i want to get rid of the cats but my husband won't let me

lovelife15 · 2014-12-07T01:41:50+00:00

reluctantly agreed for my partner to have a cat after a lifetime of pestering and emotional blackmail. He knew i don't like cats and hate the fur so unfortunately i gave in and we now have 2cats. We agreed my husband would feed the cats, groom them and clean the litters including helping clean the house as i can't stand the fur. 2 years on and the husband stopped doing what we agreed and i was left to feeding the cats, cleaning the litters and the house as he lay on the sofa enjoying watching tele and using his laptop. After getting fed up i stopped doing anything for the cats and tried yo get my husband to do what he'd agreed. He never cleaned the litter for days and sometimes even a week would go by and the cats started doing their business on the carpet floor. Following this i limited their space to the conservatory but it got to a point where the house absolutely stunk and i had to get rid of the carpets because the smell was so bad. I also got rid of the litters and the cats started going out for the toilet. Now we are back to square one as the cats again are weeing and leaving poo presents on the floor again. My husband says it's all my fault as i got rid of the litters and thinks we should get them back but i want to get rid of the cats. He does nothing round the house and could cook a meal or iron his clothes if his life depended on it but is adamant he will clean the litters... he also said there is no way he will get rid of the cats, his words "I'd leave you but wouldn't get rid of my cats". What do i do? I'm sick of being the only one that does anything in our house and come to a point where i actually hate the cats. All i can think of is how to get rid of them

LittleBairn · 07/12/2014 01:48

Tell him to leave then. At the very least stop doing all the cat chores right now you are letting him away with it.

Original poster

lovelife15 · 07/12/2014 01:58

I have stopped now but I'm getting constant grief about having litters again and i know be will not keep up with it. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and constantly cleaning, always tired but am made to feel like I'm being unreasonable because I want to get rid of the cats.

OP posts:

runawaysimba · 07/12/2014 02:34

I thought, totally apart from the fact this is about more than the cats, cleaning cat litter when pregnant is really risky because of toxoplasmosis. Maybe tell him that?

Calmthefeckdown · 07/12/2014 03:08

I'd consider getting rid of your dh, he sounds awful! If he thinks cats are hard work, wait until your baby arrives...

You should not be dealing with the litter when you are pg as someone else has mentioned because of the risk of toxoplasmosis - if you HAVE to then please wear gloves.

Personally (and as a cat owner myself) I would get rid of the cats as their behaviour sound like they are quite distressed, they'd be better in a loving home with owners who can look after them properly.

Your post sounds like you don't much like your DH and he has no respect for you. If this is his attitude to looking after the pets he wanted so much I would be concerned for how things are going to progress in your relationship as you become parents. Do you have much RL support?

EssexMummy123 · 17/12/2014 22:49

Could you confine them to the conservatory?

Also, erm - your pregnant with someone that lets you do everything around the house? that might be more significant than the cat issue.

patienceisvirtuous · 17/12/2014 22:57

You already posted this exact OP and got lots of advice then. Why not take it?

'Get rid' of the cats by rehoming them with a local animal charity so they can live in a clean, loving home where they're not resented. Shame they struck unlucky with crap owners.

Then sort your feckless DH out.

WeAreEternal · 17/12/2014 23:07

Take him up on his offer.
Let him leave and take the cats with him.

bloodyteenagers · 17/12/2014 23:08

Tell him to fuck off and
Live elsewhere and he can take his precious cats with him.

Why would anyone want a child with this person?
Did he promise he will help out?

judydoes · 17/12/2014 23:08

What patience said.

And-he's not pulling his weight, not helping you and It's a partnership, you're not his slave.
The cats deserve a loving home. Does he pay them attention?Just not do the 'not fun' stuff?

Hedgehogsbuzz1 · 17/12/2014 23:10

Give him a time limit. Either he is caring for them properly or you will regime them
In January.

But seriously, having a child will highlight all the same issues even more.

steppeupunderthemisletoe · 17/12/2014 23:25

Give him an ultimatum. Put in writing the deal, pin it on the fridge.

litters every mon, wed, fri, sat (or whatever)
feed everyday
hoover twice a week
brush cats weekly

that was the deal, he has broken it. He steps up as of now or the cats go to rescue. His cats, he looks after them. If he leaves because of the cats, then good riddance he has no respect for you.

Any time a week goes by and he hasn't done his part, the cats go. If he cannot see he is being unreasonable, then you have bigger problems than the cats. he is a lazy arse.

blanklook · 21/12/2014 16:47

Find a new loving home for the cats, no wonder they are distressed in that atmosphere. They are not being cared for properly and you should not have to clean the trays etc.

In the meantime, choose the area you want them to frequent for socialising and sleeping. Whilst they are outside, steam clean it thoroughly. When dry, spray that area with Feliway and let it dry. It may help to settle them. Cats are very sensitive to atmosphere and will know they are not wanted
Get them new clean trays and treat them nicely until such time as you can find them a new loving home - NOT as xmas presents!

For everyone saying send them to a rehoming shelter, all the ones I know are bursting at the seams. OP, do ring around and see if yours can at least be put on a waiting-list.

Once you've taken care of their welfare, LTB

gamerchick · 21/12/2014 16:53

Think of the animals first.. they're living creatures and sound distressed.

Let him leave if he's threatening it... poor cats.

perplexedpirate · 21/12/2014 16:56

Please rehome those poor animals.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/12/2014 16:58

The cats are the least of your worries. I'd rehome.the poor things they deserve to be loved and looked after properly.

I'd rehome the husband too though.

Please find them. A good home.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/12/2014 16:58

The cats that is. couldnt give a shit where your dh ends up

oswellkettleblack · 21/12/2014 17:01

He is a lazy, feckless layabout. So you went and had a child with him. The cats are the least of your problems.

perplexedpirate · 21/12/2014 17:03

If I didn't already have two cats I'd have those poor creatures straight away.
Where are you OP? Could someone local suggest a rehoming service perhaps.

iamthenewgirl · 21/12/2014 17:06

Rehome those poor cats. You both sound as lazy as each other.

ths0105 · 21/12/2014 17:06

If you are pregnant you should not be in contact with cat faeces - Google Toxoplasmosis.

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 21/12/2014 17:09

This man can't even look after cats, why the fuck are you having a baby with him.

Rehome the cats, don't ask him, don't tell him, just do it.

The cats are the most easily solved and least of your worries.

Blubelle19 · 29/05/2024 06:53

How can I convince my partner to get rid of the cat. Everyday is a chore to have this cat, he wakes you up at 3am, 4am demanding food and if you don't get up and feed him he will throw up baring in mind he has food down to eat during the night. He's overweight but my partner insists he must eat 2x 85g packs of food in the morning, he then goes on to having another pack of food every 4 hours, when he does eat he flicks his food all over the floor and the walls. His litter is disgusting he makes such a huge mess that it's impossible to walk in the room without standing on litter, when he pee's even just the once it smells so bad like acid and I've had him checked at the vets for it (there's nothing wrong with his pee) when he wants to do a poo he cries for someone to go stand with him to do it, if he's pee'd in his litter 2x he'll refuse to use the litter and attempt to poo on our bed, matter of fact while my partner was in bed relaxing after work the cat decided to pee in front of him on the bed, he can't be left alone unattended because he's scratched a hole in the carpet. I just can't stand the cat anymore each day I'm sick of cleaning up after him I'm due to have a baby and the demands of that cat is too much and is just a burden to my life. But he is my partners cat and he's had him 5 years, there has been a discussion to get rid of him by my partners choice once and it was all planned to give him away and it never happened... I'm at the point where I wish I could just throw the cat out the window, I have nothing but hate for this cat and i really don't want him around our child (he's not aggressive in any way) but I don't want this dirty animal around him. he's that overweight he can't reach to clean his bum, my partner keeps saying he'll bath him but he never does, the cat in my eyes is just a filthy disgusting pig. But how on earth can I tell my partner I want the cat to go.

gamerchick · 29/05/2024 09:00

Blubelle19 · 29/05/2024 06:53

How can I convince my partner to get rid of the cat. Everyday is a chore to have this cat, he wakes you up at 3am, 4am demanding food and if you don't get up and feed him he will throw up baring in mind he has food down to eat during the night. He's overweight but my partner insists he must eat 2x 85g packs of food in the morning, he then goes on to having another pack of food every 4 hours, when he does eat he flicks his food all over the floor and the walls. His litter is disgusting he makes such a huge mess that it's impossible to walk in the room without standing on litter, when he pee's even just the once it smells so bad like acid and I've had him checked at the vets for it (there's nothing wrong with his pee) when he wants to do a poo he cries for someone to go stand with him to do it, if he's pee'd in his litter 2x he'll refuse to use the litter and attempt to poo on our bed, matter of fact while my partner was in bed relaxing after work the cat decided to pee in front of him on the bed, he can't be left alone unattended because he's scratched a hole in the carpet. I just can't stand the cat anymore each day I'm sick of cleaning up after him I'm due to have a baby and the demands of that cat is too much and is just a burden to my life. But he is my partners cat and he's had him 5 years, there has been a discussion to get rid of him by my partners choice once and it was all planned to give him away and it never happened... I'm at the point where I wish I could just throw the cat out the window, I have nothing but hate for this cat and i really don't want him around our child (he's not aggressive in any way) but I don't want this dirty animal around him. he's that overweight he can't reach to clean his bum, my partner keeps saying he'll bath him but he never does, the cat in my eyes is just a filthy disgusting pig. But how on earth can I tell my partner I want the cat to go.

You need to do your own thread. People will just answer to the OP.

Id probably tell your partner it's abuse to overfeed an animal so it's that overweight like. Poor little bugger.