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Original poster

family asking for pet back

17 replies

hogshead · 09/09/2010 23:28

Hi i would be grateful for any advice.

I took in a family pet (i have one similar) 2 years ago after they went abroad for 2 months. When they returned they felt they were unable to cope with their pet and asked me to keep the little lady on a permanent basis, which wasnt a problem for me and DH.

To cut a long story short I saw the mother of the daughter who's pet was yesterday and she said that her daughter really wanted the pet back.

I am really in 2 minds and dont know what to do. I have grown really fond of the little lady which is probably clouding my judgement.

This is a common pet but the specific breed needs really specific care on which i can give advice and guidance. Also this pet will grow very very large (which on taking her on DH and I acknowleged and would address in the future) and will require space to live both in summer and winter ( but in all honesty i'm not entirely convidinced the family have - cynical i know)

But the thing that makes me most hesitant is that i know the family still have 4 dogs in the house - one of which attacked the pet just before they went away and caused very severe damage which could have been live threatening to the pet. Although on specialist websites there is a lot of antedotecal evidence to dogs attacking these pets it is not legal in the UK to own a dog and this particular reptile.

Since taking the little lady on i now have a DS and `the kids' (as we call them) dont get as much attention as perhaps they once did - they were my surrogate babies!! - and that makes me think that perhaps my priorities might have changed.

So what do i do? I am worried that i might deny a young girl her pet but run the risk of a further dog attack.

Any advice?

Sorry about any spelling mistakes my typing is rubish!

OP posts:

Original poster

hogshead · 09/09/2010 23:33

that should be it is not illegal to own a daog and this reptile in the UK although not recommended by specialist groups

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 09/09/2010 23:39

Sorry but what is this animal? It sounds like something fairly unusual so probably not suitable for people who don't know much about it, and beyond the ability of a child to care for properly.

Original poster

hogshead · 09/09/2010 23:45

sorry its a tortoise.

But not a regular live in the garden type of tortoise

OP posts:

lazydog · 10/09/2010 01:27

Is it a G.sulcata?

I think it's pretty obvious that she's doing far better with you than she would be back with the original owners. Have they any idea what they're letting themselves in for down the line if they do take her back?? An adult African Spurred (if that's what you have) can walk through plasterboard walls and the amount of "waste" they produce when fully grown has to be experienced to be believed, LOL! Then there's the cost of heating/lighting/dietary supplements/etc...

It's such a shame that the huge majority of people buy them on the spur of the moment, without a second's thought to their specialist care and huge space requirements. The situation is not helped by all the morally deficient reptile dealers/stores who don't inform potential buyers of their max adult size (either through simple ignorance, or through greed at the thought of losing a potential sale )

I know I wouldn't give her back, but then I am a total tortoise fanatic Although I love all animals, they are my absolute passion (I've kept and bred them for decades.)

Sadly I think it's pretty obvious that even if you don't give her back, they'll simply buy another tortoise. :(

Original poster

hogshead · 10/09/2010 08:19

No its not a sulcata dh would start divorce proceedings if I took one in!

She's a redfoot (tropical) I suspect from her markings a cherry head so won't get as big as a regular redfoot but atleast a foot in shell length. Like the sulcata doesn't hibernate.

OP posts:

ArseHolio · 10/09/2010 08:29

Is this the coat all over again

Is it the actual tortoise they gave you or a replacement ?

Seriously.. The tortoise belongs to you, they gave it to you. Tell them no!

realitychick · 10/09/2010 13:13

You have strong grounds for keeping it. If they'd collected it immediately on return then you'd have to hand it back, but after two years? Maybe the daughter is just feeling guilty and needs reassurance from you that it's in a more suitable home now. If you tell them what to expect they might be glad to go for an easier pet instead or just stick to the four dogs.

lazydog · 10/09/2010 16:38

hogshead: "No its not a sulcata dh would start divorce proceedings if I took one in! She's a redfoot (tropical) I suspect from her markings a cherry head so won't get as big as a regular redfoot but atleast a foot in shell length. Like the sulcata doesn't hibernate."

Ahhh, lovely... Redfoots are amongst my favourite torts - so personbable - and they're actually pretty manageable sized compared to what I was picturing you meant, LOL! BUT I still say that you should keep her.

If you feel too bad about doing that, I would have no qualms about saying to them that, yes, they can have her back but only when you've seen that they've constructed suitable (i.e. totally dog-secure and spacious) indoor and outdoor accommodation appropriate to that species' temp and humidity requirements...and only if they will assure you that she'll not be treated like a toy by their daughter (i.e. handled while unsupervised by an adult) or at any time allowed to roam around the house and thereby risk meeting up with their dogs again.

See if they still want her that badly if they actually have to put the effort in to giving her a good home

lazydog · 10/09/2010 16:39

personbable personable - doh!

ethelina · 10/09/2010 16:40

She gave it to you when she asked you to have it permanently. Its yours. You dont have to do anything.

SolidGoldBrass · 10/09/2010 17:04

You could tell them it's run away...

msrisotto · 10/09/2010 17:17

I don't think I could give it back what with the previous history of the dogs attacking it! How selfish must she be if she doesn't mind! No, I wouldn't give it back, for its own sake. It is yours now. Maybe she can visit.

TheCrackFox · 10/09/2010 17:17

........very slowly.

musicposy · 10/09/2010 18:15

You could tell them it's not actually their tortoise, it's a replacement you bought on ebay, and as such is not a real redfoot but a fake one.

Before I go, don't give it back. They gave it to you, and you sound like far more suitable owners.

beautifulgirls · 10/09/2010 20:58

Honestly - no, tell her sorry but after giving the matter some careful consideration you feel it is in the best interests of the animal to stay with you, but tell her the daughter is welcome to come and see it.

Too many people feel awkward about saying a straight no - but it beats making excuses and feeling awkward longer term. It was wrong of your friend to make you feel like this and she is the one who should (if anyone) feel awkward in all this.

Original poster

hogshead · 21/09/2010 22:17

Hi thank you for all your replies - RL got in the way but i have been lurking via my mobile phone but havent worked out how to post from there!

I think i am just going to let things lie for a while and tell the family that i will have a good think about things - I have become very attached to the little lady but i am worried about the dogs - dogs around tortoises can be unpredictable even if they have lived together for years and given the history i would never forgive myself if something awful happened.

Thank you again

OP posts:

lucy101 · 21/09/2010 22:21

I think the suggestion that you keep it but the little girl can come and visit it at any time and maybe even help with it at yours (which is it's new home now and it is happy there) is very good. I don't think just because they change their mind on a whim (and after two years!) they should have it back... it doesn't bode well....

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