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Original poster

Probably losing our old dog today and i can't handle it very well, so how can i help the DSs?

26 replies

saltire · 20/07/2006 08:28

Our lovely old dog is 15.We have had her 12 1/2 years. over the past couple of months she has been going downhill. She had an incontinence problem, and her arthritis was getting bad. However she was still going out for walks, eating well etc. Then the other day we noticed that a big lump had appeared in her mouth. She has had it removed twice in the past, but there is no way she would be able to survive another op. Anyway, i'm going to my mums with DSs and dogs for a few days and when we got back we were going to have achat with the vet. however we have woken this morning and she can't walk at all, so DH is off to work and is going to phone the vets.
But i am like a snivelling wreck, and keep bursting into tears, and i don't know how or what i'm going to tell the Ds. I have mindees coming in an hour and just feel so upset.
My DH just keeps telling me to remember what she used to be like, she was always looking for sticks and running after footballs, even if it was someone else playing with them, but every time i think of her i just go into floods of tears. I'm 35 FGS and feel pathetic.
DH is going to call me once he has spoken to the vet

OP posts:
FioFio · 20/07/2006 08:30

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harpsichordcarrier · 20/07/2006 08:36

oh don't feel pathetic! I am welling up reading your post. poor you
I think the only thing you can do is be as truthful and natural with your ds's as you can. it isn't a bad thing for them to see you upset. Feelings like this aren't to be afraid of and it is good and healthy for them to see you experience and cope with them.
poor you

Sherbert37 · 20/07/2006 08:58

So sorry for you all. We are facing a similar problem with our cat who is very old and very up and down. My DD adores her but DD is away this week at camp and I am just hoping the cat can hang on until Saturday when she is back. Can't work out whether the hot weather is affecting her as she isn't eating much but seems chirpy otherwise. These animals were our first babies really.

Original poster
saltire · 20/07/2006 09:00

That's how i feel about the dogs sherbert, that they were my first babies!
I feel like i'm losing a member of my family

OP posts:
SueW · 20/07/2006 09:07

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

SueW · 20/07/2006 09:07

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

throckenholt · 20/07/2006 09:11

don't feel stupid - just let them se that you are upset and that that is ok - and you can all have a good cry together. It is all part of llife's rich tapestry (as they say) and it is good for them to learn how to deal with grief and death.

Hope you feel better soon - it is a horrible time to go through.

glitterfairy · 20/07/2006 09:12

I really feel for you Saltire my first proper dog was really my baby and when he had to be put to sleep I was a wreck in front of the kids as well. They coped better than me and supported me although they did say is mummy ever going to stop crying? IN the end we got another but I dont care about him even a fraction as much as he is a family pet. The children still remember our first dog four years on and it is good that their experience of death comes I think in this form nowadays it prepares them for it better. We buried his ashes under a rose bush and made a ceremony over it with poems the kids had written.

Original poster
saltire · 20/07/2006 11:05

DH is taking her to the vets at 2.30!
I am still a pathetic crying wreck, and probably will be all day. I probably sound horrible, but i hope the vet keeps her, i couldn't handle it if DH brings her home for us to bury. I don't know if the vet will do what has to be done though, not sure what the procedure is

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 20/07/2006 11:07

We lost our family dog when he was 13 (and I was 14). I still have a wistful tear when I see another cocker spaniel even now.

Original poster
saltire · 20/07/2006 15:48

Dh is back home, he's in a worse state than i am, i don't know how he drove home. We are getting her ashes back next week to scatter!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 20/07/2006 15:50
Sad
trinityrhino · 20/07/2006 15:51

oh hun, huge for you

MrsMills · 20/07/2006 15:53

So sorry saltire

leander · 20/07/2006 15:53

i feel so sad for you i would be devasted if it were my dog.xxxx

cupcakes · 20/07/2006 15:56

I'm so sorry. Hope it goes well when you talk to your ds's.
xxx

supermum44 · 20/07/2006 16:00

So sorry for you. I know how you feel and have tears in my eyes reading your post.

cadbury · 20/07/2006 16:05

I just wanted to say how sorry I am

My dog Sandy died (had been similarly ill to yours) nearly 10 years ago. I cried everytime I thought about her for a long time - especially on my wedding day - sounds daft but she was one of the family. A couple of days ago, I was at my parents house and dad was cleaning out the pond and under the shed, we found a bucket load of her old balls and it felt like she was still here. and now I'm laughing and welling up thinking about her silly face waiting for me to kick her ball.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you aren't being pathetic and that I hope it won't be long before you will think of your dog and laugh together as a family. Maybe in a few days, when it isn't quite so raw, have a chat with the kids about where to scatter her ashes (or bury them - and what with - her favourite toy or something) and plan a special family time do say goodbye togehter.

2labs · 20/07/2006 16:33

So sorry. Sounds like she had a great life with you.

glitterfairy · 20/07/2006 16:46

I am really sorry saltire!

wilbur · 20/07/2006 17:12

Oh saltire, I'm so very sorry. It's heartbreaking to lose a pet and to have to make that decision. The cat I had growing up (got him when I was 5 and he died when I was 23 - I'm looking at a little photo of him in my study right now) was incredibly special to me and I think it's wonderful that your children have a chance to have that kind of relationship with an animal, even though it is so very hard to say goodbye. Take care.

FioFio · 20/07/2006 17:13

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sweetmonkey · 20/07/2006 17:19

so sorry about your dog.

i lost my retreiver called drifter in feb and it was heartbreaking. i still miss him loads and he will always be my best friend.

allow yourself to cry as it does help even though it wont bring her back. i had drift cremated and just knowing he is with me gives me such comfort and peace of mind.

again im so sorry for your loss

x x

sweetmonkey · 20/07/2006 17:19

so sorry about your dog.

i lost my retreiver called drifter in feb and it was heartbreaking. i still miss him loads and he will always be my best friend.

allow yourself to cry as it does help even though it wont bring her back. i had drift cremated and just knowing he is with me gives me such comfort and peace of mind.

again im so sorry for your loss

x x

Original poster
saltire · 21/07/2006 07:19

Thanks for all your sympathy messages.
It was awful telling the DS's what had happened. The youngest took it very badly, he's 6. He kept asking questions like
"Who will look after her in heaven till one of gets there?". I really didn't know what to say. DH told him that my dad will look after her for us.
DH and i had a chat about her last night, remembering all the things we did with her. We have decided to take her ashes with us in three weeks when we go back to my mum's and scatter them on one of the hills there, as we used to go up the hills everytime we visited mum, and the dog loved it.

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