I am new to mums net... So I am testing the waters...
Having finally completed a long journey to resolve the situation I shockingly found myself in, a few years ago, I am resolved to start campaigning. I would, at least, like to raise awareness of the holes in the archaic laws that determine the welfare of our children, ourselves and what accountability there is for unwed parents who chose to withdraw their support and fight their responsibilities. The dream would be to see a change in the Law in England to be more in line with that of Scotland and France.
I want to know what interest this issue can generate to help us change the system so we are not so dependent on CSA, Legal Aid (now withdrawn for unmarried parents) and ultimately the state benefits who mop up the financial responsibilities of unforthcoming parents.
Do you know someone who has had children and receives little or no support from their former partner? Have they lost hope?
With 6.5million couples in the UK choosing cohabitation over marriage, I suspect there is a large percentage of those, like I was, who are totally unaware of the dangers they may face.
Today, more children are born out of wedlock than within marital status. For most people, it is either impossible or not worth the litigation to try to change the situation. I was very lucky but I had seen 5 disappointing lawyers before my friend convinced me to try the last. I feel the weight of the masses of parents (mostly mothers) who are unable to attain any support from their ex-partners, let alone enough to lift them off, at least some of, the benefits they need to sustain family life for their children.
The media gives single parents on benefits a bad wrap. I had children with a multimillionaire, whom I loved and totally trusted, so to find myself homeless and destitute with two children (2 and 6 months old) was unbelievable. I was so grateful that the benefit system finally helped us, after a difficult initial introduction to their systems. After a whirlwind we have finally resolved our case to meet the needs of the children only but I think that is more than most people in my situation get. I hear a number of single parents say things like, "its not worth it" and "I want to prove I can do it alone".
I now want to make a difference to even a few other people who are ignorant of their true position. with the help and advice of my solicitor I will be initiating an undertaking to highlight these issues in the media but it is a long, arduous and scary undertaking if the other stories and support are not out there for us to connect with.
If it needs it, I am prepared to follow the charismatic and inspired lines of Fathers for Justice, who did so much for shared access. I have my superhero costumes at the ready. Are there people out there ready to support this cause? or do I have to dress up and visit the capital to help make a point many have tried to make before me.
Molly