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Original poster

Calling all dog owners....please help me decide!

54 replies

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 21:36

Hi there, to cut a hugely long story short, DH and I are just beginning to think about getting a dog. We're by no means certain but just assessing the situation at the moment.

Our situation is this:
I work 3 days a week, FIL could pop in on the three days i work or even possibly the dog could go to him.
We have Dd - 20 months
We have 2 house cats
I would like another baby within the next two years as well.

So, are we kidding ourselves? Is a dog not for us at all. I don't want to offer a dog a home and then realise we can't cope / offer them a good home.
If a dog is for us which breed would you recommend? Rehomed or bought from new (iyswim)?

Any advice would be appreciated. As I said, we've not set our hearts on a dog yet and I'd rather not get to that stage then find out it's just not possible! TIA x

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aDAdOnMumsnet · 30/09/2006 21:43

Although I've never owned a dog, I love them and would love to in the future. I just know that our cat would never forgive me - she has forgiven children, but dogs would be a no-no. It can work with some cats though. I don't see any other problem.

fwiw I would always get a rehomed pet.

Macdog · 30/09/2006 21:51

i've given homes to 2 older dogs. my collie was 9months when i got her, she lived to 9years.
my springer was 2years when we got him, now 4 years.
my dh worked 9-5 mon-fri + i worked different day shifts and we juggled dog walking between us, but you've got dogsitter lined up!
why not contact your local Dogs Trust rehoming centre. they can offer advice on what would suit your family.
don't know if this has been much help to you, can't seem to write the way i'm thinking, sorry

Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 21:53

I know what you mean, my 2 cats would probably be ok, they get on well with my Mum and Dad's dog but then again, I suppose she goes home and leaves them to their own space. My moral side says rehomed is best (my family have always rehomed) but then I worry about animals with baggage and a young Dd.....perhaps I just worry too much!

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Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 21:55

That's true Macdog, an older dog could be an idea. I'm cetainly not desparate to go through all that puppuy training. Suppose the right kind of older dog would be calmer too.

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lilymolly · 30/09/2006 22:04

hi here are a few of my thoughts and we have 3 year old lab, did have a cat, have 2 horses, 2 cows and 8month dd!!!!!!

having dog is HUGE commitment
Dogs can get on well with cats
Labradors are great breeds to have with lo.
Who will have dog when you go on holiday
Puppies are a "blank" canvass, you train them as you see fit and you know their history, but they are very hyper.
Older dogs are calmer, and require maybe less exercise but you may not know anything about them.
I LOVE my dog and would not be without her, but I would not have a dog like a labrador unless I had space and time and inclination, we have 5acres of land, I work from home on some days and I will put water proofs on a walk dog in rain,hail and snow.

I would think very carefully about this.

Peggotty · 30/09/2006 22:08

Be careful about getting an older dog, you won't know it's background, and even if staff at a rehoming centre say it's ok with children, they can't possibly be totally sure. I think you will struggle to get a rehoming center to rehome a dog to you as your ds is only 20 months, a lot of them have a minimum age of 4 or 5 i think. Your best bet is probably getting a puppy as it can grow up with your kid/s from the very start. One of the nicest breeds with children are King Charles Cavalier spaniels, but they are unfortunately quite prone to heart problems. I used to work at a vets and a lot of the vets had Border Terriers, a pedigree dog but with barely any associated congenital problems (but as they're terriers, quite strong characters!) Nothing wrong with good old Heinz 57-ers though! Good luck.

Peggotty · 30/09/2006 22:09

Oh yes, labradors are LOVELY - bloody greedy though!!

Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:12

Thank you, all comments are being mulled over. We are very very aware dogs are a huge commitment and I'm kind of edging towards the uncertain area again! Dh is definitely more up for this but I'm not against it....shut up HM, you're rambling!!
Good points about older dogs and I hadn't even thought that rehoming places would not rehome to a house with a 20 month old. Hmmmmmmmm....

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taffy101 · 30/09/2006 22:14

You could rehome a dog that has been used to cats (we rehomed a cat that was used to dogs iyswim). Our dog was from a rescue centre and she was a year old and had lived with children so very laid back. She is a cross breed too which makes her less prone to health problems associated with pure bred dogs and less hyper. You can usually get a good angle on the pet's history at a rehoming centre so I would go that route, also if not a pup no house training to sort out. Dogs and kids are good cos it makes you get out of the house and go for a walk even if you don't want to - but makes you glad you did!

lilymolly · 30/09/2006 22:37

HM- dont want to put you off, cos having a dog is the most wonderful thing you could ever have (after kids [wink)) just make sure its what you want.
Agree with taffy- you do get loads of exercise which is great for you and family. My lab brings me the lead when she wants to go out, and rolls her eyes at me you cant say no to that now can you?
P.S dp thinks I love dog more than him, maybe I do!!

jasper · 30/09/2006 22:39

Are you mad?

go and pat someone else's dog then tear up several ten pound notes each month and tramp mud all over your carpets.Amounts to same thing.

Don't do it

Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:40

Sorry lilymolly, didn't mean to make it sound like I was taking offence! I think part of the 'problem' is that I know how much having a dog changes the way you can live your life. I want one but know that wanting one doesn't make it right! Think we may pop into our local blue cross centre tomorrow and have a chat.

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Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:41

jasper

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MamaGlamourPuss · 30/09/2006 22:42

I love my 3 year old labrador, he's very much part of the family but you have to walk them rain, sleet, snow etc otherwise it's relaly not fair. When you say your FIL could pop in on teh 3 days you work, is that really enough? I'm lucky in that myself and DH both work part time so he's very rarely left alone for more than, say, a couple of hours. I think he'd be very miserable alone for three days, with just someone popping in once ad ay to let him out for a wee!

lilymolly · 30/09/2006 22:44

Good point jasper- be prepared to not have a clean house dog hairs, muddy paw prints etc etc etc........
I Knew you did not mean offence. just don't want to put you off, you do what is right for you and family.
Actually think you are brave thinking about this as hard as you are, we impulse bought our lovely dog, no regrets but did not think hard enough. Especially brave following all the bad press about dogs this week.

lilymolly · 30/09/2006 22:46

Mama glamour- do you love your lab more than dh?

Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:47

Think Dh was very much hoping FIL will say he'd have them all day (FIL is not always in the best of health, prone to depression etc and a dog would be good to get him out of house too) but then, there is also the chance FIL may not be able to do one day and poor dog would be left for a few hours. Wow! This mnetting lark is good for thinking around all aspects of a decision isn't it? SHaring all this with DH as thread continues (he's beginning to look a little crestfallen but then, if it isn't right, it isn't right).

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LittleB · 30/09/2006 22:47

Most rehoming centres I know of won't rehome a dog to a house with children under 5 as they can't predict how they will be with young children (I used to work as a dog warden and would be wary of ones who did as the reasons are for childs safety and dogs long term homes). I've had two rescue dogs, one we had for 4 years and he was great but had problems when my dd came along and we had to rehome him, the other is now 14, and I've had her for 8 years, but she has had various training problems that have taken alot of time to get over. The next dog we get will be a puppy, as although they are harder work I feel I would need to trust a dog totally now I have a dd. I'd recommend mongrels as they are so much healthier. My 14 yr old is collie cross and is still very fit and easily walks 5+ miles. Perhaps something cross retriever or lab as they are very gentle. Collies are great fun too, although they need loads of excercise!
I hope you find the dog thats right for you.

Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:49

Thanks lilymolly I do think a lot about most things (DH would say that is my downfall!)I'd never forgive myself if we got one and the poor dog had a miserable life though.

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nearlythree · 30/09/2006 22:51

We had a lab for 13 yrs and whilst we loved her to bits I was a bit relieved when the poor soul died, as with baby dd1 and dd2 on the way we just couldn't give her the attention she needed, it was very unfair on her but she was too old to rehome. Now we have ds too and there is no way I would get a dog until ds is at school, and maybe not then. Remember, you can't just go out fo rthe day - you have to arrange for someone to walk the dog, feed it etc. Dogs need much more planning ahead for than cats.

If I was to get another dog I'd put my name down with Guide Dogs for one of their 'rejects', they are often rejected because of things like chasing pigeons which doesn't matter to an ordinary family pet. The downside is a massive wait (2yrs or more) - the plus side is a dog bred for temperament who has been impeccably trained.

MamaGlamourPuss · 30/09/2006 22:51

lillymolly - ummmmm maybe equally

lilymolly · 30/09/2006 22:51

one thing i forgot to mention cos did not think it was important, but I have had depression and getting out for walk with dog is one of the best remedies I can recommend and will help FIL enormously.
can you think about sharing the dog with in laws?

taffy101 · 30/09/2006 22:52

I don't think a dog would have a miserable life with you - you sound far too caring. In any case a rehomed one probably would be eternally grateful for you taking him away from where he was iyswim

lilymolly · 30/09/2006 22:54

good point,nearly three, about going out for the day.
You see it depends on what your life style is. We live in country and take dog out with us where ever we go, walks, agricultural shows etc. We are not the type of family to shop in a mall all day IYSWIM. The dog is always taken into consideration what ever we do, and I think that is important.

Original poster

HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:55

I didn't know Guide dogs did that (rehomed 'rejects' that is), worth thinking about definitely.
Lilymolly, would be great if we could but MIL is a clean freak of the highest order! FIL would love it but don't think he could sway her unfortunately

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