feel that this is an unusual and serious problem, and that we are making the right decision in letting him go.

It'll be hard to be at home on my own with no snout resting on my feet whilst I'm on the PC.

It's been a stressful problem though that has been going on for a long time, so it'll be good to have that worry not there anymore.

OP posts:

purpleduck · 14/10/2006 00:00

HELLO. We have a lurcher, and last year we were looking for a second dog at our local Dogs trust. It just so happened that our dogs littermate was to be rehomed so we jumped at the chance. She was a lovely dog but ended up biting my little girl on the face. Needless to say, we had to take her back (well, my husband did!). It was an awful day, we were all so sad. I think if we would have done things differently then she may have been ok (the dog), but i do cringe to think what may have happened if she bit a visiting child, or one while we were out walking. We still think of her all the time, but she just wasn't right for our home, it has to work both ways. It feels terrible, but the dog will be fine!!

purpleduck · 14/10/2006 00:00

purpleduck · 14/10/2006 00:01

oops didn't mean to post twice!

Flip