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Original poster

No support allowed to Antenatal appointments

38 replies

defstar06 · 05/06/2020 11:42

hello all,
chng.it/QkGMcw2VNt
I am starting a change.org to try and allow pregnant women to have someone there to support them there partner or loved one or family member im not asking to allow the whole family in just one person.
My wife is 7 weeks pregnant and we have are first scan on the 13th of July and were both nervous but she is worse as she's not allowed anyone with her.
If anyone sign my change.org would be amazing
chng.it/QkGMcw2VNt

Thank you all :-)

OP posts:
sel2223 · 05/06/2020 12:09

We are all in the same boat I'm afraid. I haven't even seen my partner since March as we are locked down in different countries!

While I appreciate it's sad for you to miss out on the scan, I do understand the reason behind the no visitors policy so can't sign this unfortunately. I have had 2 scans during lockdown plus midwife and consultants appointments (i'm high risk)....all alone and all absolutely fine.
I feel safer without lots of extra people milling around tbh, it's more relaxed and the staff have all been really lovely.

I've also had to spend 3 days on the maternity ward recently where no visitors were allowed. Again, not ideal but I understand it.

These are unprecedented times and the safety of mums, babies are nhs staff has to take priority.

sel2223 · 05/06/2020 12:11

*and not are

Meant to say as well....are you in a position to consider a private scan? These are not in hospitals so many are allowing partners in.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 05/06/2020 12:13

Sorry for your situation but cannot support this. It would double the risk for healthcare workers and that’s not fair.

JacobReesMogadishu · 05/06/2020 12:16

I agree that I won’t support it.

Not only would it put nhs staff at risk but it puts pregnant women in your wife at risk. Imagine it’s allowed and the week before your appt another partner infects the midwife. Then the midwife sees your wife and is infectious but not yet symptomatic and she infects your wife.

CoolNoMore · 05/06/2020 12:20

It's pretty anxiety-inducing to have to stay in a small waiting room with twice the number of people that have to be there. It's difficult, yes, but it's for our health (including mental!).

excitednerves · 05/06/2020 12:23

I totally see where you’re coming from but I agree with the other posters. As a high risk pregnancy, the fewer people I see when I visit the hospital, the better in my opinion. I’d also like to protect the midwives, sonographers and other staff as much as possible as I want them to be around when I’m in labour and when I need them.

I was also super nervous about my 12 week scan, I even had a little cry in the scan room, but as others have said, the staff are fantastic.

Maybe you could drive her and wait in the car so you’re there straight after?

thetangleteaser · 05/06/2020 12:27

These threads have been done to death a bit and the generally consensus is, yup it’s crap but it’s just what needs to happen Y

Aria2015 · 05/06/2020 12:29

I'm sorry but I can't support this either I'm afraid. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and have suffered multiple miscarriages so I know what it's like to feel anxious and crave the moral support of someone close to me for appointments and scans. I worry every time about getting bad news and being in my own, but safety trumps my anxiety and if it's safer for myself, the medical professionals and other patients to attend alone then I support that. Sorry, I know it's hard for you and your wife but it's just a sacrifice we have to make for the greater good in this case. If it's any consolation to your wife, all the midwives and sonographers that I've encountered at my appointments have been lovely and extra gentle as they know it's not easy attending alone.

thetangleteaser · 05/06/2020 12:32

Oops pressens send too soon..

It’s just what has to happen currently. The NHS doesn’t have enough money to fund PPE for their own staff working the front line let alone every partner that wants to attend for a scan. The sonographers and staff deserve to be protected and limiting the footfall is the only way to do it. My partner couldn’t attend for scans pre covid due to work commitments, it wasn’t a big deal, it’s a medical appointment and whilst it’s nice for partners to attend, maybe book a private scan prior to her dating scan. I’ve had to take my baby to all his immunisations alone during this pandemic and Christ that’s way more stressful than a scan, trying to wrangle a screaming baby and hold them still! Would I start a petition? Nope as I respect it’s what needs to happen and I appreciate the staff that are working hard to keep appointments going so in turn it’s our duty to protect them.

superram · 05/06/2020 12:34

I’m sorry but I can’t support this either. Presumably your wife is a grown adult. My husband came to a few but I usually went alone. Safety must take priority.

Puppydogg1 · 05/06/2020 12:37

Im sorry but I can't support this. And I'm saying that as someone who is 33 weeks pregnant and has had bad news previously at a scan.
The NHS can't put their staff and patients at further risk by opening up appointments to allow visitors to attend.
I definitely wouldn't want to attend a scan or antenatal appointment in the knowledge that there would be twice as many people as necessary in the waiting room.
It's a horrible situation but has to be done to protect the staff and patients.

Lonecatwithkitten · 05/06/2020 12:37

I appreciate it is a very worrying time, but a partner being at appointments is relatively new 16 years ago if you were lucky your partner was given unpaid time off for your 20 week scan the rest you did yourself.

The current system really is to protect the healthcare staff and to ensure they can keep the service running.

JassyRadlett · 05/06/2020 12:39

I also sympathise, but as a society we are having to do so much and make so many sacrifices to reduce the number of contacts between people. Children aren’t allowed to go to school. People are losing their jobs and their livelihoods. These are the impacts with long-term implications. Not being able to support your wife is difficult but in prioritising the contacts to allow, it isn’t in the same category as children’s education or people’s businesses and jobs.

AriettyHomily · 05/06/2020 12:43

I don't agree with this, it's not a necessity for you to be there.

ProfInkly · 05/06/2020 12:43

As someone that has had a miscarriage during lockdown I'm afraid I can't support this. The staff were fantastic and supportive. There wouldn't have been enough room to keep my partner 2m away from everyone. And the waiting room would have been far too crowded if everyone had a partner with them. I felt reassured that everyone was following the rules and keeping their distance.

Onekidnoclue · 05/06/2020 12:45

I sympathise but I can’t support this. I’m Sorry you and your wife are struggling but I’m afraid this is not a change I want to see. And I’m speaking as a pregnant woman with anxiety.
Good luck with your baby.

TinnedPearsForPudding · 05/06/2020 12:45

But visitors are not allowed anywhere in most hospitals. No visitors to patients on wards, no company if you're taken into A&E by ambulance. I just don't see how maternity can be an exception.

poozel · 05/06/2020 12:47

I agree with comments made and cannot support this.

I can only comment on our area but the pregnancy assessment unit are working extremely hard under very difficult circumstances. The priority is for them to continue to do so.

Community midwifes here are essentially redundant save for a phone call. Everything is being done at scans, injections, bloods, assessments.

It is only the ONLY opportunity for many vulnerable women to meet a healthcare professional alone, which is some cases can be extremely important. This is particularly so when community midwifes are not visiting home, meeting the person and are carrying out initial assessments over the telephone.

Private scans will allow partners to be present. NHS scans are prioritising safety of frontline workers, mums and babies.

BuffaloCauliflower · 05/06/2020 12:47

I’m pregnant with my first and I’ve been to all my scans and appointments alone. It’s shit because DH would love to be there, but it’s medical appointment first and foremost. When I went for two colposcopies investigating potential cervical cancer I didn’t need support from DH, this isn’t really that different.

Lozz22 · 05/06/2020 12:51

I have signed it. 15 years of being unable to conceive and 4 losses when I eventually did there is no way I would be able to go for a scan on my own. My Partner couldn't make the one when I was told I was miscarrying for a 4th time. Thankfully I had my Best Friend with me so I had the emotional support I needed at the time. Plus given the state I was in I wasn't able to process anything at all when given my options so I was able to ask her afterwards when I had calmed down

MaverickDanger · 05/06/2020 12:51

Another one here who can’t support this. I had my 12 week scan very recently and I think I would have been more scared walking into a waiting room with lots of people.

The staff were absolutely brilliant, taking their time and explaining everything. I was very nervous (first scan ever) and they were amazing at calming me down. They allowed me to take as many photos as I wanted.

First and foremost, it is a medical appointment. It should be treated like one. DH came along and sat in the car. Countless other women will have been in the same position as your wife, including a number of women labouring alone.

For the sake of my nerves, I would have felt awful putting other people at risk.

There are other options out there, such as private scans which, as PP have said, are accepting partners. They tend to be £50-60 so hopefully easy enough to save up in the next 5 weeks.

Stirmecrazy · 05/06/2020 12:53

Sorry agree with previous comments. On Monday I have to drop my 17 year old DD at hospital reception for her knee reconstruction surgery We are not allowed up to ward pre op or post op . So will be picking her back up again from reception after operation. She will have no one supporting her but we understand why and are just grateful, the operation is taking place at all. It is unfortunate for you but unfortunately these are the times we are presently living in and the important thing is protecting other potentially vulnerable people in hospitals (plus hospital staff)

tellmesomethingreal · 05/06/2020 12:53

38 weeks pregnant, can't sign I'm sorry. It sucks to go to appointments and scans alone, I'm high risk and have been in hospital twice on my own but I still don't think it's safe to relax this rule. Would be nice to have husband there but not essential and I'd rather feel safe

Billyjoearmstrong · 05/06/2020 12:56

I do sympathise with you but as others have said, I can’t support this.

It’s to maximise safety for everyone - your wife included.

I know it’s hard and it sounds like it’s your first baby? I’m pregnant with my third and my Dh wouldn’t have come to any scans etc even if he could due to work and other children to look after/school runs (if things were normal).

It’s no the be all and end all.

mable88 · 05/06/2020 13:03

It sucks, but as PPS have said we are all in the same boat unfortunately, and the rules are there to safeguard ourselves, other expectant mothers and the NHS staff. My husband missed out on our 20 week scan and had to wait anxiously in the car while I went into triage for reduced movements. I also think in all likelihood he will be extremely restricted when it comes to the birth of our baby - if the rules stay as they are at the moment then he will be allowed there for the birth itself and then sent home shortly afterwards until it is time for me to go home at which point he will come and collect us. Not at all ideal and not how I envisaged the pregnancy and delivery of our first child to be, but then nobody currently expecting would have expected any of this. Hope the scan goes well for your wife.