FAMILY COURTS ARE ENABLING ABUSE AND EXPOSONG OUR CHILDREN!

[AEMothers]

I would like to stage two protests next year, one on Mothers Day outside the family court, another on the "annual pomp". It's time we start taking our rights back as mothers, the court are treating as carriers, handing our children over to abusers when they don't want to go and are been used against us. Any abuse tactic that is used by men, should not breach contact. It's time we start asking why, if it impacts us it impacts our children "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me".

It is our and our children's right to be together the phycological damage that is continuing to happen, across the UK is tragic. The system is built for us to fail, should we need it. We have to make a change!

You carry your child, breast feed and change your whole life while their career continues to move forward and nobody cares! There is a reason we have 9 months maternity leave. We have to make a stand! Our children need us, women need us, and mothers need us!

A shared care arrangement is handed to fathers like sweets, when they have not shared their care, because they have rights. We have a right not to be abused, our children have a right to live happily and we have a right to, free speech.

The family court are taking our children in front of the world and are no better than the Magdalene sisters. Mums under duress, during court and after and often after they have fled abuse! It's time to take our rights back! It's time to make a change for the next generation of mothers!

Lets make a change, change starts with us!

I completely agree, but not keen on the 'change starts with us' stance. People have already started it. There are protests happening and there's a big spotlight on family courts at the moment. Have you followed Right to Equality or The Court Said? They advertise current protests. I went to one recently. SHERA also has a whole research dept dedicated to this. The transparency project is yet to do anything particularly meaningful but there's a lot going on. Maybe get involved?

Hi,

Legislation is getting worse. The law is getting more hostile towards mothers who put their children first. Congratulations on your protest, we need to do more to create change and follow up with new bill and petitions! I'm not keen on protesting with little to no outcome.

Domestic abuse is considered illegal and criminal yet children and mothers are subjected to it continuously. Why?! You can't have children without us.

Anyone interested in protesting get in touch! Lets stand strong together!

Can you give examples of when they’ve ’handed children over to abusers’? And give some specifics?

The law isn't about fathers rights - or mothers rights. It's about the rights of the child to see both parents unless there is a compelling reason this shouldn't happen.

What legislation? Legislation is getting better. The problem lies with the secrecy and lack of implementation by judges.

It is about everyone's rights to an extent. Yes the child is n1 priority, but survivors also have a right to safety.

Women's right are considerably overlooked as are the children's court. This thread is to get likeminded mothers to join the cause. I suggest you look at Dispatches "Torn Apart Family Courts Uncovered" Look at the legal system in depth, the court said, there is an article in the Guardian regarding the grooming gang in Rochdale who see the children that are a bi product of abuse, Sara Sharif etc. A position of privilege is a good one however not all women have this luxury and children suffer. Moving forward I will focus on supporting mums who know about the suffering caused by a systemic issue in the family courts.

This.

There has to be responsibility on choosing better people to have children with. the courts are not to blame for who sleeps with who and who gets pregnant, children have no say but adults do

More and more responsibility is taken away from the individual

Things are getting better I promise. Cafcass is currently trialling a new way of working with families in private law cases, focussing on domestic abuse and protecting the victims. Have a look at the Cafcass website and the 'pathfinder' pilot in Birmingham. Change is coming.

I'm not keen on protesting with little to no outcome.

What do you mean by that? The poster you’re replying to has attended a demonstration and highlights activist groups you might find interesting and that’s how you respond. Have you been to a protest or are you hoping other people will instead?

Can you distill what specific changes you’re going to have the courts make and how you’re planning to do it?

Victim blaming 101.

I've watched it. I've been through 6 years of family courts, fact findings, restraining order and subsequent non mols etc etc and now work in the DA sector. I just don't think an inflammatory approach works. There is a lot of work being done currently and it needs to be joined up. It's great that you want to do something but I think you'd be better off supporting the already existing groups.

That is the point children are the victims they are not to blame for their parents actions

I had no idea that my husband of 11 years was going to have affair when our son was a baby and turn into an abusive arsehole. None. I imagined the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with was a decent person to have a child with, particularly during a long marriage. Your post is offensive and victim blaming.

I agree, can you suggest who to propose another protest to?

I dont think you have been in family court. If you had you would have a different perspective. I am also presuming you are in a different position to those that have. Take care

I'm speachless

@AEMothers Cafcass are currently recruiting for its Family Forum - you could join and talk about your experiences and how families can be better supported in the future:

www.cafcass.gov.uk/parent-carer-or-family-member/cafcass-family-forum

There's been plenty threads on here....

You are so combative OP. I've just explained that I was in family courts for YEARS and that the abuse was severe enough to have resulted in non molestation orders and a restraining order. I have contended with contact centres, post separation abuse and keeping a 5 year old safe throughout. I have now dedicated my life to working in the field. The approach you're taking does not work. You state that current protests, the ones I've been involved in attending and organising do not work. Why do you think yours will? If you'd loom behind the scenes, you'd see that our protests have contributed to discussions with government, the DA commissioner, the transparency project, a review of DAPP programmes, the formation of research groups, discussions on tv around pd12j and women's experiences, multiple professionals being implemented into DA services who deal specifically with family courts etc etc. I'm just saying, do your research and think about getting involved before assuming that your protests will have greater success than ours.

My personal thoughts are I believe if a man can hurt a woman he can hurt a child.

Woman get told things like of you go back to your ex /abuser your chikd will be removed from your care . As the child is also classed as a victim. The dad then get rights to see the child it makes no sense.

Thank you, I will look at this

This is utterly wrong. As in coercive control, the true controlling and abusive nature of the father isn’t revealed until - typically - pregnancy and after birth, when it’s all too late. It’s textbook and very well-documented. You are essentially victim blaming here and taking the onus off perpetrators. It’s not idiots this happens to but intelligent, well-educated and empathetic women

I broadly agree that the family courts are not acting in the child's best interests as they should but you are not the person to be leading this campaign. Your emotive tabloid-like language and hyperbole is really off-putting and it's clear you also don't centre children, but mothers.