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Original poster

DS desperate for a dog

33 replies

LJS666 · 27/08/2010 21:44

My DS2 is desperate for us to get a dog.

We have a house with a secure garden and I do work from home for about half the week.

However, I am just not an "animal" person, I don't want their fur in our house, I don't want to be licked, I don't want the kitchen floor covered in dog food. But I have never had a pet.

I can kind of see the advantages of taking a nice dog for a nice walk but then immediately think - what about my car if the dog has rolled in shit? Which they do I think.

I would never, ever be cruel at all and would fulfil any obligations I took on but I think I would cringe any time the dog licked me etc.

But perhaps it's like people who have never had children - they think, oh the shitty nappies, the screaming, never having time to shower.

We parents know that's all true and that we get past the shitty nappies because we love them.

I'm just scared about taking on a commitment that I couldn't fulfil.

Like I said, I wouldn't take on anything I couldn't go through with and would never be cruel.

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2010 21:45

Dont do it then. It is a huge commitment.

myermay · 27/08/2010 21:50

how old is your ds???

Also what type of dog are you thinking? would you want to walk a dog twice a day even in heavy rain??

I don't own a dog however, i do look after my parents regualarly and the hair bothers me massively, although it is possible to get a dogs who don't shed much and you can still be house proud and i'm with you on the dog licking me, i won't let it at all.

It is a massive commitment, and we are looking to get one, but we already made the mistake a few years ago of getting a large breed and having to rehome it no long after we got it as i couldn't cope. Think so carefully about the breed if you get one, we are favouring a shitzu, as they are small, calm as adults and need very little exercise adn are very cuddly.

If you are not sure i wouldn't do it, can't you settle for a cat?

Original poster

LJS666 · 27/08/2010 21:53

DS2 is 11 (the one who wants the dog). DS1 is going off to Uni next month and I know this is part of it.

DS2 feels lonely at the thought of it and wants a dog at the end of his bed.

OP posts:

musicmadness · 27/08/2010 21:54

Don't do it. It would end up being your dog not your DS's and if you really don't like them it is not a good idea. Mines never rolled in shit but he is very fond of trying to lick anything that moves. If you would end up resenting the dog then it isn't fair to you or the dog. Are there any other animals you do like and would be happy to have around that DS would be happy with too? Might be worth considering.

iloverhubarbcrumble · 27/08/2010 21:55

We have just got a puppy. Unless you are wholehearted and definite, then don't do it. It's HUGE in terms of time, stress, committment.

My DD has said since she was 2 that she wanted a dog. She's now 12 and she's just got one, mainly because I have stopped work for a while - oh and I like dogs! DD is shell shocked, as are we, after the first two weeks - though I do know it will get better and am still happy that it will be worth it.

Just have a quick look at the New Puppy Owners support thread to get a flavour of the reality!

Good luck with decision

Mutt · 27/08/2010 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellasformerfriend · 27/08/2010 21:58

Don't do it. You should only get a dog (or any animal really) if you want one as it will end up being your dog no matter what they say! Children are simply not designed with a long term attention span

In any case, even if your son is fabulous at walking, feeding, picking up poo etc you will still be left with hair, scratch marks, training, finding kennels every holiday/day away, repairing the lawn when it is dug up, paying for the vet bills for the neighbours cat, paying for the vet bills for the dog....the list is endless!

Like I said, if you do not want an animal, don't get one!

Mutt · 27/08/2010 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

LJS666 · 27/08/2010 22:05

I was thinking of a lab or some other type of very family friendly dog - I really don't know anything about dogs. I wouldn't want one who could "turn" as I am not experienced.

I am not madly houseproud though fur all over the house would really annoy me - is that likely do you think. Is it worse than human hair?

Sorry to sound like a dickwad but have never had a dog.

We have had a cat who died aged 16 but it's a dog he wants.

I've glibly said, have a dog when you leave home. He has said he will settle for a playful cat.

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2010 22:06

Please, please dont buy a dog for an 11 year old child. So many dogs get rehomed because of decisions like this. Just say no to him - far better than go through the process of getting one, seeing the hard reality and then adding to the thousands of dogs in rescue.

Bellasformerfriend · 27/08/2010 22:10

I would go with a cat then!

Any dog can "turn" some are more likely than others perhaps but it is mostly down to breeding, training and day to day care.

Yes the hair is worse than human hair, my friend has a Lab and has to hoover daily as it takes just a few hours for black hairs to cover the cream carpet (and i do mean cover) she also brushes him daily.

I have a dog, not a heavy shedder, and wooden floors, I sweep twice a day and I still have clumps of hair rolling across the floor like tumble weed! You can get non-shedding breeds but these tend to have a higher level of body odour (IME)...

Mutt · 27/08/2010 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaynieB · 27/08/2010 22:10

My dog smells, she rolls in shit, she sheds fur, she tries to lick me. She is a tie, can be expensive, needs walking rain or shine, you have to pick their poo up (and so on)
They can also be great fun, very rewarding and its a good reason to get out of the house.
But from your post, you don't sound like you really want this.

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2010 22:11

The shit they usually roll in is fox which believe me stinks really badly.

musicmadness · 27/08/2010 22:13

I've got a black Lab. He is the sweetest thing in the world and in general they are a great breed (obviously you will always have exceptions) but they do lose a hell of a lot of hair! The downstairs (he's not allowed upstairs, and he is scared of going down stairs anyway ) is vacuumed every other day and the carpet literally changes colour in between vacuums! Mine at least is also very clumsy, any glasses/drinks/cards etc on a table somewhere near his height range WILL end up on the floor if you are not careful. Their tails are lethal. I really wouldn't buy a dog for an 11 year old, he may well get bored and even if he doesn't the dog will probably live for longer than he will remain at home!

2old4thislark · 27/08/2010 22:15

You don't want one, so just say NO.

Vallhala · 27/08/2010 22:16

What Rainbow said. A dog is the responsibility of an adult, not a child, and children get bored easily.

No offence meant, but you just don't seem cut out to be a dog owner. Which is fine, I'm not cut out to be a childminder and would feel about that as you do about dogs! The only difference is that I wouldn't consider the idea of looking after other people's children no matter what my own wanted.

I see FAR FAR too many dogs end up not just in rescue, where sometimes, but by no means always, they have a chance of finding a new home, but in pounds too, where they are put to sleep. Many of these are unwanted by families because a child has got bored/it's too much hard work/he makes a mess and all the other things you have said you don't like. Only yesterday someone posted on here about their rescue dog, which had been handed in because the previous owners didn't like him licking their toddler.

PLEASE don't do it.

Original poster

LJS666 · 27/08/2010 22:18

Yes - I think you are all right.

I like the idea of a lovely golden lab - I love to pet them in the park. But I know I do not want to walk a dog twice a day, I do not want to pick up dog shit, I would be very pissed off if it chewed my sofa.

Also I think it would be immoral of me to take on a rescue dog and then give it back. Like adopting a child and giving it back for wetting the bed. I wish I felt differently, but I don't.

But then I look at pictures of really cute dogs at Battersea Dogs Home.....but I would be doing more harm than good in "rescuing" a dog I can't cope with/don't like.

No, it's not for me, I don't like dogs much apart from to pet a little bit in the park.

OP posts:

Vallhala · 27/08/2010 22:19

"I wouldn't want one who could "turn" as I am not experienced."

There is no such thing as a safe breed. There is ALSO NO SUCH THING AS A DANGEROUS BREED!

And there are no guarantees in life.

JaxTellersOldLady · 27/08/2010 22:20

maybe you could 'borrow' a dog for a while. Why not try to contact your local rescue centre and see if you could foster for a while? Or Hearing Dogs/Guide Dogs do a B&B scheme at the weekend. If you think that would work for your family, try that out.

A puppy (actually, any new dog) is hard work, you have to get to know each other amongst all the other things.

How about a Siamese cat? They are very playful. My SIL has one and it is like a dog in many ways - but takes itself off out to the loo and comes back again for cuddles and food.

paisleyleaf · 27/08/2010 22:22

It doesn't sound as though you'd be happy with a dog.
I'd like to get a dog, I've grown up with dogs. But DH doesn't. He's concerned he'll get dog hairs on his suits, furniture might get chewed etc. And his concerns are valid. I can't honestly say "noooo that won't happen - that's cats".
Funnily enough, I'm glad now that we don't have one and am quite enjoying living pet free just now. (And not having to pick up poo everyday)
As someone said earlier, at 11 you DS will start doing his own thing more.

Vallhala · 27/08/2010 22:23

How about offering to walk a rescue dog (that way there is no long term commitment, could be once a week or what suits you and DS).

Bellasformerfriend · 27/08/2010 22:23

I think you are being very responsible taking the attitude you are, i know exactly what you mean about all those lovely dogs in need of help though!

I am looking at a resuce dog but I have a very specific dog in mind - and I will wait until I find it! recently I found one that appeared to fit the bill, sadly someone got in first (sad for us, I am thrilled for the dog of course!). The rescue tried to interest me in another dog, I understand why they suggested her and I feel terribly sorry for her but I have had to be strong regardless of my bleeding heart as I know the dog would not be the right choice for us and the last thing on earth I want is to be in a position where I would feel that I would have to send a dog back because of a moment of weakness!

A small note though - a cat can destroy your sofa almost as effectivly as a dog

Vallhala · 27/08/2010 22:25

Bella, what are you looking for?

Bellasformerfriend · 27/08/2010 22:27

I am already in touch with a lot of the people you are Vallhala but I don't want to give too much away here!

Feel free to CAT me though and I will tell you more!

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