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AIBU to think given girls of 11 have become victims of revenge porn, the government needs to take urgent action

57 replies

GColdtimer · 15/08/2019 13:47

Thread on this here:

twitter.com/SafeSchools_UK/status/1161957169731911681?s=20

Sadly this doesn't surprise me. My daughter won't sit upstairs on the bus because all the boys are watching porn on their phones making it a hostile and unsafe environment for her and her friends. SSAUK are calling on the Department of Education to do something about this. Lots of MPs have been tagged in this thread so please share it if you are on Twitter. Its on Facebook too - www.facebook.com/safeschoolsallianceuk

If you don't think I am BU please share and send to your MPs flagging the urgency of the situation.

OP posts:
Sunkisses · 15/08/2019 16:42

@Scarydinosaurs revenge porn is a category on YouTube????? Shock

NeurotrashWarrior · 15/08/2019 16:53

No, but that's good too.

Maybe it wasn't her but someone went on porn hub and compared how women and gay men were portrayed. Grim reading.

And then our young teens, mostly boys, are watching.

FormerMediocreMale · 15/08/2019 19:16

Online porn needs to be regulated urgently. No minor should be able to access porn and if that inconveniences some adults, I dont care.

MsTSwift · 15/08/2019 20:03

Agree it needs to be locked down and only accessible if over 18 - watertight and provable. This is damaging our young people boys and girls.

ElizaPancakes · 15/08/2019 20:09

As a mother of boys I genuinely have nightmares about this.

How do I keep them safe? How do I stop them from caving to peer pressure? How do I ensure they have healthy interactions with girls?

Honestly it’s one thing to restrict phone access and internet access at home, but if they’re seriously going to be exposed on the school bus I just want to keep them home forever.

lyralalala · 15/08/2019 20:17

I've got two teenage girls (and a teenage boy) and the damage being done to girls accessing porn is also a huge issue. It's giving them entirely unrealistic expectations of themselves in terms of body image and sexually as well.

Parents also need to step up. The amount of parents I know who have no idea what their kids are up to on their phone because they don't want to violate their privacy is terrifying. One Mum said recently that she doesn't see the need to ever look at her 14yos phone because "kids these days are so grown up" - totally missing that that's prescisely why we need to be hotter on what they are doing.

I also think too many parents leave discussions about porn and the effects of it to the school. It needs to be discussed, just like social media, just like not taking a short cut accross the train line and just like not treating home like a hotel. It's a huge issue and it needs to be discussed.

ravenshope · 15/08/2019 20:23

I don;t really understand, sorry How are the boys getting pornographic images of 11 year old girls? Or does it mean something else?

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/08/2019 20:25

This affects both boys and girls not just girls.

DS 13 was shown porn by another sexually active 13 year old female Hmm who told him she wanted to do these acts on him Angry

TheBigBallOfOil · 15/08/2019 20:27

Hmmm. I think a resurgence in popularity of girls schools can’t be very far away, can it?
That’s where DD is going.

summersherewishiwasnt · 15/08/2019 20:29

Not sure I understand.
“Revenge porn” is easily resolved surely, by teaching girls, and boys, to never take or let anyone else take, compromising photos of themselves - let alone share them.

lyralalala · 15/08/2019 20:29

I don;t really understand, sorry How are the boys getting pornographic images of 11 year old girls? Or does it mean something else?

In the revenge porn cases it's a young girl who sent a photo to another child. That child then showed it to others when they fell out.

This isn't just a 'boys watch porn' issue. This is a 'our kids have normalised sending intimate/nude photos to each other' issue. It's causing problems for both boys and girls.

lyralalala · 15/08/2019 20:31

Hmmm. I think a resurgence in popularity of girls schools can’t be very far away, can it?
That’s where DD is going.

That doesn't solve the issue of kids sending photos to each other. From what I've heard from former colleagues it's a bigger problem at the single sex schools locally.

TheBigBallOfOil · 15/08/2019 20:34

Depends on the school, not an issue where dd is going, and girls only means they don’t face the in person harassment. Plus their lives just don’t revolve around boys - they’re just not that important.
Better in every way.

lyralalala · 15/08/2019 20:37

I'd be very wary of any school that declares it as not an issue tbh. If there are teenagers/pre-teens and those teenagers have phones then it's an issue that can always arise.

It's similar to schools that declare they never have any issue with bullying ever.

Knoxinbox · 15/08/2019 20:44

From what I've heard from former colleagues it's a bigger problem at the single sex schools locally.

How? Why would teenaged girls send each other nude photos?? Or teenaged boys for that matter??! When I was a teenager a boy sending another boy a nude photo would have been crucified as gay (early 90s, so being “Gay!” was still used as an insult)

lyralalala · 15/08/2019 20:46

How? Why would teenaged girls send each other nude photos?? Or teenaged boys for that matter??! When I was a teenager a boy sending another boy a nude photo would have been crucified as gay (early 90s, so being “Gay!” was still used as an insult)

They don't. The girls send them to boys in the boys school and vice versa. Then the relevant upset when they discover their pic has been shown around the boys school etc.

Sorry I wasn't clear. There's more of an issue with the pupils taking photos and sending them is what I meant.

MsTSwift · 15/08/2019 21:16

Our girls school is all over it. They run special informative evenings for parents we all leave like this Shock Envy

ReanimatedSGB · 15/08/2019 22:05

Firstly, 'revenge porn' is a distinct category problem, separate from 'children seeing porn'. Secondly, Safe Schools Alliance is clearly a wingnut organisation jumping on the anti-trans bandwagon.

Yes, kids need good, sound PHSE; they need to be taught respect for themselves and other people. Misogyny and sexual violence are big problems which need addressing. But please bear in mind that the majority of 'Waah, internet porn' scaremongering is propaganda, and the aim of the propaganda is to make people more accepting of state surveillance. Just like it always has been. It's not about protecting women, girls or vulnerable people (most pro-censorship people who have any power are more interested in putting women back in their places as domestic servants and walking incubators).

Images of underage people are already illegal; you can't 'call for' them to be made any more illegal.

TheInebriati · 16/08/2019 00:52

So that makes The Metro a bunch of wingnuts as well.

''Girl, 11, was one of UK’s youngest revenge porn victims
metro.co.uk/2019/08/14/girl-11-was-one-of-uks-youngest-revenge-porn-victims-10568541/?fbclid=IwAR3RVcU51fgM-7WQSZKkya6ZL0AgSAEoUJB2jNGnWp1RFsoAB-oGgmfBMJs?ito=cbshare

The article describes the enormous pressure women are under to send nude photos, but glosses over where that pressure comes from/

There is a crisis in the UK right now. Who;s rights matter more, those of girls living in this culture, or people who want to use porn and pretend its all about consenting adults.

ReanimatedSGB · 16/08/2019 02:00

Well, that article is a near-classic of scaremongering and spin - the only trick they missed was in not making the -probably made up allegation that someone aged eight had been 'the youngest victim'. Various alarming figures thrown around, a couple of comments from people who have been basically asked to comment on this SHOCKINGHORRIBLETHING with no notice - and fuck all substance. But, waa, we need to ban the internet like NOW because, waa.
Never mind the centuries of patriarchy dividing women into sluts and saints and punishing any attempt at claiming their own bodily autonomy...

AllergicToAverage · 16/08/2019 03:40

Is it really that bad that boys on a bus now all openly watch porn on their phones?!

It's depressing isn't it?

Three boys were excluded in the first few months of dd starting y7. There was a lot more than three boys doing it but these three would force girls heads to watch the screen. Boys parents were furious and blamed the girls parents in social media.

The school used to take it seriously but seems they're not as strict now as porn on the bus and laughing at girls being upset isn't being dealt with as strict as it used to be.

She's y10 now and it's almost a daily thing where she sees or hears a boy make sexual comments or attempt to touch the girls breast or lift their skirt up. Its often dismissed as lads being lads and the girls being uptight.

My nephew started secondary school last September and he's come home upset at porn being shared on the bus. My niece starts this year and my sister has been warned about boys laughing at porn and trying to take photos up the skirts of girls going on top floor.

There's some worrying stats about the increasing sexual assaults on girls at school and it's often the girls expected to leave. I think there was a bbc documentary on it.

kidsdoingmyheadin · 16/08/2019 05:07

It really worries me but I don’t think it’s not just porn it’s society in general. I also think it must be really confusing for young boys & girls because there are so many mixed messages in the media. Look at music videos for Ariana Grande etc or celebs posting nude selfies, surgery such as lip fillers that’s often called empowerment (which I think it can be). So teenagers are surrounded by the message that being perceived as sexy is important but that it’s also bad. It’s ok for a girl to post a provocative picture on insta & it’s ok for celebs to take nude selfies but if a school girl sends it to a boyfriend who shares it then the girl is shamed for being slutty. I also think it’s confusing for boys who see porn & perhaps think that’s what girls like/want.

Deathgrip · 16/08/2019 05:24

Secondly, Safe Schools Alliance is clearly a wingnut organisation jumping on the anti-trans bandwagon.

Based on what?

But please bear in mind that the majority of 'Waah, internet porn' scaremongering is propaganda, and the aim of the propaganda is to make people more accepting of state surveillance. Just like it always has been. It's not about protecting women, girls or vulnerable people (most pro-censorship people who have any power are more interested in putting women back in their places as domestic servants and walking incubators).

ODFOD. Absolute bullshit. I have no interest in censorship, but plenty of interest in preventing young women from experiencing porn-fuelled physical and sexual abuse as I have.

Images of underage people are already illegal; you can't 'call for' them to be made any more illegal.

They may be illegal, but it’s not exactly working as a deterrent is it? Rape is illegal but when only 1.5% of cases are even prosecuted, it’s more like theoretical illegality.

brighteyeowl17 · 16/08/2019 07:33

Not sure how much other schools do but when I work they are literally told about this on a weekly basis, pshe lessons assemblies etc etc. And they still think it’s a big joke. They have been told they go in sex offenders register for sending photos etc. Still think it’s a joke. Send photos and expect the school to be able to stop it. At some point there needs to be parental involvement and control of phone use. I can’t see what more schools can do as most have no phone policies it’s what the kids do outside of school that is the issue.

ravenshope · 16/08/2019 21:58

lyralalala thanks for explaining. For some reason I never thought of eleven year olds sending naked pictures of themselves to others, they are so young. :-(