Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Flip

Original poster

First baby and worried how doggy will react

21 replies

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 07/10/2006 17:08

I'm not due 'til early March, but have been thinking about this, and thought I may as well get some tips now.

My dog is 2, and a real live-wire - but also very affectionate and cuddly.

She's well-trained, but I also feel we give her a bit too much attention. I'm concerned that she'll react badly - be jealous - when the baby arrives.

I've already decided to cut the amount of attention I give her (and am trying to get DH to do the same), but am wondering if anyone has any tips?

She's great with my friends' kids, but sometimes gets screamed at (for no reason) by kids in my (South London) park, and is wary of children in general.

My gut feeling is that she's not going to be one of those dogs who get all maternal.

Just to clarify, I don't intend to leave my LO alone with her, and they will be closely supervised when together.

Any advice much appreciated.

OP posts:

squarewolf · 07/10/2006 19:06

You need to imagine how things will be in March amd try to replicate it now so the dog does not associate any changes with the baby.

I had absolutely NO idea whatsoever about how things would be after having the baby but I was and am blessed with a lovely and tolerant dog.

I think that the most important thing is that she sees you both as boss now. Then when you have the baby, your looking after baby will be seen as one of the things that the boss does IYSWIM. You then teach the dog that the baby is above her in the pack by using your puppy training techniques of ignoring (etc) if necessary.

I think it is great that you are thinking about it like this by the way

squarewolf · 07/10/2006 19:08

Just wanted to add, I am not saying that your dog is not lovely and tolerant

Original poster

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 08/10/2006 10:14

Thanks squarewolf!

Someone suggested dressing a doll in a worn, unwashed babygro and cuddling it, but that sounds a bit mad.

Anyone else been advised to try this?

OP posts:

lilymolly · 08/10/2006 11:35

What we did was alter the dogs behaviour before dd was born.
I.E If you dont want dog upstairs stop it now
if you want her to not jump up, stop it now
if you want her to not go on setee stop it now

you see where i am going!!
in other words the dog will not associate changes with baby iyswim, if you suddenly change dogs habits when baby is born she may resent it, better to do it now so she cant "blame" the baby when life changes for her.
We have 3 year old lab who was my "baby" for 3 years, and I was really worried, but she loves dd, and is very good with her, a little boistrous at time, when she gets excited and she used to lick her a lot when she was first born, but we seem to have stopped that too. We involve dog in everything we do! she sits next to bath when dd gets bathed, she lies at my feet when I give dd last bottle before bed etc, and the dog has had loads of walks with dd as I have been off work for a year!!!!! so its like all her xmas have come at once! she is however very protective of us now, and will bark at others and has become a little bit stroppy with other dogs, so beware of this. But dont worry, I am sure it will be fine. The advice about the doll sounds like a good idea, as is taking dog to hear a baby cry, and we also took a babygrow home with dp the day I had dd with her scent on it, whilst we where still in hospital, so dog got used to smell of dd, and when I came home, I went in the house alone, and made a real fuss of dog, then we introduced dd when dog had calmed down. good luck x

GuppinBuppin · 08/10/2006 11:51

this may sound silly but bug your dog as much as possible, Poke her in the eyes, pulls her tail and ears etc.
that way when the baby eventually does it (cause s/he WILL) she'll be used to it.,

magnolia1 · 08/10/2006 14:14

I don't think it is actually a good idea to poke your dog in the eye just in case a baby might do it

lilymolly · 08/10/2006 15:29

I ensure DD does NOT pull or poke her in eye, but appreciate that she may when I am not looking in few years time. I think it is important to NOT let dd hurt dog as she would be justified in snapping back imo

magnolia1 · 08/10/2006 15:33

Absoloutely, Lilymolly

Munz · 08/10/2006 15:39

hi, we did as lilly did, esp witht eh baby grow thing - basically anything that went on joey/we used with him the dogs had to smell. I also cut down on the attention I gave our two. we also from a young age stronked the dogs with his hand on our laps iycwim. neither of ours have really paid any attention to the boy - well they are now hes crawling, I felt thou it was important early on to encourage the dogs to come and sniff and be gentle etc touch wood it's working.

our GSD was just under 3 when Jeoy was born - not sure if it's his age or cos we have the boy but he's really settled down. our staff on the other hand sulks now in her bed as she used to get 95% of our attention our of the two, so when the boy's nappin I go and play witht eh dogs on our own and we ensure when the boy's in bed on a night they have lots of play/cuddles etc. also slings are fab for walking dogs and keeping baby close.

Munz · 08/10/2006 15:41

for the poking bit - i'm 6/7's on it, we taught our two not to bite by shoving our fingers in their mouth and then tapping the nose when they bit it - now when Joey does try to grab their mouths they move their heads away, and normally get up and move away from him. (obviosuly thou never leave the dog/baby alone) we had a baby gate on the front room door as well just to make sure.

GuppinBuppin · 09/10/2006 08:56

I didn't mean to abuse your dog or anything.
since our dog was a puppy i've always just pestered him. played with his face and ears and stuff. it wasn't cause we were going to have a baby becasue at the time i was adamant that i wouldn't. but in the long run it turned out so well because the dog has infinite patience with DS. He climbs all over him, pulls his ears plays with his mouth and the dog just lays there. and when he's had enough he just gets up and leaves. Maybe it;s not the ideal solution for everyone but ti worked for us.

Roskva · 09/10/2006 10:48

I had the same concerns about my dog, a very spoilt pomeranian, but so far things are working out fine. While I was pregnant I started training him not to jump on our bed and only to come on the sofa if invited. We made the decision to leave his bed where it has always been, in our bedroom.

When I brought my baby home from hospital, DH carried her in and I made a fuss of the dog. Now I try (and this is the hard bit with a new baby) to have some time alone with my dog, even if it is a very short walk (this is good for my sanity too, btw). I can now feed dd with the dog curled up next to me on the sofa. I let him sniff her, and lick her toes and hands (and keep a good supply of wet wipes round the house for washing dd's hands afterwards!). I've also taught him to stay off a blanket I put on the floor sometimes for dd to have some floor play time. HOwever, I would not leave her and and the dog unsupervised together - no point inviting accidents. My midwife actually recommended letting the dog sniff at the baby in a supervised way, and suggested giving the dog a piece of clothing worn by the baby.

If you are going to use a moses basket or carry cot on a stand, it is a good idea to start training your dog not to touch it before the baby arrives, especially if the dog is big enough to reach into it/boisterous enough to knock it over. With small dogs, be aware that the dog could get into a moses basket from a bed/sofa, etc - I came out of the bathroom one day to find my dog sat on the bed peering into the moses basket!

Good luck - I'm sure your dog will be fine, especially if you make he does not feel pushed out by the baby.

Original poster

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 09/10/2006 11:34

Thanks for all your replies

Was at the outlaws yesterday being given hideous baby-gros (smile graciously - put them on when they come over etc...), so no MNing for me.

I feel better after reading all your posts, as we do most of this anyway. We do like cuddling her on the sofa, but she's only ever been allowed up when invited, as otherwise she would run straight in from the muddy garden and jump up.

Also we've already got dog-gates for the 2 bedrooms as she had bad separation anxiety as a puppy and could be quite destructive.

We trained her in soft-mouth by play-fighting with her, then squealing in a high-pitched voice and turning our backs on her when she nipped. We've always played with her ears etc, and she's learned to be very tolerant. Not sure about poking her in the eye though .

It'll be fine, I'm sure. Thanks everyone

OP posts:

mummymic · 09/10/2006 13:46

when i brought dd, and then ds, home from hospital i allowed both of my dogs to come and have a really good sniff - and a lick if they wanted! - the only thing i had was that my rottie (now 8) fretted when the babies cried - if she could have taken them to bed and mothered them she would!! it only lasted a couple of weeks - my dogs are not realy interested in the kids anymore unless they have food

bottomburp · 10/10/2006 00:12

Whoo i got the fab soundsscary cd with a 20min babycrying track and also children playing track.website is soundsscary.com i think.good instructions ie start with vol so low dog just pricks ears up then get louder and louder.basically my dog got bored rigid by crying and started just to curl up and go to sleep when sound came on.since we had DD he always goes to sleep when she crys, usually under her cotbut it is defo no big deal.loads of friends with babies comment on how chilled out he is with babies crying.
my biggest prob was that during my month maternity leave i had loads of time with my dog, lots of cuddle time and i had to comsciously make time where i left him on his own or in another room.i have walked dog every day for at least an hour, usually 2 since DD 6 wks, was lomger than hoped because of emerg c-section.DD and dog both love appearanceof baby bjorn!

Original poster

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 10/10/2006 11:27

Bottomburp: that CD sounds like a good idea. It's children screaming etc in the park that startles her (especially when they do it in her face ), so that sounds like it could really help.

Thanks for that!

OP posts:

greenday · 10/10/2006 19:55

My dog was fine with arrival of baby but her behaviour changed when dd turned one. It was the crawling. Apparently, crawling babies are like puppies to them and they act like inquisitive puppies too. So watch out for your dog's behaviour when your baby starts crawling.
I checked the internet for tips on what to do. Didn't find many websites dealing with 'after baby arrives' although there were lots on 'before baby arrives'.
Anyway, here are the tips I found most useful :

Give dog attention when baby is around. Although it is tempting to give attention only when you can (ie, baby asleep), it is important that dog associates their happiness with the baby. So when you're giving dog affection with baby, dog feels happy and does not resent baby.
Do not acknowledge dog when you come back home. Walk right in and carry on with your household tasks and about 10 min later, greet dog as with you've just noticed he/she's been there. That way, dog does not expect too much and it is put in its place.

Good luck!

Original poster

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 11/10/2006 13:51

Hi greenday.

We've been using the 'ignore' technique since we got her as a puppy (I read 'The Dog Listener'), so that's ok.

She's great with my friend's lively 2.6 DS, so I'm not so worried about that.

She largely ignores him now (although it's very cute when he throws her ball all of a foot and she fetches it back to him).

OP posts:

Haily111 · 12/10/2006 17:48

Hello! Hope i am not too late for this...my aunty had a similar situation. I agree with everything that has been said. The most important thing really is that (as said before) the dog knows whos boss and the hierarchy of the household. She used to make the dog walk behind her up the stairs (with baby afterwards as well), she also used to eat (sounds daft i know) first and then give the dogs food last. It is all about the 'Who is boss syndrome'.

Hope this helps. x x x

bottomburp · 15/10/2006 22:57

who is boss stuff is bit outdated now, most important is consistency.ignoring when coming in is v.helpful as calm doggy when entering house with little ones makes life easier.

lovingmumof1 · 20/10/2006 21:32

I had worries when I fell pregnant with my DS as my dog was only 3 nearly 4 months, but when DS arrived and I came home from hospital he was fine I let him sniff but not to close. I think the thing that helped him settle was that I was in hospital for a couple of days, so my DH was bringing the clothes home to wash and letting the dog sniff them. So this maybe an idea for you to think about.

Flip