Putting our cat to sleep...I need to call the vet today.

[HappyJoyful]

I'm a jibbering wreck over this decision and certainly don't feel like an almost 40 year old 'grown up' and thought perhaps I could seek clarity and hopefully comfort and rational thought here..

So the long and short of it is that my (I say mine as I've had him from a kitten for 14 years and DH, of 5 years isn't a 'cat person' and I know what he thinks, therefore the decision fall weighty on my shoulders) poor cat has had a lump on his leg for a good number of months now, it's burst and been treated with antibiotics, but never healed. On the last trip to the vets the vet said it was a tumour and possibly cancer.

She gave me two option of having an operation, depending on what the outcome of the antibiotics was and if it healed - and I hate to say it but as she said, it would be costly, in the region of £320, and then a biopsy, in the region of £90, to confirm her diagnosis or if it didn't just heal then in her words 'they wouldn't judge me if I wanted to have him put to sleep as he was elderly'

Whilst the lump is all gammy and leaking pus- he does however, seem sort of unconcerned, he still has an appetite (possibly in my mind, as I hate to admit otherwise and he is getting skinny) and he's not limping or anything

SO this is where I struggle. He can't continue with like this - he's currently confined to living in the kitchen (though does go out) I feel mean, evil and cruel thinking we 100% can't afford the operation and all the fees associated with it, to not prolong the life for long and therefore putting him to sleep does seem the kindest, most rational decision ? Doesn't it ?

Sorry for long post - please be gentle, as I say, I feel absolutely agonised by feeling cruel, irresponsible and wracked with guilt to be contemplating putting him to sleep and can't bear to think today is his last day...

I hate needles as well but the vet usually took them away to put the canula in and then injected the stuff into that whilst I looked away.

The cat is old- you'd only be putting him through an operation for yourself really.

Are you driving there? I found driving home really hard the last time as the tears and snotters were blinding me. (I am an ugly crier). So you might want your dh to do that.

My mutt has just returned from the vets this morning after costing £1100 to remove his spleen and a massive tumour. We had him ultra sounded first and without a shadow of a doubt if the tumour had of been anywhere else or spread we would not have done it, if the vet has said it won't prolong his life then there is no point putting him through the operation.

Big hugs though, my bro made me take him in, just in case he didnt come out again, he was in bits.

Didn't make appointment last night, as I said it felt rushed and I wasn't prepared, but have woken up knowing it's the right thing despite feelings of intense guilt. He's dined on ham and fish and I've taken a couple of photos and shall take him this afternoon.

He's looking so thin and his coat is no longer sleek and glossy.

DH was very supportive last night and was upset too and said how much he'd miss him too which was nice and we've hatched a plan for we'll say when dd says anything about.

thanks hugely again to all, it was a huge comfort last night when I was still mulling the whole thing over to know that I was doing the right thing.

As far as DD (7) knows, SoupKitten's heart just stopped. However, I was honest with the DSs (14 & 12).

Good luck for today
x

Thinking of you today x

Thinking of you and for later x

Oh happy, I really feel for you. I went through this in October and it broke my heart. Managed to upset DP, the vet and a couple in the waiting room!!

Now my DM is having to go through this tomorrow with her beloved girl. Something neurological the vet said (like my boy.) DM is in bits over it already and planning a cosy evening of cuddles, tuna and chicken. Dcat has actually gone outside for a walk as not in so much pain with a steroid shot but she can't poo and is wincing in pain and making noises. I'd like to support DM tonight but she's not feeling sociable and I'm still not over my Dboy!!

When you know, you just know.

been thinking about you. Glad you've had your cuddles.

I couldn't bring myself to tell DC for about 6 months - I just said she was at the vets whenever they asked. I'm not very good at facing upto things! the bigger 2 found out but ds2 who was about 4 didn't find out until recently - he still talks about her all the time and it some how made it feel as if she hadn't gone completely. Do what you need to.

Thank you all for your kind words..
I finally managed to get to the vet friday morning, they were incredibly kind and understanding and could clearly see my distress given I was convinced the cat was miaowing noo, nooo in the car there I was already in tears I stayed with him though couldn't watch and just stroked him and then had to leave the room without looking back.
We've been away at the weekend and it was nice I admit to be distracted. Like someone said, I do feel relief and that I've done the right thing, though of course it's painfully empty at home now not that dd seems to have noticed Rightly or wrongly I'm grateful for this and loler I think I'll just leave telling her anything until she notices if she does
Thanks again, really appreciated support and it was much needed. x

Aww - been thinking about you, will seem a very empty house for a very long time.

Hope that you've got it together enough to explain by the time your dd asks (you will because you can use the 'he's at the vets' for many months).

Take care

Thanks loler, I clearly spoke to soon about dd not noticing - suddenly she said last night that she wanted to give him some milk, she used to do it at night time when we got her milk.. DH and I looked at the space of the empty bowls and missing bed and then sort of hurried out the kitchen muttering that he was out at the moment and that he was a bit poorly.

I tried not to well up and she chatted away happily about him having a sleep and seeing his friends with me thinking ohh so true and that pleaseeee Mummy could she come to the meow meow's dr with me! I felt awful! We'll go for the slowly, slowly approach I think.