Losing my job because I'm a parent

[Luaper]

Since the C-19 pandemic began I have felt that the 'new normal' is likely to include a disadvantage to parents. My employer made an early decision not to furlough any employees and offered parents the option to cut their working hours - but the expectation is still there that the same amount of work as a full time employee is delivered. As such, over the past 4 months I have worked every evening including weekends to keep up whilst still trying to give my primary age school children some structure / home school in the day and normality and fun at the weekends. It has however been pointed out at work that I am less effective than my colleagues without children because I have too many distractions and answer emails at inconsiderate times of the day.

At present that are the following protected characteristics under employment law (set out in the Equality Act); age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation. I think that parenting of young children should be added to this list and would ask the reader to sign the petition below.

Ask yourself this - if you were an employer would you employ a parent knowing that whilst C-19 circulates there will be frequent school closures that mean the individual has to quarantine for 14 days? And that whilst they are quarantining they will be looking after children which will mean that they cannot effectively work from home. At present there is little to prevent employers discriminating against parents in redundancy programmes and those same individuals may find it hard to find a new job. This has a serious knock on impact on families and children and is why parents as a group need this enhanced employment protection.

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/319813

Choosing to be a parent comes with tough decisions and huge compromises as a family for both parents . It’s not exclusively a mother’s lot to look after children. You make no mention at all of tour children’s father. And you need to have a conversation with your manager and workplace regarding the expectations around less hours ( which I presume = less pay) . Start with those two issues which you can affect. The government can’t fix those two.

You think a choice you made to suit your needs (or having a shit partner) is a discrimination issue? confused

No, that's the opposite of what I'm saying if you read the parts of my post you emitted for some reason.

Because they’d rather protect the higher salary, which is generally the man’s salary. How many times do you see women saying they need to reduce hours etc because he earns more

Although it's notable that there are threads on here where the higher paid woman is still picking up the bulk of the childcare and housework.

There was one recently where her self-employed-in-a-hobby husband was refusing to give up his company for a regular job, even though she earnt more than him doing PT hours. And of course, he worked too many hours to help with chores / childcare :(

What about your children’s other parent?

I’m a single parent. I had to take all the time off when they were sick for example.

Why didn’t you set boundaries with work and put an out of office that explained you might answer emails at odd times?

I'm a single parent now but when with dh never did the whole sacrifice my career thing. Primarily because my own mother, although she always worked, had very little to show for this when she financially left my father who was abusive to her. My independence was key for me. So when h left recently financially I am fine and in fact in a better position than him. I'm hoping dd learns from this and I keep telling her to be sure she is never reliant on a man but protects her own career.

Although I appreciate that it's hard for parents I don't think expecting others to pick up what you aren't doing because you're a parent is a workable solution.

And then taking it one step further - if there are redundancies, and if an employer felt they could not include parents, then it is discriminating against people who don't have children.

Then at what age of children does this preferential treatment stop?

Covid19 is a particular set of circumstances here and now. It is unlikely that we will have frequent pandemics to deal with. It is unfortunate and I don't doubt that you were treated badly - but unfortunately it is not your employers problem and your children have two parents I presume?

Why 11? Why not 18? What about careers for disabled adults?

@bluesapphirestars

Not happy at all with sex discrimination. This is a parenting issue not a women’s issue.

Agreed. I'm not trying to sound unsympathetic but in my family my husband and I have both been thinking about what alterations we could make to our work in order to accommodate our son being off school. I wouldn't want to see this enshrined even further as a woman's problem to sort.

I realise I am fortunate to have a partner. I used to be a single parent in an insecure, hourly paid role and would have lost all of my income if schools had shut then. My son was often poorly and I had no dependency leave, so every time he was in hospital I lost the money we relied on to pay bills. However I don't think that I was discriminated against for being a parent, rather that all workers need better security and protection.

Completely agree with that last sentence.

I agree with @MadMadMad @NailsNeedDoing @MilkTwoSugarsThanks Your employer is paying you to deliver output If your ability to deliver output has changed due to your personal situation then your employer is right to be unhappy If you cannot deliver the work you were hired to do, you need to be having a conversation with your employer not demanding legal protections. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been expected to work late, adapt my life around other families, and pick up the slack from parents unable to balance their family demands/overtly favoured parents and it’s thankless and taken for granted. It’s now part of the questions I ask at interviews as ‘flexible working policies’ can translate into “you’ll be expected to take on extra work to cover the parents in the team” and ‘family friendly’ can equate to “families don’t count if you’re childless”

To flip your post title around, “losing my job because I’m infertile”

This is a home/family management issue. I think the key point is that becoming a parent is a choice. Protected characteristics are things you don't have control of.

You say you're less effective that your child-free colleagues so I assume they're picking up the slack. Having children is your choice so why should your child-free colleagues be forced to work harder because you have (by your own admission) distractions.

This argument goes both ways.

Your employer doesn't seem to have reduced your pay so is clearly trying to keep things afloat and to ensure the workforce remain employed.

It’s not a sex discrimination issue because it is affecting male parents as well as female. It is definitely a parent discrimination issue.
The fact that most mothers do the child care means that it only indirectly discriminated against women which is actually legal.
After all the covid19 guidance for who gets a ventilator was written acknowledging that it indirectly discriminated against the disabled and elderly, but that was legal and ok and followed.

I don’t think it should be a protected characteristic. We choose to become parents which comes with many responsibilities. It’s not something employers or other colleagues have a say in so why should they be affected by it.

I'm sorry for parents with small children during this pandemic, but employers need people to work their best. It's not their fault you have kids, nor your colleagues who are able to work effectively.

It sounds like your employer was flexible ito hours, I'm not sure what else they could do.

@SweetPetrichor

This is a home/family management issue. I think the key point is that becoming a parent is a choice. Protected characteristics are things you don't have control of.

Religion is a choice and also a protected characteristic. Nationality is also a choice in some circumstances, you can renounce born with citizenships and naturalise to get new citizenships.

Discrimination within law is based around elements of a person that they do not choose, I. E. Their sex or race etc. You chose to become a parent so for that part alone, it doesn't fit with the basis of the legislation.

Sex discrimination covers women and men being disadvantaged in the workplace due to parenting related issues I. E. Working part time/taking time off for dependants and being sacked as a result. This effects far more women than men on a day to day basis, but the legislation does cover both.

Sorry OP, I know it's been tough as a working parent but as others have pointed out, it's partly due to your work being unreasonable expecting the same output in less hours and partly due to lack of sharing parental responsibility with the childrens Dad, for whatever reason.

Yeah but if someone applied for a job working Sundays, and then could not do it because they went to church, it wouldn’t be discrimination to employ someone who could work on a Sunday. Reasonable adjustments are one thing but they do have to be reasonable and usually involve some compromises on both sides to get to an amicable solution.

It is concerning that the new normal could be a decision between: have children or have a job.

Having children is a lifestyle choice that you make. It's not the same as a disability, your age or race.

Signed ✅

I’ve thought many times over the last few months I’m so lucky my kids are teens and are pretty self-sufficient. I can only imagine how difficult it’s been for parents of younger children who are trying to work and home-school. Hats off to you all.

Becoming a parent is a choice though, whereas all of the other protected characteristics are innate (with the exception of pregnancy/maternity and I'm not convinced they should be protected either)

Even before Covid, I saw a lot of people 'in the red' in terms of their lifestyle choices - multiple DC, both parents required to work round the clock just to pay the bills etc, and with little wiggle room should something major happen to them (and often with no proper mortgage protection plan/income protection policy in place either).

People just often make poor lifestyle choices, fail to think things through properly or properly have a 'worst case scenario' plan.

People just need to be more mindful of their choices, and ensure they have plenty of room to manoeuvre in the even of a problem (like Covid, but also death/divorce)

We tread a very worrying path when we expect the taxpayer to rescue people from the consequences of their own lifestyle choices.

@Candyfloss99

Having children is a lifestyle choice that you make. It's not the same as a disability, your age or race.

But you could say that about maternity too, and that’s a protected characteristic.

Plus, the economy needs people to be having children to produce taxpayers of the future.

@Candyfloss99 exactly, having children is a lifestyle choice. Plus lm confused why men are not getting more mention, there are single dads and if you’re in a relationship then the childcare issue is 50% his problem