School non uniform days

[carterjensy]

UK mum of two here. My daughter is currently being assessed for the SEN register (suspected ADHD), and I also have ADHD myself.

Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of themed and non-uniform days now?

World Book Day, Rock Star Day, Pyjama Day, Egyptian Day, Colour Days, Children in Need, Red Nose Day, Christmas jumper days, discos, Halloween, Easter bonnet parade… it just feels constant.

Individually, they’re fine. But all together, on top of work, homework, clubs and normal life, it’s a lot. Remembering the dates, finding outfits (often last minute), sending money in — it’s a steady mental load.

For kids with ADHD or additional needs, routine really matters. Frequent changes can be stressful rather than fun. And as a parent with ADHD, keeping on top of it all can be exhausting.

This isn’t about banning fun or fundraising. It’s about balance.

If this resonates, I’ve started a petition asking for sensible limits on themed/non-uniform days so families aren’t under constant pressure

I didn't say that. I'm agreeing with the OP that it's too much though. Fewer dress up days would balance more needs amongst children and families.

My eldest refused to take part, so he and a couple of other nonconformists always wore their uniforms. Then, when he was about 9, he became obsessed with Spiderman and insisted on dressing as him on all non uniform days, be it World Book Day or just any old normal non uniform day🤣 He spent most of his life dressed as Spiderman for a couple of years and had to be shoehorned into other clothes as necessary.

So OP is proposing 3 a year. Sorry, but that's ridiculous.

Which 3 a year do you suggest?

We have in excess of 10.general own clothes days (ends of month / half term / term. Plus dressing up for Halloween abs Worldd Book Day. Yellow or spots for CIN. Red for Red Nose Day. Yellow for Child Mental Health Day. Rockstars for NSPCC. Jumpers for Xmas Jumper Day. Plus Easter Bonnets.

Nine of those are a sunrise past Reception. Even if you add in Romans / Vikings / Egyptians (only one depending on the school year) you know the years above did them so you know your child will. And they always encourage make-do from school.

School play is lots of notice and can be something from home / homemade or school will sort.

And that's zero penalties for not doing it.

If course it's heart breaking if you child cares about joining in but struggles to do it, but the answer shouldn't be to ban the kids from everything someone else struggles with.

🙄yes let’s make my child stand out by not participating

I’m parent to two NT kids and I agree!

We have so many of these days in the calendar all over the place.

But also I LOVE our primary school which has No Uniform for the last week or so of summer term - this allows the school time to collect old uniform particularly from Y6 parents (parents do laundry over the weekend and hand in spare outgrown uniforms on Monday) and on the penultimate day of term the PTA holds its annual Summer Second Hand Uniform sale where people can buy next term’s uniform.
This means you know what kit you’ve managed to buy second hand, and what uniform gaps you need to fill during summer holidays.

Your correct ive removed that as it was chat gbt that wrote that 🫣😆

🙄 yes let's suck all the joy out of everything for the other kids just to please yours.

There are 30 children in each class, all with different likes and dislikes. Perhaps you ought to home educate if you think everything should be tailored to suit your child.

Join the PTA, then you can have your say. You can also come up with alternative ways to raise the same amount of money for the school as these days raise, whilst also requiring little input from volunteers and being fun for the children. I bet you won't though.

That sounds excessive. I would definitely raise it with your school. We just have Christmas or red jumper day and world book day, which can be any character or PJs.

It is great, cheers. Well done to you for your pointless boring campaign ⭐️ seriously, get a life luv. There’s way more important stuff you could get your knickers in a twist over.

But it's highly unlikely your child will be the only one.

I agree that this is just make work for parents. We had none of this nonsense when I was a kid. I would not have dared ask my parents for a dressup outfil because I would have got a slap if I pestered. I would have been told to sort it myself. And in those days if money was being collected (remember those horrible little envelopes) you were shown up in front of the class if you/your parents hadnt made a contribution. Now at least teachers are not allowed to bully children from poorer families because they cant afford to support pajama day or whatever. I would send your children in their normal clothes or uniform. If the other kids laugh at them it will help build resilliance and teach them that they have to tough it out.

Signed

Im talking about a balance at my school and maybe for others were its excessive. Fun is great. Ongoing cost and stress aren’t.

Your free to scroll past if its boring you. Too some people it is a big issue with affordability and mental health stress.

That is way too many OP I agree. However I think the issue is with the individual school so your first step is to raise it with your Headteacher or chair of governors. They definitely do not have many at my son’s school - usually World Book Day, Children in Need, and Xmas jumper day, think that’s it for the year.

I agree.
My kids school is non stop dress up days. They don't "have to join in" but they feel left out of they don't. It costs an absolute fortune!! Really, really over the top!
And they always give us a few days notice.

I agree. It is a lot for parents and terrible for the environment as a lot of time-poor parents will just buy a costume.

I would see if school could make some switches e.g. wear your pyjamas and bring a book instead of elaborate World Book Day costumes or the PTA can organise sales of old costumes or Christmas jumpers. I know you still have to remember, but it's easier. Our school has 2-3 'complicated' days e.g. dress like a Viking and around 6 'easy' days e.g. wear your own clothes, with something red if possible. When it is for charity there are donation buckets near the entrance but no checking who pays.

As an alternative perspective, my kids absolutely love non-uniform days. When they have had periods of reluctance about going to school, it has really helped. I know that doesn't help you, but I mention it because sometimes it's helpful to know it's not just seen as a pain by all.

We had none of this when I was a child. We had one non- uniform day a year and a ‘wear a red nose’ day for comic relief.

Why do schools do this? Does it not make the kids really riled up and full of themselves when they are dressed up?

I can see maybe world book day but it just seems an awful lot to have so many.

Yes thank you, thats why i created this post for feedback and advice on what to do. I know the petition is a little ott but i created it to see if it was a bigger issue throughout the uk for other people. So maybe it is just individual schools x

That’s too many, I agree.
Mine are almost through secondary school now, and I can’t wait for them to finish.
I’ve got adhd, and have found the whole school experience (as a parent!) exhausting.
School are struggling with attendance issues amongst teens, lots of anxiety and school avoidance and I sometimes feel schools want to put on more ‘fun’ events to make school more ‘fun’. But fun also means disruption and change, and that makes some kids feel unsafe and uncertain. I’d advocate calmness, kindness and more calmness 😆

Why would the kids be "full of themselves" because they're wearing a spotty pudsey teashirt or a red item of clothing or their own clothes?

Ever heard of fun?

They sit in the same room 5 days a week. God forbid they spice things up every few weeks and maybe crack a smile.

Absolutely i agree its great for the kids and some parents have no problem with it all. Its great to see it from all perspectives, im starting to wonder if maybe its just my school thats being excessive 🙂