Please sign to stop the British legal system discriminating against unmarried mothers

[Lulublue22]

Six months ago, out of the blue, my partner of four years walked out on me and my 18 month old twins (yes we had fertility treatment to conceive). He informed me by email he had left. We were not married but I assumed that as his common law wife and mother of his children he would have to provide for us. Sadly I was to find out to my detriment that as an unmarried mother I was ill protected by the law.
Since 2003 the legal system has granted fathers the same rights whether married or unmarried. I believe mothers deserve the same rights when it comes to maintenance and financial settlements, after all we do exactly the same job, give up our careers and devote our lives to our children. Why should we and our children be discriminated against for the sake of a marriage certificate?
Please read, sign and share my e-petition. I need 1,000 signature to get it before parliament. It is too late for me but it might not be for you. You can never predict what will happen. Thank you.
epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/68545

I don't understand. My DP is named as the father on the birth certificate. He has parental responsibility for DD, so would be financially responsible.

Is your DP on the birth certificates?

And I disagree with the sentiment that women give up their careers and devote their lives to their children, whereas the dads don't.

Seems antiquated.

There is this myth about the common law wife, which causes so much devastation as its doesn't exist.

I do think parents should have a uniting level of rights, regardless of gender or marital status. And it should come down to specifics of living arrangements and finances not status.

But until that day, education of women is key... No rights unless married. Don't get screwed over due to assumption and ignorance. Educate educate educate....

Sorry OP, I think that's a crazy idea. If I had accidentally gotten pregnant whilst living with my boyfriend I certainly wouldn't have expected him to be entitled to half of everything I owned.

You were stunningly naive to think your partner would have to do anything except provide for his children (he does have to do this if they are biologically his). In fact I find it hard to understand how so many women get into this position when there is so much information out there about exactly this.

Can you explain to me what advantages a man would have if he were in your position? So if his female partner had been doing what your partner had been doing, and then left to go to a tax haven leaving the children with their father?

OP: this is the fifth thread you have started about this today.

In each of them, the overwhelming view supports better education on the differences between cohabitation and marriage, but not removing the freedom to choose to live with someone without a legal relationship.

Information about the differences is already readily available, but it does seem that people do not necessarily pay attention to it at the right time.

sorry but you cant have the benefit of marriage if you did,nt get married .of course he should provide for the children .

Fathers have the same rights and the same responsibilities to provide for children whether married or unmarried. I believe these rights and responsibilities are shared by mothers aren't they?

Wives Vs cohabiting partners is a different matter. Your point isn't about unmarried mothers it is about unmarried women. If unmarried women want the same legal protections and obligations as married women then there is a simple solution. Get married.

I say this as someone who is not married. But I am financially independent so if we split I would not need to claim from him - or feel he owed me anything (for me - he would still need to share support for DD).

How many threads are there about this?

Your petition also states about having the same rights for child maintenance. Child maintenance is the same whether married it unmarked

*or unmarried

I think you need to be aware that the award of spousal maintenance through the court system isn't particularly common. The odds on you having received maintenance for YOU were therefore low unless your ex is a particularly high earner (and this would mean, usually, him earning well in excess of £2k a month after deductions, not before). And it doesn't help to say it, I know, but if you wanted the protection of marriage, you really should have got married or entered into a civil partnership if you have some kind of objection to marriage.

There is an expectation that an adult makes their own way in life if a relationship breaks down and that includes where there are children involved. It can be quite hard to get your head round this kind of thing but it is not your ex's responsibility to provide for you. You will receive the same child maintenance as you would had you been married. Your children are not worth less in this respect.

You seem to be advocating that father's shouldn't have the right to a relationship with their children unless the mother says so, unless a wedding took place. You need to think very, very carefully about this. Your children have a right to a relationship with their father, no matter how badly he may have treated you. He remains their father and there is nothing at all you can do about that. Developing a positive parenting relationship with him is key if your children are to grow up with him in their lives and are not to be screwed up by what has happened. Way too many parents - of both sexes - get caught up in hating the ex so much they can't see the damage it causes to your children. Someone told me when my ex walked out on me (I too got an e-mail) that I had to allow my children to love their dad, regardless. Try and be the bigger person - it's very, very hard!

I am sorry this has happened to you. Please know that from the depths of despair, it is possible to recover and go on to bigger and better things. My life has changed beyond recognition since my ex walked out but I wouldn't have it any other way now - I have a new home, a new career, new friends and am getting along great. It took a long time but I got there. You will too xxx

Im not sure how you think that children of unmarried couples are being discriminated against? If an unmarried or a married couple split up then the NRP is liable for child support. Whether the parents were married makes no bearing on the amount of child support paid.

I understand where you are coming from with regards to unmarried women getting nothing if the relationship breaks down, but that the chance you take!
I wasn't married to my DS's dad, we lived as a couple, the bills were shared including the mortgage on his house. We split up and i got nothing but that's just life. I lived with another partner before i met DS's dad and when we split i got everything, it's just luck of the draw i guess.
Women who don't have children invest emotionally and financially into relationships, sometimes for years, and they also could end up walking away with nothing. With your system childless women would be discriminated against so where do you draw the line?

More fool you! The NRP must pay child maintenance regardless of marital status so I fail to see any discrimination. If you chose to procreate with someone without getting legal protection in the case of your, the partner, wanting financial support, that is your lookout.