Crikey, I'm sorry to hear that @Charley50. That sort of experience only proves to me the harm that is done in teaching girls to be kind no matter what etc. Thank goodness there are enough of us who can be kind, yet also be assertive and not be doormats.
I think there are pockets of people believing in the ideology, but after a recent meeting at my DC school and discussion with my own teenage DC, there are also plenty of young people who can see right through the problems that the ideology is fraught with.